Friday, December 5, 2014

Anti-Ganking to the Rescue

Agent Shnjago was busy prosecuting the war against Star to Star Inc, which was known to harbor bot-aspirants.


Our hero spotted a number of Star to Star Inc's Mobile Tractor Units in the Endrulf system. Miners do not have a right to hold property in highsec without my permission, so Shnjago destroyed them.


The former owner of the MTUs was none other than shaneduce. Previously, we saw him attempt to recruit allies for his wardec in the Anti-Ganking channel. The effort was unsuccessful, as none of the Anti-Gankers were interested in fighting the New Order. We're too powerful.


shaneduce has been playing EVE for only four years. As a new player, he was ill-equipped to prevent the destruction of his MTUs. He returned to the Anti-Ganking channel once more. A fellow rebel named Leah Shepard expressed an interest in killing our Agent, but she was too far away. shaneduce assured her that our Agent was incapable of fighting anything but a miner.


shaneduce continued his efforts. The rebels weren't interested in fighting a New Order Agent, even if paid to do so. It appeared Anti-Ganking wasn't so opposed to ganking, after all.


...But then things turned in shaneduce's favor. Leah Shepard, a mighty battleship pilot, changed her mind. She was willing to travel the 16 jumps to put a stop to Agent Shnjago. The only question was, would Shnjago still be there when Leah finally arrived?


As Leah prepared her battleship for the journey, she was already thinking of how to celebrate her victory. She picked out some war music. shaneduce cheered at the prospect of salvation.


Meanwhile, Shnjago was busy destroying more MTUs. He systematically cleansed each asteroid belt. Leah Shepard's battleship drew closer and closer to the system.


Leah entered the system in a Hyperion-class battleship. At first she seemed reluctant to engage Shnjago. Then he started chatting her up in local, where shaneduce was expectantly awaiting news of Shnjago's demise. Leah agreed to a duel. The New Order only shoots ships that can't shoot back, she knew.


It was a costly mistake. She'd forgotten the first lesson every highsec carebear should learn: The CODE always wins. Always.


In the end, Leah's blaster rail miner missile Hyperion was no match for the power of the Code. Agent Shnjago defeated her with ease.


Prior to the duel, Leah's bio consisted of a personal attack against yours truly, someone she'd never met. After the duel, she changed her tune:


The success of the New Order was undeniable. Having been bested in an honourable 1v1, Leah had no choice but to give us some grudging props.


shaneduce's corp, Star to Star Inc, had no choice but to admit defeat in the face of the New Order juggernaut. Even Anti-Ganking's battleship pilots were no match for our Agents. All the stuff shaneduce had been told about the New Order only shooting defenseless mining ships--it turned out to be a lie. He saw the truth for himself. So he quit the corp. Star to Star Inc went inactive. "The star has died," proclaimed the corp description.


Leah Shepard changed her mind yet again. The New Order posed a threat to the entire EVE economy. She retracted her props and elaborated on her hatred. Once upon a time, EVE players used their bios as a space to talk about themselves or provide a handy list of NPC damage types. Today, the bio is chiefly used by highsec players to express their attitude about me and the Code. One day, the glory of the New Order will entirely consume every highsec player's thoughts at all times. We've earned it!

23 comments:

  1. Poor little hyperion. It needed to be put down :(. Such an inconsiderate owner to treat it so poorly

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    Replies
    1. Yes, dat Hyperion fit....It makes me sad :(

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    2. "Killlll.... meeeeee..... *rattling breath*" ~That Hyperion

      The Hyperion is the pinnacle of blasterboat technology. That it was twisted into a mining/exploration/missile/structure+armor tanked monstrosity is a crime.

      Every ship deserves a chance. #YesAllHypers

      Delete
  2. So quite CODE, quite CODE indeed.

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  3. I see your another agent down, another victim of loyals raging? Lol! Getting smaller by the day!

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  4. Seems they only go for easy targets or valuable targets, example, they only kill skiffs if they are in bot fleets and close together so they can be easily smart bombed, code doesn't seem to care about killing harder targets unless they are poorly fitted. I mine in a tanked skiff and not once has code done crap it, i go out in my mack (also tanked) and i get a bunch of code people thinking i'm an easy target, they bring 2-4 cats.... and what do you know, they can't gank me, honestly if people would give up yeild for tank code would be useless except in wardecs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak.
      - Sun Tzu

      Anonymous 8:17 PM, you do not comprehend the art of war, therefore carebears will always lose and the Code will always win.

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    2. Anon 8:17 you know that if miners give up yield for tank that is CODE winning, right?

      Delete
  5. LOL. S2S's CEO told me he liked the CODE war because his corp members wanted to learn PVP. Guess they learned alright.

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  6. I LOL'd. I guess somehow CODE. cheated seeing as how they can't fight ships that can fire back.

    It's always funny to see carebears fly the biggest pew pew ships they can with zero knowledge on the art of fitting. They always think bigger is better.

    Also, that mining laser! The carebear can't stand the thought of being unable to earn some quick isk at any time. Kinda like the thought of going out in public without any pants...

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  7. What a wonderful read. This really made my day. Agent Shnjago, well done :) This is a example of "anti-ganking" at their finest lol :)

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  8. Anti-ganking might just be designated a protected species by CCP to keep them from going extinct after looking at that fit.

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  9. I love every bit of that Hyperion

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  10. *looks at the Hyperion*
    *screams for about 5 minutes*
    *breaks out the vodka*

    Chribba wept, THAT HYP.

    0_o

    ----Mike Adoulin

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    Replies
    1. jesus christ it really is the worst hyperion fit possible I was going to say "at least it isn't dual tanked" but then I saw the fucking structure repper (she probably uses it so she doesn't have to dock up to pay repair costs :( )

      and what's that civilian relic analyzer doing there? does she run hisec sites in this thing? did she think it was a cool looking module?

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  11. Reminds me of the time that marmite lost the war to Code and started complaining about wardec mechanics.

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  12. Three weapon types, a mining laser, relic analyzer, triple tanked and dual repped, empty high slot, empty low slot, empty rig........

    That is the greatest battleship fitting I have ever seen.

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  13. I had a blood vessel burst behind my eye after seeing that fit...

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  14. Holy hell
    That fit
    My head
    Owww

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  15. Holy hell
    The arrogance
    My head
    Owww

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  16. Civilian Relic Analyzer doesn't work outside of the career tutorials.

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  17. Look like a mission runner who didn't have time to refit properly...
    BTW it seems you are running out of material jamesyboy if you are posting something from almost a month ago.

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