Thursday, December 4, 2014

Brainiac Attacks

Our Agents are always scouring the asteroid belts of highsec, looking for miners to save.


Sometimes the wayward miners identify themselves. Their bios scream, "Help me!"


By destroying Brainiac Primal's ship, Agent Liek DarZ was able to impress upon the miner the importance of compliance.


The carebear shed his rebellious posture and sought guidance from our Agent. But were the lessons sinking in? Liek decided to put Brainiac to the test. He left the system, then reappeared and requested Brainiac respond in local...


Unfortunately, the newbie (who has been mining in highsec for a few months now) was having difficulty speaking in local in a prompt manner. He was too new, he claimed. That's everyone's excuse for everything these days. If you robbed a bank IRL, would you escape punishment by saying, "I'm a newbie. I'm too new to follow the law"?


To further aid the miner, Liek explained precisely how to properly tank a mining ship. Brainiac said he understood and promised to upgrade his defenses in the future, rather than fitting for yield.


Things were going great. Brainiac paid for a mining permit and replaced his anti-Order bio with a pro-Order one.


But within a day, Brainiac removed the mining permit from his bio. What went wrong?


Brainiac explained that the removal of his bio was an accident. He was trying to change the color of the text in his bio, but was too new to do it without deleting the bio. Maybe he was telling the truth. However, Liek found something disturbing in that EVEmail: "Must earn ISK." The miner sounded a lot like a bot-aspirant.


Then came another excuse: Peer pressure from his fellow miners. It amazes me when carebears complain about retaliation from other miners. The carebears can't gank you. We can. You should be much more concerned about our reactions than those of the other carebears. And if the carebears complain about you "financing" the New Order, tell them you already paid for your permit, so removing the permit from your bio won't have any effect on our finances.


The next day, Agent Liek DarZ discovered Brainiac in Kino. He wasn't in a "remote area" at all. Instead, he was simply mining without a permit in an untanked, yield-fit Mackinaw. The apostate had even broken his promise to tank his ship! Now he would suffer for it. He was swiftly destroyed. Would he recognize the error of his ways, or would Brainiac return to the resistance?


An hour later, Brainiac wrote a chilling revengemail.


He no longer had a ship to mine with, so Brainiac repeated his threats in Kino local. He wasn't too new to figure out how to type stuff in local anymore.


The miner pledged his EVE career to the destruction of the New Order. No more mining and making money, he said. Not until every last Agent was driven from highsec.


Now we must all wait for Brainiac Primal to finish training the particular set of skills he needs to exact his revenge. Until then, let's consider the tragedy of Brainiac. He paid for a permit. He was instructed in the ways of the Code. Yet he threw it all away (along with his next Mackinaw) for the sake of idle rebellion. What a Goofus!

12 comments:

  1. He could be Liam Neeson in Taken ... except he hasn't yet acquired "the skills" :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have ISK. But what I do have are a very particular set of skill books, skill books I have acquired over a very long career of mining."

      Delete
  2. Carebears die while Veers Cries and the Code just keeps on winning!!!!

    The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

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    Replies
    1. No you are still wrong about that!
      And how about EVE is a game when you Code. nerds say this
      "If you robbed a bank IRL, would you escape punishment by saying, "I'm a newbie. I'm too new to follow the law""
      Now it's OK to draw parallels between the real world's actions and EVE but not when a miner does.

      Make up your mind, is it ok to draw parallels between the real world and EVE or not?

      The worst part when you keep saying that EVE is a game and in a game you may be a real retard and so on and shouldn't think about the person in the receiving part at all.

      There are thousands of incidents from humans that played video games and killed just because of that so even if EVE is a game think about what your might do to someone else.
      If you have zero to negative empathy you should NOT play EVE and you should NOT play as a ganker that's for sure.
      It's one thing that you gank the player but you do everything you possibly can to make them mad and that's not ok in any game at all.
      I have a short temper so if you did even half of that against me in real life you would meet your saviour for real. I almost killed one of my bullies just because he did like you do, kept pushing to the limit. If he would left me alone after he kicked me in the head he could walked away with me just being the victim, now he stopped breathing and nearly died instead. It was classified as legal self defence and nothing happened to me and I have never been in a situation there I got prosecuted or anything.
      I had to pay a dude's medical bill after he tried to rob me with a knife and he got injured when I disarmed him, maybe the judge didn't like when I told her that I would do it again if he tried to rob me again ;)

      And one thing, the guy who kicked me is still the same idiot today so don't think ganking will change all players. When I defended myself that day I thought that he would learn from that and he clearly didn't but he avoids me today.

      In game I have much cooler temper since the only thing I will lose is game time and maybe some real money for game time etc.

      But since it's humans behind the keyboard there will always be the few ones that can't really see the difference between digital world and the world they are supposed to live in so don't push that near the limit.

      I don't really think Code. members are bad people but they tend to push other players so near the breaking limit that it's not ok anymore. Have you no sense when you are pushing to far?
      If you feel that you need the thrill you are welcome to my work, we keep rapists, murderers, pedophiles etc so you may push them a little and se how they react.
      Don't forget to tell them it's just a game you are playing and se if they care ;)

      Just joking, the people at work is not to play with if you want to live another day.

      Let us all play a game with no pushing just to break a persons mind.
      Gank if you must but don't push to far!

      Delete
    2. The code is winning with DJ, D400, Jerry Rin, Erotica1, and others all banned from the game? Some victory. CODE keeps on griefing new players and will eventually be relegated to the dustbin of history.

      Delete
    3. The Code is far greater than any fallen hero.

      Delete
  3. What, still no spin for marmite? How sad little Jimmy, how sad.

    Code always wins - by ignoring any loss.

    Do the players who throw isk at NO for miner tears ask themselves why that isk was pissed up against the wall for the waste of time at AT XII? Or why NO is now a lapdog for Goons? Or why some agents are self-appropriating funds by scraping their bounties on each other then SRP the hulls? These questions and more... will be ignored at least by Jim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if you bothered to open the war report you would see that CODE. alliance has destroyed 4x the amount that The Marmite Collective has. If that's a loss, then I don't want to be winning. :D

      Delete
    2. idiot, you don't have to justify it to me, but to your benefactors - hint the people that are funding your SRP. my comment is not about the state of the war, but the lack of communication. something you just failed as well.

      Delete
    3. Thing is, the people that fund the SRP don't pay for winning wars, they pay for the content provided by the New Order, and CODE. alliance is part of that. And since this blog continues to provide such, I'd say they're getting their money's worth.

      Delete
  4. Wonderful work, agent Liek DarZ!

    The CODE always wins! ALWAYS. Also grats to the New Order on their stunning defeat of the evil mermaids, led by the one and only Tomato Burrito. The fact that they thought they could stand up to the CODE. alliance and come out ahead was adorable!

    ReplyDelete

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