Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Game Said So

Which side of a stargate is more dangerous: The side in highsec, or the side in lowsec? If you don't own a New Order permit and scrupulously obey the Code, the answer might surprise you. Just ask shawn feranizo.


Agents PV Rock and Arden Elenduil detected a sextuple anti-tanked industrial traveling through my territory. Unexpectedly, shawn feranizo's industrial ship veered from the typical trade route and parked itself at a stargate leading to lowsec. PV Rock, who was evading the faction police in his Thrasher, had to make a split-second decision. It was an easy choice to make: He trusted the Code and opened fire. Rather than jumping through the gate to lowsec, shawn tried to initiate warp and retreat further into the warm bosom of highsec. But he was already doomed.


The anti-tanked Bestower contained a vast library of blueprints. There were hundreds of blueprint copies, valued on zKillboard at 5.6 billion isk. The zKillboard mail was bugged; the ship also carried dozens of BPOs, none of which were listed there. Evepraisal, which lists all the copies and originals, was unable to set a value for most of the loot. One might estimate 10-20 billion isk for all the cargo. shawn's negligence was breathtaking.
PV Rock > o/
PV Rock > That really was a good runabout :)
PV Rock > Most excitement I've had in a while, how about you?
shawn feranizo > i will pay you 1 billion for it back
shawn feranizo > you can keep all the copies even the capitals
The carebear opened up a convo and begged for the return of the BPOs. He was willing to let PV keep the hundreds of capital blueprint copies, themselves worth billions of isk. Of course, what shawn was willing to let PV keep was irrelevant; our Agent could keep whatever he wanted.
PV Rock > Hmm.
PV Rock > Blueprints ARE hard to shift...
PV Rock > Still... I think you could make it 2b
shawn feranizo > 1 billion is all i have everything else was in those blueprints i will give you evrything in my wallet
PV Rock > Hmm surely you had more or you wouldn't be able to manufacture any of them
shawn feranizo > no that is it thats all i have
shawn feranizo > i will send you my api key if you want that is all i have
In exchange for the return of the BPOs, shawn would give PV Rock everything else he had, which was only the cash in his wallet, about 1 billion isk.
PV Rock > Well okay you know what, I had my excitement and a damn good kill, 1b I can live with, that's more than I normally get out of any kill
PV Rock > I hate selling blueprints anyway.
shawn feranizo > ok where would you like to meet
shawn feranizo > or do you want to contract them
PV Rock > Well I guess I could trade them
PV Rock > I'd prefer not to shift this stuff, see where that got you, haha
shawn feranizo > I was moving it to my corps base i didn't really have a choice
Our hero didn't bother with the API; he trusted shawn. He arranged to meet the carebear and trade the freight container of BPOs for the money.
shawn feranizo > ok i am there
PV Rock > Okay, just the originals
shawn feranizo > yes
PV Rock > Please put the billion in so I can verify the amount first thing
PV Rock > Thank you
PV Rock > Your bpos, sir
shawn feranizo > thank you you are a life saver
The trade only took a few seconds, and shawn went on his way, closing the convo.
PV Rock > Hi, back again so soon?
shawn feranizo > sieriously
shawn feranizo > seriously
shawn feranizo > like all that wasn't enough
shawn feranizo > all of thosecopies and billion isk wasn't enough
PV Rock > I actually didn't get the originals, they were destroyed in the wreck ;)
In fact, the trade wasn't quite what shawn expected. PV did give him all the BPOs he had from the wreck, which was zero. This wasn't his fault, but the Loot Fairy's. Fate had spoken against shawn and condemned him.
shawn feranizo > so you lied the whole time
shawn feranizo > and made me give you evrything i had
PV Rock > I only lied a little, I have a policy of keeping my lies to the minimum required by the situation
shawn feranizo > what by taking all i have saved up and worked for
PV Rock > Well the decision to let it go so easily was yours
shawn feranizo > i didn't have a choice you took it from me when you blew me up in high sec where i am supposed to be safe
shawn accepted no responsibility whatsoever for anything that had transpired. He didn't see anything wrong with putting all his possessions into an anti-tanked industrial ship and idling in highsec. He didn't care about the New Order or its Code. He saw no need to buy a mining permit or respect James 315's vision of highsec. Nor did he think he was to blame for making a ridiculous trade. Everything was someone else's fault. And highsec is "supposed to be safe".
PV Rock > Who said you're supposed to be safe in highsec? That man was a damned liar.
shawn feranizo > the game
There it was, the confession. shawn belonged to a generation of carebears that has grown up with the belief that highsec is intended to be 100% safe. They've taken that lesson from countless carebear apologists and the endless series of nerfs implemented by CCP to stop highsec aggression. "The game" says there's no danger in highsec.
PV Rock > No, I don't believe that it says anywhere in EVE that highsec is safe
PV Rock > In fact in CCP's own guides for new players it is made explicitly clear that no space is safe
shawn feranizo > so what is the point of the concord
shawn feranizo > to just sit around stations and gates with their dicks in their hands
PV Rock > CONCORD are there to punish, not the protect
shawn feranizo > and people are suppose to show compassion
PV Rock > I am, I'm explaining what you did wrong
Despite the wicked influences of highsec carebears who beg for One More Nerf™, highsec is not yet 100% safe. Not while the New Order still stands. Not while the Saviour of Highsec still speaks.
PV Rock > You were hauling very dangerously and... oh right, how did I forget to mention this!
PV Rock > You weren't following the New Halaima Code of Conduct
PV Rock > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
PV Rock > By far the most helpful document, don't mind that new player FAQ
shawn feranizo > i wasn't a miner
PV Rock > The Code is not just for miners, it for all highsec residents
shawn feranizo > so you prey on the weak this is harassment
The heroic Agent tried to open shawn's eyes to the truth. shawn glanced at the Code, but wasn't yet persuaded. He was still thinking about his lost isk, instead of focusing on the treasure of wisdom he had right in front of him.
PV Rock > The strong preying on the weak is core EVE gameplay, and it takes place in all systems in New Eden
shawn feranizo > the weak allow you to prey because they build everything you use
shawn feranizo > and they don't get any gratitude for doing so
shawn feranizo > but just having a small portion of space where they are safe
shawn feranizo > can you at least find some kindness in your heart and at least give me back 500million or 250million
PV Rock > No, it is a greater kindness to let the lesson sting and teach you important facts about EVE
shawn feranizo > wow
shawn feranizo > just wow
shawn shrugged off the wisdom and asked for more money. It was the only thing in EVE he cared about.
PV Rock > All you had to do to live was take that lowsec gate once I opened fire
PV Rock > Yet you tried to warp instead, why was that?
shawn feranizo > i know but i also know because i live in the area that there is often a gate camp the reason I stopped at the gate
shawn feranizo > to ask my alliance members if it was safe
PV Rock > You had the choice of certain death or possible death and you chose certain death
shawn feranizo > i wasn't even paying attention until it was far to late
PV Rock > Really? I was quite sure you were well aware you were being followed. I suppoes I overestimated you
shawn feranizo > no most of the way i wasnt there just clicked warp and went and did something
With little prompting, the carebear made a full confession of guilt. Every single thing he owned in EVE had been packed into his tissue-tanked Bestower... And he didn't even bother to stay at his keyboard to watch it!
PV Rock > Look on the bright side, you have a clean slate now
shawn feranizo > well Fuck you and your stupid mustache i am out
Agent PV Rock

Poetically, the carebear corp that taught shawn all the wrong lessons is called Shifting Sands Trader Cartel. The Agent who taught him the right way to play the game is named PV Rock. Everyone who lives in highsec is forced to make the same decision: Will you build your future in EVE upon a foundation of Shifting Sands, or will you build it upon a Rock?

29 comments:

  1. Good lesson indeed. Live is hard out of the CODE.

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  2. What a fucking idiot. He could use a warpstabbed interceptor or a cloaky ship at least for the originals. I have never felt so infuriatedafter reading a minerbumping post.

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  3. PV Rock looks like he is related to Babatunde B Babatunde. Is he?

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  4. "PV Rock > I only lied a little, I have a policy of keeping my lies to the minimum required by the situation"

    Still laughing. Well done, agent PV Rock!

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    Replies
    1. This elicited an out-loud laugh from me as well. I am adding that to my repertoire.

      Delete
  5. Free of his carebear chains, he may yet find salvation.

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  6. This all could of been prevented with a little effort and thought. The lesson taught was to the point and life saving. Very well done. Too bad it won't take.
    Congratulations Mr. Rock on you bonus! Well earned and deserved.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I see Shawn's point there is no need to respect the buffoon's vision, the buffoon himself or the new order, you are all just a bunch of arrogant criminals....

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    Replies
    1. I fail to see how the new order is the buffoon, at least in this situation.

      Delete
    2. spaceship blew up spaceship. No buffoons were harmed.

      Delete
  8. This is exactly what Eve is about and what makes me love this game.

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  9. Shifting Sands isn't a carebear corp they do more lowsec pvp than code does. Very bot aspirant of James to be too lazy to do research.

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    Replies
    1. He sure did act like a carebear though. It doesn't say that much for his Corp either as it's likely that sort of carebear mentality is acceptable within SSTC.

      Delete
    2. "they do more lowsec pvp than code does"

      They do more low sec PvP than the New Order of *High sec*? In other breaking news, fish do more swimming than mountain goats. Experts are baffled.

      Delete
  10. it's good for the economy when 20-30bil in BP's just go pop, basically econ 101.

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  11. Stupid? That's a magnificent moustache, tied with Reginald Poppycock's for excellence.

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  12. Best part about this. I fully suport code. I even ganked with code. in the past. My current corp is the one that this guy is in. and im laughing my ass off

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    Replies
    1. It sounds like you have exciting awoxing opportunities available to you! Contact me in-game if you would like help pursuing them.

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    2. https://zkillboard.com/kill/43050236/

      Idiot just got concorded in same system in 50mill omen. 2 serp armor mods too. ??

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    3. 290xanaots I have done this in the past in the name of CODE. I have been part of you in the past before. I have hung my Agents badge in retirement. But Trust me when I say, I want to do it again So so badly! The Ganking I mean. Awoxing is meeeh..

      Delete
  13. I have shown the merciful side of CODE at times. I even returned loot to a hauler once simply for coming to me in good faith (and giving me a pile of isk to donate to CODE), and was calm and respectful in our exchange. I saw the potential for a good Eve player lurking within that guy, and wielded compassion with the same elite level skill as I had wielded anti-matter. A couple weeks later that player joined me in a small gang of gankers introducing AFK miners to the cold vacuum of space. A total and complete victory for the CODE if ever there was one.

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    Replies
    1. yes but Veers would object to your treatment of new players

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    2. Nah, the griefers just love new players. Check out this killmail and reimbursement request I got. https://zkillboard.com/kill/42826563/

      FW: Your Venture loss
      From: Beretta Thiesant
      Sent: 2014.12.14 18:21
      To: Veers Belvar,

      Thank you for the reimbursment...

      Beretta

      --------------------------------
      Your Venture loss
      From: Major Sniper
      Sent: 2014.12.03 23:04
      To: Beretta Thiesant, Feyd Rautha Harkonnen,

      Hi there Beretta Thiesant
      Thank you so much for your visiting us here and wish to send a mail regarding the recent loss of your Venture.

      This was done in conjunction with Veers Belvar. Please feel free to mail him or contact him directly for reimbursement of your recent loss. He will be happy to repay you for your losses and time. Just copy this link to your loss for him to pay you out in full.

      Kill: Beretta Thiesant (Venture)

      Kindest Regards

      Major Sniper



      Elite PvP at it's finest!

      Delete
  14. You're just a bunch of pussies too scared to do real pvp in nullsec. Quit going after nobodies afk-mining in highsec.

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    Replies
    1. That's telling them!
      I'm sure CODE. will have a meeting to discuss your suggestion, and take the appropriate steps to comply.

      LOL.

      Delete
    2. Dear Mr Penis,

      You could always come to high sec and hunt us down yourself. You sound like a carebear, always expecting others to make an effort instead of yourself.

      Delete

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