Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Legend of Katsu Hinken, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Tisiphone Dira offered mining permits for sale in Hek local, interrupting Katsu Hinken's questions about how to build ships. This sparked a feud between the two. Katsu was very upset, but eventually Tisiphone persuaded him to help gank a miner in a Hek asteroid belt. Then, at the critical moment, Katsu betrayed his gracious host.


Katsu's gank Maller opened fire on Tisiphone's scout alt, rather than the miner. Tisiphone couldn't believe the treachery. Katsu relished the prospect of getting revenge on the person who'd interrupted him in local.


Tisiphone's alt's shields melted in the face of the onslaught. Remember, Katsu's Maller dealt 14,900 damage per second. Tisiphone knew the math was against her. Only by absolute faith in the Code was she able to keep her resolve.


Incredibly, Katsu only got her down to half shields before CONCORD stepped in. Tisiphone's faith in the Code was rewarded with yet another victory.


Our Agent scolded the rebellious carebear for his lies and deception. Katsu had been given the perfect opportunity to gank a miner, but he'd thrown it all away in favor of a senseless defeat. What a pity.


There was no more point in keeping up the fa├žade. Katsu removed his mask and delivered a tirade against the Code. He was so caught up in the moment that he temporarily forgot that he'd just been defeated.


The logical thing would've been for Katsu to say "gf, I'll obey the Code now." Instead, Katsu made excuse after excuse.


Katsu sputtered nonsense about the tables being turned, or playing the hand you're dealt, or something like that.


Out of steam and out of Mallers, Katsu saw no more point in the convo. Tisiphone extended the hand of friendship again and instructed Katsu in the ways of the Code.


Katsu turned out to be a sore loser. Who would have guessed? There's so little sportsmanship among the carebears of highsec.


Tisiphone's victory in Hek was a decisive one. Our Agents' right to use local as a place to sell mining permits was upheld. Katsu's own ideology, fueled by conspiracy theories, rage, and poorly calculated DPS, was tested and proven bankrupt. Should CCP commemorate this battle by placing a monument to Tisiphone Dira in Hek? Yeah, they probably should.

44 comments:

  1. Katsu - deep fried pig - how apt.

    Oh and Code always wins.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieDecember 17, 2014 at 11:11 PM

      And apparently "Hinken" means to walk with a limp in German and Dutch. After getting fried hes limping away perhaps?

      Delete
    2. its also a type of meat wich is pretty good

      Delete
    3. thats schinken, you pronounce it shinken.

      Delete
  2. Can't wait for part 4 when Tisi catches Katsu in a mission boat and activates the killright

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You only get a kill right if your ship dies. Comes from the name: kill right. Get it? No? Well, you don't sound very bright.

      Delete
    2. Yeah. Nah. If someone illegally attacks you in Highsec, you get the right to attack them back with impunity at a time of your choosing. You have the right to kill them. Kill right.

      Now, quickly think of a way to write your post off as a troll and save face.

      Delete
    3. lol, what a epic fail fact anon 3:59. Try again.

      Delete
    4. This is always the best part of these kinds of stories. I love the poetic justice of the nerfs demanded by carebears coming back to bite them in the wallet.

      Always proves that you can't patch stupid.

      Delete
    5. Always funny to see failbears like anon 3:59 displaying their ignorance of high sec mechanics

      Delete
  3. So glad to hear this story had a happy ending! The Honest Agent of the New Order wins, the lying carebear dies, crawling back into his fetid hole muttering curses, defeated.

    For those of you keeping score, the score is:
    New Order: 65,736
    Carebears: 0

    ReplyDelete
  4. CODE has absolutely quality people in it and supporting it. What do the carebears have? Veers! lmao

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. veers has gone dark, some say he is brainstorming his next masterfully awful highsec suggestion, others suggest his mom pulled the plug on the internet. even one rumor on redit has him going full out in bonus room singing god bless america. the eve world awaits what this infamous troll will do next.

      Delete
    2. Ha! Veers is waiting for some decent content rather than the current garbage.

      Delete
    3. As always, Beers Veldspar waits for others to create content instead of creating his own. Sloth is just one of the many vices of carebearism.

      Delete
    4. When Veers Belvar says
      "I got nothing but garbage,"
      Know the Code has won.

      Delete
  5. Tisi must have been shield tanked like a boss to withstand that much DPS...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tisi was code tanking, thats all what you need to withstand 14k dps

      Delete
    2. That's all you *can* withstand 14k dps with.

      Delete
  6. "There's so little sportsmanship among the carebears of highsec."
    Sportsmanship to kill miners and other who don't pose a threat?
    Don't really think that's true sportsmanship at all but since it's Code. we are talking about they probably belive in that sort of sportsmanship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone being given equal opportunity and given their GFs and respect IS sportsmanship. Not sure why you're confused.

      Delete
    2. I don't think you actually understand the threat posed by the carebears, anon. Read "The Manifesto II" to get a better understanding.

      Delete
  7. Code agents don't deserve the truth, nor do they deserve resptect...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do they deserve proper spelling? resptect?????

      Delete
  8. This care bear learned valuable lessons about Eve courtesy of an Agent. He learned the value of engaging with other players. He learned the mechanics of a suicide gank and CONCORD response times. Most importantly, he learned that the CODE makes an Agent invincible.
    You're welcome, Mr Care Bear. You should show proper appreciation for being duly educated by purchasing a mining permit for only 10 mil isk.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What??? Buy something from a criminal??? You code monkeys really are funny...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Except we're not criminals - we are the sov holders of highsec and as such it is our place to set the rules. Don't like it? Bring enough DPS to take our sov away from us.

      Delete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://imgur.com/r0Pbvj4

    For those code agents wanting to try out a 14900 dps gank maller. I'm sure that in more capable hands it will be a powerful weapon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Breathtaking. Now that our agents have reverse engineered this terror-weapon, surely the carebears will capitulate within the fortnight.

      Delete
  12. Beam lasers with gamma, no heatsinks. Will give it a try!

    ReplyDelete
  13. When Tisi isn't wrecking people in Hek local she's wrecking me in corp chat. I'm pretty sure it's the root cause of my problem with the thrasher ganking set :)

    gf Katsu you magnificent bastard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL jon i thought your problem with ALL the gankers was you whiteknighting your internet girlfriends and kcking people from mb chan when they asked you to.

      Delete
    2. Lamont Von Gankenheim is my one and only.

      Delete
  14. "...before CONCORD stepped in..."
    lol, there goes your LIE about you suckers being -10 all the time!
    How do you tell a codie is lying? When he opens his moputh or starts typing...
    sad bunch of pissers to unskilled to be in lowsec...
    or to stupid for gate camps

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Concord don't care about pilots being -10
      Faction police care and will chase -10 pilots around, but they can be tanked and you are allowed to evade them

      Delete
    2. You have let your anger cloud your reasoning anon1020. The character fired upon was a scout. Scouts may never fire guns in anger or accumulate kill rights on themselves, but they are very important enforcers of the Code nonetheless.

      Delete
    3. What kind of idiot would use -10 as a scout?

      Delete
    4. Anon @ 10:20PM

      http://www.totootwo.com/

      There, I helped you :P

      Delete
  15. The CODE will fall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The CODE will fall upon the carebears, bringing retribution and reconciliation.

      There, Anon 7:21 PM; finished the sentence for you.

      Delete
    2. @Sasha - your version makes much more sense. I guess Anonymous McChickenshit went AFK part way through typing. Isn't AFK posting a violation of the Code?

      Delete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.