Monday, December 22, 2014

Salah's Listening Tour, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri went on a listening tour of highsec, seeking constructive criticism and useful feedback from the miners he ganked. His goal was a noble one: To improve the service he provides to struggling carebears. But Salah got more than he bargained for when Falcore62 threatened to retaliate for his lost exhumer.


Although Falcore62 said he would hunt Salah down, he was willing to let the matter slide--if Salah reimbursed him for the loss. Salah proposed the standard New Order counteroffer: Miner, buy a permit. The two sides were far apart, but with any luck, they would meet in the middle (i.e., Falcore62 would give Salah everything he asked for).


Falcore62 accused our Agent of being mad. It's odd for a ganked miner to say an Agent is mad; usually it's the other way around. But I think Falcore62 was using the word in the British sense, as in, "Scorpio, you're totally mad!"


Unfortunately, the miner was unable to pay. Ten million isk was more than he made in a week.


Falcore62 idled in the channel as Salah brought another miner into the conversation. Giovanni Freezer demanded Salah "explain" the destruction of his mining ship, and then said that he didn't want to hear "some ridiculous explanation". Carebears are so confused.


Suddenly, Giovanni revealed that he was a brand new EVE player who'd only been playing the game for an hour. The news landed on Salah like a ton of bricks. At long last, the carebears could point to an example of a New Order Agent killing an innocent newbie.


...or not. In fact, Giovanni had been mining in highsec for more than two and a half years. The search for a newbro "victim" continues. Still, Giovanni considered himself a new player, since he'd recently taken a break from the game.


When Falcore62 saw that Giovanni had experienced a gank also, the idea hit him: What if all the gank victims joined forces and took on the New Order? It sounded like the perfect plan, though Salah identified a potential problem with it.


But the miner was not to be dissuaded from his mission. He would remain at his keyboard until the New Order Agents were all brought to justice. And somehow he would ensure the rest of the miners would refrain from going AFK, also. With his charisma, I guess.


Salah's listening tour paid off when Giovanni brought a new criticism to his ears. According to Giovanni, the problem is that miners don't know about the permits, and that our Agents don't tell people enough about them. Point taken. From now on, the New Order will step up its efforts to inundate highsec with information about the Code.


Later, Salah introduced himself to a Russian miner. It was done according to New Order custom, by suicide gank. But Gharik Kashada didn't seem very open to learning about Salah's culture. Since Gharik was uncomfortable speaking to a "drunken muslim ))", Agent Rabe Raptor was called in to assist:


Rabe was quickly brought up to speed.


Without warning, another bombshell: Gharik Kashada claimed to be an agent of CCP! Had Agent Salah finally picked a fight he couldn't win? Was this the end of the New Order?

To be continued...

38 comments:

  1. The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I can watch your execution, slow and really painful ;)
      And no, not a threat, just roleplaying here ;)

      Delete
  2. I bet the gutless miner is lying. Miners are always claiming they're CCP "Agents", trying to trick real Agents into leaving them alone. You can tell it is lying because, from what I understand, CCP always talks in blue font.

    ReplyDelete
  3. These miners are just so... painfully pathetic. I'm getting a headache just reading their chatlogs. It's one of the reasons I quit ganking as "Colonel Falkenberg" and sent that toon on to someone else.

    I just could not be bothered to try and explain it to these guys... much better just to shoot them. When they convo'ed me I just say "read my bio". As far as I was concerned, it was their responsibility to purchase a permit and follow the CODE. Not "knowing" about it was no excuse.

    I was not a very forgiving or patient agent... more the hammer than the shepherd. I just can't be bothered to coddle people when they should know better... Agent Salah shows great patience. A great man.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I have such power!",
    says every helpless miner
    Bluffing's all they know

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They have power. Do not deny it!
      ...

      They have the power to go AFK while cycling their mining lasers. Imagine the horror of the asteroids as they are consumed by an opponent who isn't even playing.

      Delete
  5. Oh no! Is Salah in trouble? Is the Code to be defeated in this ultimate battle?

    ReplyDelete
  6. It is really surprising that you people lap up the same tripe week after week. So let me get this straight, someone has handed over a billion isk basically as a subscription to "tear daily". But really Miner Blah in episode IV? Really delivering the value around here Jim. These saps have not woken up. Its just another pyramid scam.

    Here is a challenge. If PL can do it - surely CODE is better than that. Instead the usual; open up the word document and changing the names around. Publish a complete transaction and bookkeep of CODE's financials. What do sponsors get for their isk other than "same ole, same ole".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, James 315 did not craft the Code for your amusement but rather for your salvation. If that's tedious for you, I'm afraid that is your problem; the New Order will keep winning despite your lack of gratitude.

      Delete
    2. @Anon 2:32

      Haven't you seen? James keeps a complete log of his finances in the upper left-hand corner of the Minerbumping.com website. Also, James's expenses are so low because all he needs to purchase are small secure containers, which cost like 100k isk or something and as a result, his profit-to-expense ratio is something in the neighborhood of 52,000,000,000%, which is far better than anyone has ever done "ice mining."

      Also, all the money that James raises in his business, (and it IS a business, as he has stated in the beginning paragraph of the New Halaima Code of Conduct, which you would know if you'd read the Code,) belongs to him. He is not required to account for his finances, nor do we really care what he does with the isk. We give to him freely because he is the most faithful person that exists in EVE, having updated his followers daily- with not a single day off in over two years. And because it mostly.. just feels good to give money to James.

      You should try it by purchasing a permit.

      Delete
    3. Yet another carebear, showing that money is all he cares about by focusing on the finances of the New Order and missing the point of what it is we do, and what we're all about. Let go of your obsession with wealth, anon@2:32. You'll be happier for it.

      Delete
  7. Let's see the book keeping.
    The amount of money you gain from issuing permits must be miniscule compared to your donations. Just one billion isk would kit out a lot of gank ships.
    Do the shareholders get a cut of the loot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always a slave to ISK per hour, so much so that you have forgotten about fun per hour.

      No one cares. Money flows, tears flow harder, explosions every moment of every day. Shareholders get the simple pleasure of knowing they took part in something greater then themselves.

      Delete
    2. I so agree.
      When I am in high sec to gank, I lose money every time. I have never been reimbursed for my gank ships, never lament time I could be spending making isk, and will often hand out ships I assembled on my own dime to anyone that wants to join me in a kill.
      It's about making Eve a better game, a more interesting place to spend time in.

      Delete
    3. I donate into the New Order Treasury now knowing that if I ever fall onto hard times and am unable to provide my own ships, the fund will be there to keep me shipped in Catalysts and able to enforce The Code.

      Though that day may never come, I can provide that same security to my friends that contribute to the content of this Blog. And investment in people and content is the best way to spend your isk.

      Delete
  8. honestly the books dont matter, who cares if the top brass is skimming off the top so long as the catalysts keep flowing the tears will flow. you AG types are always so concerned about the isk and have no fun playing the game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And what exactly is the problem with this? I will play how I want to play...piss on the code and you code monkeys...,

      Delete
    2. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. What you are not allowed to do is "play the game how you want to play." The New Order of Highsec is the democratically-established ruling organization of Highsec for over two years now. And if you choose not to follow the Code and purchase a permit, you choose the life of losing expensive ships, losing money, and not being able to mine, and you will probably quit EVE in frustration, with tears streaming down your cheeks. Which is awesome from our standpoint; it provides us content and entertainment, and it also rids us of one more low-quality person and improves the EVE Community as a whole.

      Delete
    3. And that is where the fallacy of the code starts,,,a single individual, in this case the bufoon of highsec, can't on his own decide to use everyone's proxies (which was done without permission in highsec dwellers), vote himself into a just made up position a still have it be Democratic, this was a Coup D'stat by the bufoon of highsec...

      Delete
    4. ,,, -> ...
      bufoon -> buffoon
      a -> and
      Coup D'stat -> coup d'etat

      It's hard to take you seriously, miner, when you don't even take yourself seriously enough to proofread what you write.

      Delete
    5. Ah, but you see the brilliance: James 315 DID decide, on his own, to use everyone's proxies to vote himself Supreme Protector. That was a thing that happened. To say that he "can't" do that is absurd.. because he DID do exactly that.

      Now granted, James really had no choice, and the decision to vote himself in unanimously via proxy was not a decision he undertook lightly. Being Saviour of Highsec, everyone else was, comparatively, completely underqualified to handle the rigors of the position. So naturally, James was practically forced to ascend to that role.

      Delete
    6. I did not say that, your arrogance is showing again, I said that it was not democratic what he did is set up a unilateral dictatorship...since that point in time we have had a circus of clowns and code monkeys trying to run a region of space that is really not theirs to run, that is why you can't seem to crush the rebellion, we see through your fallacy and respond to you fools in the manner you deserve...

      Delete
    7. I guess you are right, in that not offering anyone a choice could possibly (in some countries, I guess) be seen as dictatorial, but regardless, the elections happened, and they are over. The results were fairly tallied, and James 315 won, fair and square. I suppose that anyone else who could have met the demanding qualifications could have ran, but don't blame the New Order that nobody else stepped up.

      And as far as "not crushing the rebellion?" There have been many rebellions during James 315's rule of Highsec, and every one of them have ended the same way, in defeat, with the miners becoming Code-Compliant or becoming Agents of the New Order. We even have a "Kills of the Week" weekly article that notes the most important enforcement actions that we take against non-compliance. We agree that miners are an invariably stubborn lot, but The New Order is patient, and we know, that someday, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the next day, but one day, all of Highsec will be Code-Compliant. We are content to take as long as it takes to realize James 315's vision.

      Delete
    8. Some joke...there is nothing to tally in a Coup, and nothing you say proves to me the clown patrol you call the new order is in control...the highsec I operate in belongs to the four main Empires and their affiliates...not to you bunch of pirates...or the bufoon on highsec...

      Delete
    9. You keep calling the Ascension of the Father of the New Order and Saviour of Highsec James 315 to the post of Supreme Protector a coup d'etat, but I fail to understand how it was such. As far as I understand, in a coup, the coup organizers militarily overthrow the established powers and take control, yet that isn't what happened when the New Order of Highsec was born.

      James 315 did not come to power militarily. His power was gained popularly through the electorate, and whether or not you think elections are a "fair" way to choose leaders is not up for discussion. I know hundreds of people that think elections are inherently unfair, and yet, we use them s because it's the "most perfect" system of choosing a Supreme Protector. Sure, elections have irregularities, as they're not completely perfect. But, unlike you, I think they sure as hell beat someone coming to your door and kicking it in and telling you what to do.

      Remember, nobody forces you to follow the Code. However, if you don't, you will suffer the consequences for doing so. Just like in all democratic countries.

      Delete
    10. You keep trying to put a democratic spin on the actions of a usurper, one buffoon made the decision to take control...it was an electorate of one. Which does make it a coup, he did attempt to sieze power, he used deciet and one hell of PR spin...but I am still free and refuse to follow your false leader/prophet...piss on the code, you code monkeys and the buffoon...

      Delete
    11. And you keep on trying to tell me that a democratically-elected leader is a usurper, a tyrant, a dictator, that took power in a so-called "coup." Which is all completely false, but not unexpected coming from a non-compliant. If he really did take power in a coup, as you state, then from whom did he "take" the power from? Whom did James 315 displace to become the Supreme Protector of Highsec?

      Anything you respond with will be incorrect, so I will go ahead and act as your proxy in registering your agreement. Therefore it is agreed between us both that James 315 did not come to power in a coup, and that the Supreme Protector was, in fact democratically elected.

      I'm glad we had this talk. By having conversations like this, we can show the universe that the New Order and its agents can have civilized discussions and come to identical conclusions.

      Delete
    12. If you say so...But the conclusion I came to is that james315 is a buffoon, his followers are clowns, and the code is worthless...it maybe, in a pinch could be used as a substitute for toilet paper...

      Delete
  9. Lol you fuckers think we play by your rules! After we spank you so often trying to teach you their different here!

    Whiiiine 'open the books" How about Fuck off, sort your own shit out were doing fine without your input!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Last time I checked, pretending to be a CCP employee ingame is a permaban offense.

    --------
    Mike Adoulin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Correct. RL racism is a ban-able offense. RL threats are ban-able. Pretending to be a CCP representative is ban-able. Botting is ban-able.
      In other words, this guy should be considered an enemy to the entire game, and banned from playing.
      Once again, we are exposed to the most common type of player behind the care bear character...a real life racist and coward.
      That other miners come to the defense of these people only indicts them as being of a like mindset, worthy of in-game destruction at every possible opportunity.

      Delete
    2. You get it. I don't support James and the CODE because I gank or like griefing or I'm a sociopath. I support because Agents blow up other folks' internet space pixels (in a game in which blowing up other folks space pixels is the central point), they are invariably polite, they try to add a new twist to the game, James posts the hilarious interactions on these pages, but they are invariably met with the worst cry-baby, hate-filled, racist responses. I have a 10 year old I have begun to allow short periods of online play. Who do I want him to model his behavior after? The polite guys doing new stuff, working within the game's mechanics, or the cursing, whining, non-compliant miners? Do I want him to be the kind of player who has fun and can take a loss, or the one who lies again and again, threatenting to quit at the first sign of conflict? No brainer, CODE (as always) wins.

      Delete
  11. How out of touch with reality must one be to assume that a character's name (a historical figure at that) is somehow indicative of the player's actual race or religion?
    Just as they cannot fathom role playing...in a role playing game no less, and assume that Agents are actual cult members that worship James 315, instead of...role playing a character.
    Amarr is one of the most commonly chosen races for characters- I suppose that makes roughly 1/4 of all Eve players actual religious zealots that embrace slavery as an institution?
    Care bears simply need to grow up. Better yet, go away. Find some other game where cowardice and lack of skill are considered virtues. Because in Eve, you are very much the lowest rung of society- mostly there to provide a chew toy for CODE's hounds of war.

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh smerz!
    he wrote CCP Agent with a smiley...
    -)
    codies should grow a brain, but then they would stop being codies.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I see stacmons becoming a hive of CODE activity!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anon 6:12 Dec23
    honestly the books dont matter, who cares if the top brass is skimming off the top

    Really? So you are posting about isk per hour and how Carebears are all about the isk and the top brass are lining their own pockets. Yet you say CODE don't care about isk.
    Bunch of hypocrites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please cry more, I'm nearly finished!

      Delete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.