Sunday, June 7, 2020

Kills of the Week

Those who follow the Code value reason. Those who disobey the Code, on the other hand, do not possess reason--and their unreasonableness does them great harm. How do we know this to be true? Through reason, of course--and API-verified killmails. Like these, from the week of May 31st @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 6th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

HEGEMONIUSZ was AFK when his autopilot brought him to the Uedama neighborhood. Critically, he was in a bloated, anti-tanked, 9.8 billion isk freighter at the time. We can only assume that he intended to present himself as a gift to the Kusion family: Agents Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jason Kusion, Darth VaIdemar, Bob Painter, Inspector Implant, big brutor one, big brutor two, George Painter, Dubious Anime Name, Jeremy Kusion, Bob Welder, Josh Kusion, Bob Electrician, Jessie Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Nova Rage Torpedo, Jeffery Kusion, big brutor six, Jimmy Kusion, Continue Painting, Mjolnir Rage Torpedo, Jack Kusion, Further Painting, Caution AsianDrivers Ahead, and Charlie Painter. Regardless of the carebear's intent, he provided our heroes with a nice loot drop.

Is there ever a good reason to autopilot a Marshal? Hughes DePayen did that very thing. He only made matters worse by fitting his expensive ship with some extra bling. And then there was his route, which took him straight into the Niarja graveyard. He should've known that the system was Rackner country. Agents eviserater Adoudel, Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Jani Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Adara Gaea, Kimberly Rackner, Emily Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Globby Rackner, Vladimir Puotin, Benji Rackner, and Highsec Goddess' Priestess killed Hughes' ship and ruined his plan (whatever motivated it) to autopilot a Marshal through highsec.

Kozmo Kramer Taranogas was your typical arrogant Skiff pilot. He was convinced that a mighty shield tank would keep the gankers at bay. Apparently he failed to realize that when you use a mining ship worth 2.2 billion isk, you're basically paying the gankers to shoot you. Which is what happened when Agents Ebb Eto, Thirtyone Organism, Gankzie McGankFace, and IronRod Kami took the Skiff down. They collected 1.7 billion isk for their good deed. Their isk/hour ratio was considerably better than Kozmo's.

jcox0157 cox did something remarkable: He managed to spend half a billion isk on a Retriever... without equipping anything to the ship's sole midslot. Agents Ulianov and Shilliam Watner were pleased to destroy this carebear.

It seems this miner is in a hurry to lose more stuff.

Is it my imagination, or are blingy mining ships making a comeback? If so, this trend can only mean more heartbreak for the bot-aspirant carebears. Explacid Panala spent 1.9 billion isk on a Hulk, but he still managed to leave two midslots vacant. Agents Max August Zorn and Ernst Steinitz terminated the miner. This was no accident: They'd been looking for him...

As miners ought to know by now, when you buy a blingy module, you're funding our gankers--and giving them your name.

After losing his nearly 2 billion isk Hulk, Explacid Panala lost 3.3 billion more. Agent Ernst Steinitz had no trouble catching the pod, since Explacid was AFK at the time.

It should go without saying that if you buy a Michi's Excavation Augmentor, our Agents know who you are.


  1. Victory! Well done take a pie on the shelf.

    1. mmmmmm, winner's pie! Something the ag losers will never taste.

      Never forget shardani-GREER!

  2. The Code always wins!


    Now wash your hands, you nasty miners. And stop burning and looting, Agents will not be as negligent as democRat mayors! You will pay the price for your crimes in highsec.

  3. wow.
    A Michi's.
    In this day and age.


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