Friday, June 14, 2013

Ambassadors to Ikao

The sun never sets on the New Order of Highsec. Regardless of the timezone, our Agents are busy shining their light in the darkness of empire space.

Agent Lord Mandelor brought me a report from Ikao, a system nestled in The Citadel region of Caldari highsec. He previously reported on rebel activity in that system, which was infested by a rogue brony who scoffed at the Code.

Mandelor was accompanied by Agent Father Julius, as well as Agent-aspirant Lord Kailethre, who came seeking baptism. The Ikao locals seemed in good spirits, and they assured our heroes that all was well.

But our Agents knew better than to take the miners at their word--carebears lack honour. The Agents decided to do a spot-check right then and there. They soon learned that foul deeds were afoot in Ikao.

Churro Copter was mining without a permit. When she learned that she needed to pay for mining privileges in the system, she chortled. This was a mistake.

Death is the fate of all who would chortle at the Code. Out of nowhere, Knight of the Order Guybertini galloped into the asteroid belt on his suicide steed. Until that moment, he had been silent in local. No one saw it coming.

As the good guys celebrated the victory, rebel Gunedis Kiranova could only express his amazement. Until now, he hadn't taken the Order seriously.

Gunedis's statements should make it crystal clear what we're fighting against: He thought it was impossible to die in a 0.6 system.

Having witnessed emergent gameplay in highsec, Gunedis vowed to sound the alarm to the rest of his corpmates.

Gunedis was infuriated that someone would dare to PvP in a 0.6 security system. He declared himself for the resistance.

Immediately afterward, Tethys Eion entered Ikao and denounced the Saviour of Highsec. He belonged to the same corporation as Gunedis, the corp's "head recruitment officer". Had Gunedis called in reinforcements?

As it turned out, Tethys didn't even know Gunedis. So much for team spirit and cohesion. Just another example of highsec carebears playing EVE on single-player mode. They may join player corps, but they don't work together: They simply copy, in a very superficial way, what they see real EVE players doing. Their corps are for show.

Sativa X tried to reach out to the rebels, sharing her positive experiences with Code. Did you know that we've never had a dissatisfied customer?

Before long, Lord Kailethre got his chance to be baptized by Concord when he podded a Code violator. I am confident this made a positive impression on the locals. I often say that our Agents are the best ambassadors we could ever hope for. Their honour, integrity, and valiant acts of courage are an inspiration to us all.


  1. I must apologize for crashing the party in such a rude fashion.

    I was focusing on managing my cloaky scout & fitting/launching the Gankinator & then avoiding campers & Faction police, I had no idea this was going on in local.

    Looks like the timing wasn't too bad though. Unfortunately Churro Copter turned down my generous emailed post gank offer to sell her a mining permit.

    - Guybertini

  2. ha, REAL funny. You better keep those dogs out of ikao, and sending multiple people into a corp to gank their ships and steal our stuff is against the rules.
    if Mandelor and his little pals don't stop harassing our corp I will REPORT THEM for harassment. Their little fight with brony is effectivng new members our corp. soloing orcas with a bunch of out of corp medic ships is an EXPLOIT, and I swear I will petition if any more people show up to kill for no gain
    Watch yourselves

    1. Riveting tale, old chap.

      Please post the blow off reply you get from CCP here so we can all get a good laugh.

    2. Creating an overburden for the GMs is against the code, perhaps you should watch yourself, lest you lose another 650mil ship.

    3. Hahahaahaha hahahaa. Hahahahshs. Hahahahaa I can't stop..... hahaha.... oh god.....hahaha...."steal our stuff is against the rules..." hurts......

      ...ahem...I think I've recovered a bit...hahaha...oh there that's better.

    4. It's ok guys, he's got another 12 Orca's.

    5. "Watch yourselves" ourselves, what? Blow up your ships? Okay. LMAO.

    6. "...sending multiple people into a corp to gank their ships and steal our stuff is against the rules."

      You must be new to EVE.

    7. It's a good thing CCP has created templates to send out for all these petitions.

    8. What is a carebear? A miserable little pile of petitions.

  3. I can assure you all that Allan was not an infiltrator, but in fact a close friend of mine introducing the pony corp to emergent gameplay. Multiple witnesses can confirm he defeated the Orca in a fair duel, and Sativa X was rewarded for her Honour by salvaging the wreck.

  4. LMFAO at both sides. I love the lulz I get all round here. :)

    Definitely worth reading. I lul at all parties involved and say to the whineybears, suck it up dudes. And same to the wannabe PvPers "gankers".


    1. They do a lot more than simply gank or PvP, they enforce laws and make High Sec a better place.

  5. Haha I hope we'll se more from the strange couple Gunedis Kiranova - Tethys Eion and their Corp!

  6. Haha so many EULA-based fallacies, let's recount them shall we?

    1) Thinking that awoxing and corp-theft are violations of the EULA.

    2) Thinking that filling your Corp up with noobs creates some sort of a 'Noob Shield' you can use to ward off aggressors. (In my opinion this is the most pathetic and funniest one.)

    3) Thinking that little ships taking down big ships and neutral reps are exploits.

    4) Thinking that killing someone for "no gain" is petitionable. I've even heard an agent in fleet echo this nonsense after I suggested we take down the next freighter regardless of it being full or empty. The agent seemed to think killing an empty freighter would be a violation of the EULA. This is NOT true. Ask a GM, in EVE, you're allowed to kill anyone, for pretty much any reason. You're not allowed to kill the same person consistently over and over across distant regions. That's about it. So.....

    Empty freighter? Go for it! You just wanted on the killmail anyway.

    Someone says something you don't like on the forums? Hunt them down and murder them for it.

    <Month old character sitting still in an untanked Gnosis? Fuck it! F1

    -Galaxy Farm Space-Law Firm


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