Sunday, June 21, 2020

Kills of the Week

As we often reflect upon and appreciate, Agents of the New Order are known for many things: Courage, dignity, elite PvP skills, etc. They're also extremely compassionate people--often ridiculously so, given how little our enemies are deserving of said compassion. Yet each gank committed by a Code enforcer is an act of mercy, a mercy killing. Which is entirely appropriate for ships like these from the week of June 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime...



ORE Strip Miners? Check. Blingy yield mods? Check. Midslots? Incomplete. Apollo Aegeus spent over 1.4 billion isk on a Mackinaw of all things, yet he couldn't even be bothered to tank up, much less buy a mining permit. Maybe he thought he was safe in Tourier, a 0.9 security system in the Verge Vendor region. Not so. Agents Fate and Destiny, Never Gonna SeeGrandKids, and Zopiclone made a routine patrol of the system and put this decadent carebear to death.



In recent months, the Bagodan system has become somewhat known for blingy ships. Whatever it was that brought WhiteMoon2 to the system, she was AFK at the time. Agents 1400mm Gallium Cannon, FleetJump Jump, Lovin Jr, Caldari Citizen 2116212079, Mr Lovin, Young Loving, and Taikao Isimazu were standing by with a group of Nagas and a Tornado, ready to blap the next blingy thing they saw.



Skarsnik was a classic example of the "I will protect my ship by spending lots of money on it" school of thought. But isk-tanking is totally contrary to the truths of the Code--and to common sense. While Skarsnik was busy dealing with a Triglavian NPC, the true masters of highsec were on their way: Agents Void Delivery Service, Seamus Scrapmagnet, Aiko Danuja, Shadow Cyrilus, Evil Marxist, Shadow Pearl, Your Amazing Buddy, Noll Kion, Alleil Pollard, Shadow Redemption, Whadda Badasaz, Shadow Fireball, Lisa Tears, and Shadow Defiance.



What's worse than a blingy Hulk without a permit? Try two blingy Hulks without a permit. In the same asteroid belt. Varstile Sinak and Warblazer Deadulus were simultaneously ganked by Agents Fate and Destiny, Never Gonna SeeGrandKids, Youthful Exuberance, and Zopiclone. I realize that bot-aspirants are known for being empty-headed, but what's with all of the empty mids lately?



As we saw earlier, NPCs have been aiding our Agents in whittling down the hitpoints of bot-aspirant carebears. EspionageX lost his Leshak partly due to NPCs, whereupon Agent Seamus Scrapmagnet finished off EspionageX's pod, which was worth 3.4 billion isk. If the carebear had been at his keyboard, he would no doubt have complained about not being warned. But in fact, he was. The whole system was...



Yes, others in the Kulelen system suffered the same fate. Less than an hour earlier, Moonbatter lost his Navy Raven thanks to a combination of NPCs and Agents. What happened next? You guessed it: Agent Seamus Scrapmagnet swooped in for a nice, fat pod gank.


Moonbatter's 3.4 billion isk pod with a Hydra set was slightly more expensive than the pod owned by EspionageX, who preferred Asklepians. But as every carebear ought to know by now, it doesn't matter what sort of implants you covet. What matters is the Code. And the Code says you're going to lose your implants. The Code's right: Don't waste your money on bling. Buy a mining permit before you undock!

47 comments:

  1. Miners disgust me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Riveting comment, as always.

      Delete
  2. Looks like midway miner is late again, by the time he arrives everyone has already read the post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When he reads this he will probably feel such shame realizing that the CODEanons have been busy ganking miners all week, and meanwhile Midwayminer hasn't really done anything at all!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Look at meeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeee" - MidwayShitter

    ReplyDelete
  5. YOUR
    CONQUEROR
    HAS

    ARRIVED!!!!!!

    How are we this evening my brainless cicadas?
    As is ritual, you may now begin to praise me :)

    anons disgust me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you remember to clock-in before starting todays shift? I'm displeased with your tardiness midwayshitter. You haven't even reached 200 posts a day for 6 months.

      Delete
    2. In the end you will learn to appreciate quality over quantity :)

      My posts are one of the finer things in life lol :)

      Delete
    3. How have you conquered us? All you are doing is spamming the comments, and you aren't even doing a good job of that. Nobody would objective consider this a 'victory' for you.

      Delete
    4. I think what he means is that he is an autistic retard, and by discovering that we allow him to post, he has somehow convinced himself that this is a success.

      Delete
    5. Your salt is objective evidence of my victory over you :)

      Any reasonable reader can see that. Only the blind anonmoles cannot see this truth :)

      Delete
    6. Your life must be truly miserable if these posts count as the finer things by your miner-standards.

      Delete
  6. Quiet night for the anonstarks, eh?

    I believe this is a deliberate attempt to disrespect me, as it is impossible that that they have a job to go to Monday lol :)

    The anonstarkcicadas must have their salt extracted: poor countries in Africa are in dire need of it! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you must have your tears wrought out of you, what the Africans really need is water.

      Delete
    2. Alas I have no tears to donate, otherwise I would have been generous :)

      But the selfish anonstark, though awash in his own tears, will not share his salt with the poor Africans. This speaks volumes of your inhumanity.

      "Anonstarks disgust me" (TM)

      Delete
    3. What's it like to be too stupid to know when people are making fun of you?

      Delete
    4. Unfortunately autism has no cure.

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    5. If you increase their meds they eventually calm down and just sit there staring at the television. Eventually Midwayminer's doctor will try this.

      Delete
    6. The anonstarks are clearly holding mirrors to their faces when they post such things :) This is a positive development!

      Though there is a long way to go, fear not my anonstark children, I will not abandon you :)

      Delete
    7. That's because you have a mental disease.

      Delete
    8. One that we all share: mutual love and respect lol :)

      Delete
    9. Just take your autism meds, then you will feel better.

      Delete
  7. Take your meds bro. We all want you to get better.

    ReplyDelete
  8. anonstark1204: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR_qa3Ohwls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your taste in music is almost as bad as your autism.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

      Delete
  9. That's the third time you anonstarks have used RickRolling. First time was funny, second time ok, third time meh :)

    Surely you know the new meme? :)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htIWbKYRHQk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you really fall for it three times?

      Delete
    2. Of course! I don't bother looking at the vid code, I'll just play it :)

      Delete
    3. Then I consider it a win in my book.

      Delete
    4. In your book only. I was hoping for some originality from the anonstarks, but as always they disappointed me :(

      Delete
    5. At least i'm literate midwayshitter, your probably having your nurse right all these failed 'comebacks' because all you can do is shit your diapers.

      The least you can do for your poor nurse is take your meds.

      Delete
  10. What a retard, he says he was hoping for anonymous commenters to entertain him, and he has been disappointed, and he keeps coming back for more!!! Hahaha, the dude is legit retarded, he even admitted he has autism. What a dummy, I hope he comes back everyday. He must be legit lonely in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm going to get natural medications from the CHAZ :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. All to be seen is the same person doing the same thing over and over and over and failing.

    When will ag stop failing?

    How insane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only a retard can think its a 'victory' over CODE to post anonymously on the comments that we let you post anonymously on. Like, oh boy, Midway sure got us good.

      Delete
  13. Comic Dancer, whay does the Code not make you happy?

    Your tears are unbecoming, Agent Dancer. Did your Spirit singer not restore your faith and joy in the Code?

    I offer you something more soothing then: if you stubbornly refuse to heal yourself, I can at least help sooth you lol :)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI

    ReplyDelete
  14. laughing AT you, not with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "We'll always be together, together in autistic dreams!" :)

      Delete
  15. why do you say stupid things?

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is a song about carebears:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrOQC-zEog

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pink Floyd had some great songs - that was one of them :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Replies
    1. it ends :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete

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