Monday, January 2, 2017

Why They Hate the Code, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... We gained keen insight into the inner workings of our enemies' thought processes.

XIX. The Furlough Man

"I'm not a carebear, I was on my way back from Jita..."

Is PvE in nullsec safer than PvE in highsec? The carebear apologists claim it is. We know that their actions say otherwise; they choose to mine in "dangerous" highsec. And their emotions say otherwise, too--their observable physical responses, even. For everyone knows that when someone from low/null/WH takes that first jump into highsec, he breathes a sigh of relief. He is physically more relaxed, in measurable, quantifiable ways. Why? Because he literally feels safer in highsec.

Hatred of the Code can run deep even outside the borders of highsec. We've seen how the Closeted Highsec Dweller exists in both worlds, and how the Nouveau Null carries his anger into the outer regions. Then there are those who are genuinely PvP'ers who spend almost all of their time outside highsec. The key word is "almost". For highsec is the beating heart of EVE Online. Everyone relies on it for something. And when those soldiers return from the outer regions and exit a stargate into highsec, they sink into a relaxed state--at their own peril.

The Furlough Man isn't in highsec by choice. He'd much prefer to buy what he needs in the outer regions. But for whatever reason, he isn't properly supplied out there. Maybe his nullsec alliance isn't well organized. Or perhaps he lives in lowsec or wormholes, where it's expected that everyone will do their own supply runs to highsec. On the other hand, maybe the Furlough Man is greedy, and he prefers to get his ships and equipment at rock-bottom Jita prices. Regardless, he decides to make the trip. For most of the journey, he's very alert, almost to the point of being paranoid. When he enters highsec, he lowers his guard. And then he's ganked by the New Order.

The Furlough Man is a PvP'er. He loves the danger and excitement. But he strongly he agrees with the highsec carebears that EVE needs a safe zone, a place where a grizzled vet such as himself can chill out and refuel. Upon jumping into highsec, he transforms, regressing to a carebear form. On autopilot and AFK, he is easily destroyed by our Agents. He flies a ship that can shoot back, and anywhere else, he'd gladly shoot back. But not in highsec. Here, he can only howl with rage.

XX. The Green-Eyed Monster

"Those statistics don't count. At least they shouldn't."

You might be surprised by how many people care about killboard stats--and how much they care. By this point, almost everyone understands the illusions created by killboards. Your personal killboard only shows your own losses, but gives you full credit for every ship you've assisted in killing, even if you inflict less than 1% of the damage. Assuming you're not a purely solo PvP'er, this tilts the stats heavily in your favor. The same goes for the stats of any corporation that works with others. Ditto for alliances that work with friendlies. Thus, everyone's killboard can be green, and everyone can be above average.

In the early days, nullsec alliances cared almost exclusively about killboard stats. Their bragging rights were based around their stats. So was their membership: They admitted or expelled players based solely on the stats. All this, at a time when players were relied upon to manually input their own losses! Then came the Goons, who shook up the old system. They ridiculed the "elite PvP" old guard and claimed only the objective mattered. They were fine with poor stats, as long as they could capture sov. Despite the Goon influence on EVE culture, the cult of the killboard never went away completely. They may hold space, but the nullsec alliances treasure their green killboards almost as much.

The ultimate insult came not from the Goons, but from an even more dangerous threat to the establishment: The CODE. For the CODE. proved that highsec gankers, if united, could score not only superior kill counts, but superior kill efficiency. Elite nullsec PvP'ers with carefully cultivated stats were shocked to see gankers out-kill them by billions, and all with nearly 100% efficiency. It was a devastating blow. Thus was born the Green-Eyed Monster.

The Green-Eyed Monster tried to twist the numbers in a multitude of ways, but the conclusion was always the same: The CODE. won. The CODE. alliance, with only few hundred members, out-killed alliances with several thousand players. Even more galling: Some individual members of CODE. out-killed whole alliances. Ironically, CODE. had proved to be the last bastion of solo PvP in the game. D400, an Agent who has been permabanned for over two years, is arguably the greatest solo PvP'er in EVE history.

In the end, the Green-Eyed Monster grew intolerably bitter. Though he tried to console himself by muttering about "ships that can't shoot back", he couldn't help but view his own stats in light of CODE.'s. The Green-Eyed Monster spent hours on roams only to kill a few inexpensive targets--then witnessed as CODE. casually ganked a Tengu or a Golem or a freighter worth billions. ...And then the pod, worth billions more.

The Green-Eyed Monster's whole conception of EVE was shattered. His achievements went out the window, along with the value system that had guided him for so many years. In short, his game was ruined. For that, he can never forgive the New Order.

XXI. The Jelly

"The GIMA Consortium did all this stuff years ago."

Given the New Order's unparalleled accomplishments, it's no surprise that many of our enemies are fueled by jealousy. Their envy comes in different flavors, though. While the Green-Eyed Monster is focused on killboard stats, the Jelly covets everything else about the New Order: Its fame, its influence, its originality, and its legacy--a place of honour at the heart of EVE history.

No one can question the unique nature of the Code and its impact on the game. It would be like asking, "Didn't some other alliance do what the Goons did, before Goons?" Only it would be more ridiculous, since the Goons are a traditional sov-holding nullsec alliance, while the New Order is the first and only organization ever to shape the very nature of highsec life, and to so thoroughly dominate the world of highsec thought--indeed, to create it.

The Jelly wishes he'd thought of the Code first, but even if he had, he wouldn't have done anything about it. After all, the Code is the law of highsec, and highsec has been crying out for a law and an order from the beginning. Highsec's need for the Code was readily apparent, and the concept of law is an obvious one. Surely anyone could have thought to devise the law, but to actually bring the idea into reality required the Code's own genius. Another proof: The Code has been with us for over four years, its fame and power an open invitation for imitators. Yet no one has been able to copy it. No one has been able to raise even the seedlings of a competitor. The Code stands alone, and always will.

The Jelly points to individual aspects of the New Order, forgetting that the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. But even here, the Jelly fails. The New Order wasn't the first to gank miners, it's true. Cries the Jelly, "You're not fit to lace Helicity Boson's shoes!" It's not for no reason that few EVE players today know who Helicity Boson is--most never even experienced Hulkageddon. When the great barge buff of 2012 took place, the Goons cancelled Hulkageddon Infinity, and Helicity never bothered to organize another Hulkageddon. The Goons attempted a repeat of the Gallente Ice Interdiction a few months later, but once they discovered that the barge buff made it impractical, this event, too, was cancelled, never to be resurrected. By the end of 2012, an official report from CCP intoned that miner ganks were at historic lows. In fact, the practice was virtually extinct.

Into this void marched the mighty New Order. We were the first to employ miner bumping in any serious way, and we saw fit to breathe life back into the corpse of miner ganking. Thus, we became the first and only organization to embark on a campaign of miner ganking in the era of the barge buff. The gankers of the past had relied upon easy profits. We had something better, something no one else had; we had something that allowed us to become the first and only organization to gank miners when no one else could do it. It was, of course, the Code.

We invented modern miner ganking--and that was the least original thing we've done. In this, too, no one has been able to copy us. If one looks through zKillboard long enough, one might find someone unaffiliated with the New Order who ganks a miner here or there, but when a newbie asks the EVE community, "Who ganks miners?", the answer is not a list of a dozen groups, or several, or even two. There is only the CODE.

The Jelly knows this, and it bothers him. Otherwise he wouldn't spend so much time thinking about us. He'd much rather there were a dozen different New Orders in highsec, so he could list them when asked, instead of being unable to provide any other examples. He could compare their different Codes, or perhaps draw up a map showing their different areas of influence. He could scoff at them all and not bother himself about the New Order, or its originality, or its unique power and impact on EVE.

Unfortunately for the Jelly, he must continue to be bothered. For there is and always will be one Order, one Code, and one Saviour of Highsec.

To be continued...


  1. Ohhh man, this series keeps getting better!

    The accuracy of these descriptions continues to crack me up. :D


  2. Ah falcon the biggest turncoat/pussy at ccp headquarters. Was the man at one point but lost his balls somewhere on the track.

    Oh and -

    Antiganking is failing nonstop daily!!!1

    1. When are you coming back so I can ban your new accounts? Nothing better than wasting CODE. ISK then having to watch Jeremy reinject and replex more accounts =D

    2. are you asking so you can stay obsessed with me or because you are genuinely interested in shedding tears over a video game?? XD XD XD

    3. CODE. members seem to be the only one shedding tears in Minerbumping. Crying about hics, bans, RMT, and ag.

      Your fall has begun!

      and before I get a nice miner calm down I am a null sec trader fight me

  3. Pure oxygen; the stuff of (Highsec) life!

  4. Remember Falcon, nobody is above the CODE. Not even you.

  5. its funny. you claim miners are sca red of null, yet i could name any miner worth his veldspar that would slap the taste out of your mouth.

    cmon down to teneferis if you want us to, little kid.

    lmfao what bullshit is this?

    who even CARES about highsec? only losers are there.

    grab your nuts mr 3 16, and come see us.

    we welcome your challenge.

    but cmon... lets be honest, you harass newbies because you have no balls. you stay in highsec because you've been castrated.

    cmon down buddy. lmao. i cant be more country than this, until you bring your merry band of cowards down to teneferis.

    see ya there buddy, if you ever get the balls..

    HAHAHA YEAH RIGHT. keep killin them newbies buddy.

    the rest of the real miners make fun of you behind your back though.

    you could change that.

    hey dont get mad at me i didn't call you a pussy; your actions did.

    What else can your actions do to recompense your cowardice?

    ... we hope to see you soon, kid.

    1. oh and in case you're just... too scared to do anything that requires work, its ok if you harass our highsec presence. we're fine with that.. but only if you declare war. none of that pussy bullshit.

    2. Hello willie, and welcome to the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia. Your recent wall of salt makes us believe you were already a huge PHag, and now it's official.

      Maybe you would like to link your main character down in Tenef, so we all know you aren't just some blowhard highsec miner.

      Don't be scared little willie, you can link your main here. This is a safe space, unlike that highsec 1.0 you hide in while claiming to be relevant.

      Whats wrong little willie kendrick? Reality got your balls?

    3. Willie ain't scared of you!

    4. Real miners, hahaha whats a real miner lol. Thats like saying im a parasite thats further advanced in the life cycle.

  6. Wow. This is a good rant... please keep crying wolf. Btw has anyone seen the Kusions????? XDXDXD

    1. Way to try hard. You must have recently joined the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia, you got the tears down pat.

    2. Kusions took the month off... don't know why. :)

  7. Well since you have the problem with CODE. you come to us. We have control of our sov and continue to enforce the law of high sec. Its a full time job, going to null on my ganker accounts requires me to do something. 4 words to inner peace and balance. Not my fucking problem. Keep calm and get a permit nullbear

  8. Another 3 year character explodes in james 315 territory. Myth busted.
    Get rekt

  9. But where oh where is Ming?

  10. "The GIMA Consortium did all this stuff years ago."

    Intrigued by this reference to an entity of whose existence I was ignorant, I scuttled off to Google in search of Wisdom.

    There I struck upon the following link, the only one even remotely returning useful information:


    The organisation doesn't at all resemble the New Order, and for 2 very good reasons.

    1 It fizzled out

    2 No Code.

    (Hint: these qualities may be linked...)


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