Monday, June 22, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 76

Previously, on MinerBumping... Betrayal! aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was horrified by the news that the existence of his ultra-classified "nullsec internet" had been leaked to some Imperium bureaucrats.


The nullsec internet wasn't the only secret that had slipped from aiva's grasp. MinerBumping had just published Part 45 of The Best Revenge series--and it identified FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years by name! aiva's council instructed him to go to Jita and prepare to biomass the character.


Unexpectedly, aiva had grown attached to the FJGS1KY character. But for security reasons, it had to go. Along with his trusted council members, aiva went on a goodbye tour of highsec.


Although his cover identity was burned, aiva himself was still very much alive. He simply needed to create a new character under which he could continue his operations.


aiva's council helped him pick out the name.


The transition was a difficult one. aiva struggled to make regular payments into his titan fund. From time to time, he called in sick.


As the coronavirus pandemic swept the globe, aiva's council sought aiva's advice on the matter. Perhaps they could harness aiva's supercomputer of a brain to develop a cure. Then the Imperium would have a decisive advantage over its rivals.


Initially, aiva dismissed the notion of using magnets to destroy the virus. But the more he thought about it, the more the idea intrigued him.


Unfortunately, aiva's mom said no.


Fortunately, aiva himself was likely immune to the coronavirus. It was one of his many superpowers.


Dear reader, kindly forget anything aiva might have previously said about his IQ.


People give aiva a lot of nicknames, but the rule is that any nickname must relate to some outstanding achievement of aiva's. Don't go calling him "fart face" or anything like that.


Even when aiva wasn't feeling up to a task, his council encouraged him. They were his biggest cheerleaders.


Nevertheless, in aiva's mind, the virus-killing supper magnet was dead on arrival. He was simply too polite to say it outright.


140 never surrendered; he merely switched gears. And he had an almost infinite number of gears.

To be continued...

38 comments:

  1. THIS IS THE VOICE OF THEINTERNET TWEEPSONLINE THEINTERNET

    HEAR ME NOW

    ROGUE AGENTS HAVE SECURED CONTROL OF JTCLONE2

    PRIORITY EAM TO FOLLOW//

    zvwIGhnDVRsJdw==#FoGnsokoEItVmBHmS1Q5yVr9IBPXIGUc9qe8zxILtQXpGbhfnIyefQ3nb88az9zqE6mYITtzBzFy96f5z55nh1CSOB79K1Drc6V1Vs0AvHVj/MRYr21jv3RTKryhUP9d0jwY0Fy/rYw+pRtrr+gpIxHmeEVJOt4vyrRwLkiIpqQHZElmk86GQ9gb2IIAyvRdD627IrzThnSZmrA+VnQO9Jdzm+6fT/hHnxucRRDhqugpo71lQ0OuLQ+O7KYw4cVHtpvUgEyTCCwQAaYbiqsXNU=

    //END

    CARDBOARD IS A VEGETABLE

    GODSPEED

    ReplyDelete
  2. His IQ is skyrocketing, he must be over 200 by now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i once found a magnet under the fridge, so never say never

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't go calling him "fart face" or anything like that. Comedy gold \0/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Greetings my zooplankton!

    How are we doing this evening?

    You may commence your praise of me, as is tradition :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Slow night tonight?

    That is unfortunate :(

    How am I supposed to get paid my 10KK isk fee if I don't increase the clicks to MB? :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Operation Silence will not save you from me, anonstarks :)

    You know that my patience with you has no bounds :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. My nullsec web will trap you all, anonstarks lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. cardboard is a vegetable

    ReplyDelete
  10. cardboard is the vegetable

    ReplyDelete
  11. cardboard is the only real vegetable

    ReplyDelete
  12. Replies
    1. I think we should sell attention permits for 10 mil isk to autistic retards.

      Delete
  13. what exactly disgusts you about miners

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesnt actually hate miners aiva, midway is just victor stark. He claims he is in support of the CODE but he'll never buy a permit and he has many false interpretations of the CODE.

      He even made an alt named "James 316" to mock our almighty lord and savior.

      Midway is and always will be an autistic retard.

      Delete
    2. False! :) Lies, as always from the anonstarks :)

      I am stark/greer/trump/putin/xi and I made an offer for an alt to purchase a permit, but this was rejected.

      This was somewhat puzzling, since just like aiva's biomassing and resurrection, it is the player that matters - not the toon. How amusing would MB be if all the ragers were NPCs and not actual people? Not at all :)

      Nor did I ever make an alt "James 316" I did however RP James 316 on this blog until Prof. Lawrence kindly asked me to stop, and I obliged :)

      Do you not see, aiva, the treacherous nature of the anonstark? They will not hesitate to feed you lies at your peril :)

      Unleash your nullweb upon them! :)

      Delete
    3. midway im already useing it why do you think these wars are starting up

      Delete
    4. *in Palpatine voice* Goood! Goooooood! :)

      Delete
    5. Midway, I applaud you. You successfully disinclined the main anon from shitposting for one day. I don't think any guest poster has ever accomplished that before.

      Now, a correction: you were invited to identify yourself with your EVE main character. Instead you offered to create a throwaway alt for the singular purpose of displaying the permit and getting ganked. This was deemed unacceptable. The reason being that the permit is symbolic expression of support for the Code by the player himself. Its prominent placement in the bio is a public gesture of support for all to see. Concealing the permit on a throwaway alt would defeat the purpose and undermine your own sincerity.

      Look to me as a role model, for I am one who leads by example. The bio of my Blogger account "Professor Lawrence Lawton" discloses my in-game character Lawrence Lawton who is the founder and senior instructor of The Lawton School For Pubbies Who Can't Mine Good corp. This corp is incidentally the fourth largest holder of New Order shares.

      My blogger bio also discloses the identities of my Imperium mains Ichiroh and Johann Hemphill. All of my alts also display permits that were purchased at full price from respected Agents who are not my alts. All this, even though Agents are technically exempted from the need to display permits entirely. So why hesitate?

      The permit is a declaration of your support for PvP in a PvP game, and your opposition to botting and bot-aspirancy. Get yours today. At the very least it'll help you realize which of your friends are worth keeping: effectively sorting the wheat from the chaff. Praise James!

      Delete
    6. As always you are correct Prof. :)

      Yet you put me in a dilemma. By revealing my main I put my Alliance - my friends - at great risk.

      We do well enough as a mid-size Alliance but I have no illusions about CODE.'s capability: we would be no match for CODE. in war and it borders on 100% that they would feel the wrath for my posting here :)

      I could take a hiatus from EVE no problems: I have so much RL stuff going on it would probably be a blessing lol. But taking a hiatus would also defeat the purpose of showing my support with a bio.

      I could leave the corp/alliance, get my bio then take a hiatus but that would not save any corp I joined if I returned.

      Forgive me as paranoid if I find it difficult to believe any assurances that my alliance would remain unmolested :)

      So. I have a conundrum lol :)

      Could we reach a compromise where for example my blog account links to an alt but I make a 10x donation i.e. 100mill isk donation to the New Order Treasury?

      Where the anonstarks cannot drive a knife into me, Prof., you can lol :)

      Delete
    7. An anostark says "coward" LOL!! XD

      Delete
    8. It appears our infamous reputation has preceded us. Let me assure you that the CODE. alliance and the New Order of Highsec in general are not interested in pursuing non-Goofuses, particularly those living outside our territory. Our focus is primarily is on strongly encouraging highsec bot-aspirants to emigrate from our territory, as you have, admittedly, already done.

      Mid-sized Alliances residing outside of highsec are completely off our radar.

      However I cannot speak for the forces of the "anonstark" you have righteously shamed, for he is not a known member of the New Order. I understand your conundrum. It is possible that "anonstark" may have powerful friends residing outside highsec who could be convinced to retaliate upon your brethren.

      Though I cannot compromise on the permit, there is another way to show support. Since you are already prepared to create an alt, do so, and place him in the position of CEO of a corporation with a name of your choosing containing the word "Midway". From this corp wallet transfer 100m ISK (or a greater sum by your discretion) directly to James 315. You will then be immortalized as a Shareholder and gain a measure of legitimacy in the eyes of the community.

      Delete
    9. Larry this is so embarassing and cringey! Honour not for sale! You cannot bribe the CODE!

      Delete
    10. midway's isk is no good here, the CODE does not want this autistic gift

      Delete
    11. I accept your terms Prof.

      *in Yoda* Always reasonable you are :)

      Delete
    12. Anonstark619 that will be for James 315 to decide :)

      Delete
    13. It is done :)

      I accept my fate, whatever it may be :)

      Delete
    14. I didn't want to interfere with the permit-sale process of an agent, but this was low. No wonder he had to re-write The Code into a carebear-compatible format - agent Lawton only has a very superficial grasp on it's principles.

      I'd be an anon any day instead of being associated with that name, and boasting about shares.

      Delete
  14. CARDBOARD IS A VEGETABLE

    ReplyDelete
  15. miners disgust me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what about them disgusts you

      Delete
    2. i love miners they are cool people and build our ships

      Delete
    3. Is it possible that aiva have not read The Code yet?

      Delete
  16. cardboard is a vegetable

    ReplyDelete
  17. miners disgust me.. I MISS JAMES :(

    ReplyDelete
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