Tuesday, June 23, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 77

Previously, on MinerBumping... aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years aka AstevonWard OverGreer aka lil bullet aka 140 and his trusty council had an intense brainstorming session to figure out a way to defeat the Imperium's enemies. Magnets were considered.


From day to day, aiva's council never knew what idea the young genius might come up with next.


One thing about aiva was predictable, though: He was always up to something.


From time to time, aiva floated some unorthodox methods for making money. His council was more traditional: If aiva wanted to earn some cash, he should get a job delivering pizzas.


Alas, aiva couldn't turn pizzas into PLEX until he earned his driver's license. And that goal was always just out of reach.


The council was confident that aiva's supercomputer of a brain was up to the task. I mean, this was the guy who had built a nuclear reactor in his garage with a box of scraps. How difficult could a driving exam be?


As always, it came down to the Code.


It was clear that aiva had been rattled by his previous failures to pass the exam. But this time, aiva had a resource that hadn't been available to him before: An elite group of the Imperium's finest intelligence operatives. And so aiva's council embarked on their most difficult assignment yet.


Getting aiva to pass a driving exam wouldn't be easy. In real life, one cannot simply play some energetic music and run a training montage. And Mr. 140 wasn't as good a student as one might assume from his IQ.


Despite the challenges, aiva's council was determined to transform the young genius into a productive citizen who could hold down a job.


Although aiva was always one question short of passing his driving exam, that one question made all the difference in the world. The harder aiva trained, the more distant his goal seemed.


aiva grew increasingly frustrated. But his council tried to keep him motivated. The man who aspired to conquer all of nullsec was no quitter. He had pulled off countless miracles in the war against Pandemic Horde. What was one more?


aiva resisted. Getting a job and earning a living sounded like a lot of work. Was it really necessary?


But aiva's council knew that in order for aiva to realize his dream of traveling across the galaxy, he would first need to be capable of transporting a pizza across town.


Of course, aiva never did things the traditional way. He was born to blaze his own trail. No matter the cost.

To be continued...

50 comments:

  1. miners disgust me

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  2. You're really going to let that mention of Aiva opening a brothel just dangle like that?

    We're going to need details. Copious details.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Goddamn Star Trek characters and their sexy Sonic the Hedgehog avatars.

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  4. Aiva's dick is as big as his IQ ;)

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  5. Aiva's dick is as big as his titan fleet!!!!

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  6. bro, what a burn fromm the goonfuehrer of New Zealand, haha, puny little Americans, New Zealand boys are real men

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  7. im glad they helped him get a driver's license, that's the kind of good works the world needs

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  8. LET THE BIRDS FLY

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  9. The autist has arrived...
    Cue the lights!

    Now give me attention!1!

    ReplyDelete
  10. They let miners drive in your country?

    Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Greeting my strands of defective RNA!

    How are we all this evening?

    You may commence praising me, as is tradition :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can buy an attention permit for 10kk isk.

      Delete
    2. This is a big step midway!
      I congratulate you! You've finally done it, you've accepted the CODE!

      Delete
    3. I always have, why do you think I came to MB in the first place? :)

      The problem is I have is 12 year old anons screeching in proto-English lol :)

      Delete
    4. 1000 shares on your first purchase. Nice! That's a guaranteed Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ to be awarded in tomorrow's shareholder update post.

      Delete
    5. wow. Midway's the one person I would've least expected to ever get a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

      Delete
    6. I would understand if he did not acknowledge it given my presence on MB :)

      It's possible he would even regard it as a form of trolling, though it wasn't.

      Recognition is not a motivator for me to to do what I think is right :)

      Delete
    7. If donating 1 billion to someone is a troll can you troll me next midway?

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    8. I doubt he wouldn't acknowledge you though, as William Greer purchased over around 1600 shares as he was 'trolling' the site and he's still on the shareholders list.

      Delete
    9. The Supreme Protector is not one to hold a grudge. His forgiveness is legendary. That is why we show respect by capitalizing His pronoun.

      Would anybody care to join me in a round of Praise James?

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    10. Praise James!

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    11. How could i decline such a pleasant invitation? ;)

      PRAISE JAMES!

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    12. Lets all join hands and pledge our eternal devotion to James.

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    13. He truly is a prodigy. Praise be upon James 315!

      Behold The Saviour of Highsec by Agent Alt 00. Note the prominent chin and cheekbones, the look of purpose in His eyes, golden Catalyst adorning the front of the robe, and the twin scepters topped with NOL and CE emblems denoting the two most prominent corporations in CODE.

      Delete
  12. 100 million isk is like 70 cents. You really think you can buy us off with such a paltry 'gift' - its a penny insult. James knows what you are, a greedy little mining carebear.

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    Replies
    1. only if you could under stand what i do but every ones aa critic

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    2. Im sorry for this Aiva, but did you just misspell the word 'a'.

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    3. no ones perfect we all have our flaws one of myn happens to be typing

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    4. your right aiva im sorry.

      Delete
  13. It was a whole $7 !!!!
    I could've bought some KFC with that lmao! :)

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    Replies
    1. What you just posted is proof that it's a trivial amount and will gain you no respect. Thanks for the isk bro, but you are still an autistic retard.

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    2. I expect nothing in return. No strings attached, no salt :)

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    3. Anons can't own shares. Hence the jealousy.

      Delete
    4. Slight change of topic :)

      I've decided I don't want my new toon to be a throw-away, but a ganker :)

      I always loved that post where someone (Stark?) ganked with an Orca loaded with smart bombs.

      I will train my new toon up to do the same :) I'm sure I could get myself in the middle of a mining op then detonate lol :)

      Delete
    5. Wait didn't Willie join CODE for a bit too...
      this is oddly familiar.

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    6. I said nothing about joining CODE. Just being a ganker :)

      Delete
    7. I wish you many explosions! It's my favorite part.

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    8. Anyone can join the Knights of the Order. There are no rites to pass and no corp to join. Just one sacrifice: a baptism by CONCORD. See the gank page for a full description.

      Delete
    9. Come on Larry, you know our standards are higher than that.

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    10. Maybe the case when joining NOL.

      They are trash.

      Delete
    11. Wow I came here to post this and saw that you already did! So I'll be less polite.

      NOL has always been trash. But it used to be better trash. Now it's rancid trash.

      Delete
  14. Fitting that James ends with this story, which is all about personal responsibility and the need to get it together and stop being a miner in real life.

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    Replies
    1. James has taught us so many lessons :(

      Delete
  15. Pizzas into Plex lmao.

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