Wednesday, June 3, 2020

What's Their Beef with Lewak?

The New Order is more than just a network of EVE's most elite PvP'ers. It's a community.

...But some people don't like community.

When miners suffer the consequences of disobeying the Code--despite being warned countless times--they often blame our community and the extraordinary Agents who comprise it. Yet these very same miners are quick to confess their crimes.

The unsophisticated miner doesn't bother with "I wasn't AFK, I was just..." Instead, he admits to being AFK. And he doesn't see the problem with it.

So, rather than blaming himself for the loss of his ship, the miner blames someone like Agent Lewak.

It's bizarre, but miners really do think that their ships ought to be left untouched while they go AFK--even if they go AFK for an extended period. They believe that when their fellow EVE players come across their blingy, idle Hulks, the players should say to themselves, "I'd better not gank this Hulk. Its owner is probably feeding her children. I'll come back in an hour or two and then ask permission to attempt a gank."

But our Agents follow the Code, not the crazy rules that miners dream up while AFK in their "washrooms". So the miners have a fallback position: Don't gank new players.

Listening to these miners, you'd think "new players" were priceless diamonds. Yet they're frequently older players. And even the truly new players struggle to prove that they're worth keeping around.

I mean, how many highsec miners do we really need, especially if we're not supposed to gank them? And a lot of them are using alpha accounts, so it's not like CCP is reliant on their subscription fees.

Agent Lewak has, on occasion, ganked someone who has been playing EVE for "only" three weeks. Apparently Venture pilots should only be engaged in PvP once they reach four weeks. Or ten weeks. Or ten months. Or more.

But an obvious question arises: What's the difference between a two-week Venture pilot and a ten-week one? The art of mining AFK in a Venture can surely be learned in a day or two--even by a highsec miner. So what are they doing during those months of AFK mining that qualifies them for PvP?

As with all other reasonable questions, the miner can only answer with a shrug.

That's no veneer... It's the Code.

The truth is, miners should be thanking Agents like Lewak. By their own admission, highsec mining is a miserable, life-draining activity. Who's going to rescue them from it, if not our Agents?


  1. "will continue mining in my way", heck yea bro! You keep mining afk is that's the way you want to play!

    My question is why don't you support the gankers playing the way they want?

    That is the ag argument, right? They should be able to play 'their' way, same goes for gankers, one set of rules for everyone, they should be able to create an empire if they want, and punish invaders and terrorists.

    That's civilization friend!

    Highsec ag losers are such hypocrites.

    Thank goodness James got elected. He's made EVE great again!

  2. May I suggest a Code childcare protocol?

    Miners may feed their children while AFK in space, if and only if:
    - They first ask permission from a local Agent.
    - They first prove that they have washed their hands thoroughly before touching their children: we don't want kids getting filthy miner diseases.
    - they have washed their hands after feeding their children: we don't want sticky fingers on our keyboards, thank you very much.
    - they have removed and replaced all clothes that their child has soiled. We don't want miners naked, nor dressed in child vomit.
    - They cannot act all offended when an Agent challenges them on any of the above.
    - Above all, they cannot drop their child to rescue their beloved 100K ventures from ganks.

    These are sensible policies to protect children from miners' baser habits.

    Dr Tyler

    1. OR....

      They could just dock up.

      If the Savior wanted afk miners, he wouldn't have decided to save highsec. Do you even read the Code, bro?

    2. Oh, I think there should be a CODE child care protocol. And I’d add one more thing to it.

      Requiring each child to hold a CODE permit as well, for a modest fee of 10,000,000 isk each, because they too were afk while being fed and aspiring to be bots.

    3. @Anon 09:58PM
      We're all deeply familiar with the Code here. I hope you are too. I suggest you familiarise yourself with the Saviour's Bathroom protocols and extensions. If you haven't heard of these rules (and if not, why not) make this task your #1 priority.

      You will see there are parallels between the original and perfect Bathroom protocols and these contributions. Continual perfection is the hallmark of Code, and continuity of rulings helps the most stupid of miners understand their rights and responsibilities.

    4. Everybody knows ag's childcare protocol.......

      Chick chick BOOM.
      never forget shardani.

    5. Ahahahahahhahahahha ag childcare lul

      No AFK mining for any reason.

      Stop ganking your minOrs!

    6. anon1226 does NOT know the Code.


      Ffs, it takes longer to beg for and get permission to go afk than it does to hit the dock button. No AFK MINING!

      You should ask someone to explain Code theory to you.

  3. "Listening to these miners, you'd think "new players" were priceless diamonds." lul

    Diamonds? Ahahahah hell, they're barely even lumps of coal.

  4. "how the fuck are people supposed to enjoy mining in EVE?"

    Jeezus, I thought that was self explanatory! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO Enjoy it. That's why it's called mining, and not ganking (which everyone enjoys).

    Fucking carebears, no one likes you.

  5. One of the carebears said "you're ruining the game". No, we're ruining YOUR game.

  6. The self-professed new players are so conceited. They act like they're doing everybody a favour just by logging in, even though they've got nothing and know even less. Fortunately Highsec society is a strict meritocracy in which every capsuleer is required to demonstrate his own worthiness. And the first step is to obey the Code.

  7. Who the hell uses the term 'washroom' these days ???

  8. I nominate Lewak for the Best Agent Ever award.

    1. Best proposal so far, Lewak is the best agent ever.

  9. Lewak je gubitnik

    James 315 szar ló fasz

    1. Miner, if you insist on reciting words you do not understand, at least use correct ligature. It's "lófasz". Apparently the other miner who provided you this expression isn't an expert of his native tongue. That expression isn't used for a person. I suggest "James 315 bölcs és igazságos!" instead.

      I feel there may be a need for a new translation of The Code, so my countrymen could get further acquainted with the language they speak by studying a worthy text!

    2. James 315 stále saje koňského ptáka

    3. Guess the only remaining way for a miner to mitigate the effect of displaying their ignorance is to is to use obscure languages.

      Fossores omnes condemnabitur.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.