Saturday, December 27, 2014

Ocean's Zero, Part 1

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Ganking channel...
Alexis Mayfield > heh, gorila vengaza is now a member of the conference elite
JTClone Ares > yes
JTClone Ares > dont worry
JTClone Ares > you will be hearing the entire story once I talk with a friend
JTClone Ares > he owns a blog so
Alexis Mayfield > ... you mean james 315?
JTClone Ares > no
JTClone Ares > not that faggot
The big story this Christmas was rebel leader Gorila Vengaza's stunning decision to join the New Order and give our Agents temporary--but glorious--control of the Anti-Ganking channel. However, that was not the only Christmas miracle to take place. At the same time Gorila was making his move, another rebel leader, JTClone Ares, was at the center of his own story.

JTClone Ares got his start as the CEO of a highsec mining fail-corp called Damned Defeat. He encouraged new EVE players to concentrate entirely on mining. Disastrously, he also encouraged them to disobey the Code. Before long, New Order Agents (and future martyrs) Fighter Jets GuitarSolo and Jerry Rin awoxed Damned Defeat.

Even after learning that awoxers were in corp and slaughtering his miners, JTClone ignored the attacks. He simply told the awoxers not to kill his corp members. Then JTClone announced he was going AFK so he could watch "Godzilla" at a local movie theater. Incredibly, he even told the miners to keep mining while he was away. The miners followed their leader's advice and kept getting killed. When JTClone returned, he was outraged, but somehow got tricked into giving control of all Damned Defeat corp stock to our Agents. JTClone quit in a huff.

JTClone's hatred toward the New Order grew. He created new corporations, each one a failure. Now a fanatic anti-Order rebel, he began recording "inspirational" speeches against the Code.

After each defeat, JTClone reinvented himself and took advantage of more newbies who were unfamiliar with his previous antics. JTClone added a quote from Albert Einstein to his bio. To clarify, JTClone thinks of himself as the great spirit, and the New Order as the mediocre minds. (This often confuses those with knowledge of JTClone's past.)

Like TDD Dominaters, JTClone benefited from waves of new EVE players who didn't read MinerBumping and simply wanted a newbie-friendly corp to join. He persuaded dozens of newbies to join his corp. With a new flock of miners at his beck and call, JTClone became one of the most well known leaders of the anti-Order resistance movement. He created an alliance, The Clone Republic, and vowed to one day figure out how to stop the New Order.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > o/
JTClone Ares > o/
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I've seen you around before in anti-ganking and such
JTClone Ares > yeah
JTClone Ares > i tend to get around when i am in the mood
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > my friends and I have been working on a few plans against CODE., but we could use a bit of backup when the time comes
JTClone Ares > ah so allies?
Two days before Christmas, JTClone was approached by a pair of his fellow anti-Order rebels. Their names were TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet and Captain Rick Tyson. They expressed an interest in joining the growing ranks of The Clone Republic alliance.
JTClone Ares > normally what ends up happening is that you arent the first corp that has asked to merge with my corp
JTClone Ares > I will treat everyone in my corp the same and everyone has a say but i do have the final say in almost anything of a large scale design
JTClone Ares > we dont do solo teamwork and we do decided to do fleet ops when everyone is online
JTClone Ares > or try to get 2+ man fleets
JTClone explained that his alliance wasn't for a bunch of solo miners. He specialized in fleet ops. Fleets with two or even more members! Clearly, the man was building an army.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > perhaps i should tell you a bit about what we're working on so that you can judge for yourself if you think we're a good fit
JTClone Ares > np
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > We're running agents within CODE that have access to high level info and we're working on a plan to disband the alliance entirely
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > you can't tell anybody
JTClone Ares > no worries
JTClone Ares > i tend to keep the info to myself
TheInternet revealed a shocking secret: He had a high-level spy in the ranks of the New Order. If all went according to the rebels' plan, the New Order would be in great peril.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we were hoping to work with a high profile invididual such as yourself, as part of the overall plan that we're working on will likely require that, given one of the likely contingencies
JTClone Ares > okay
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I hope to secure a relationship with somebody like you well in advance of something like that becoming necessary
Captain Rick Tyson > we'll need a big name to spearhead it. it will draw people in in the end, right?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i think we've got a damm good shot here
The rebels were hoping to enlist JTClone, because he's an anti-Order celebrity. It was the moment JTClone had been waiting for. All rebels hope that "someone else" will do something to stop the New Order. Now JTClone was in a private convo with two someone elses.
JTClone Ares > hmm
JTClone Ares > just to fore warn you
JTClone Ares > if i am double crossed I am not so nice afterwards. and I have already proved a few times
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i'm an honorable man, my word is my bond
JTClone Ares > your word your bond. You break it I burn the bridge
JTClone Ares > my honor and your honor
But JTClone was wary. It seemed too good to be true. He'd already been tricked by New Order Agents before. He warned TheInternet not to stab him in the back. Luckily, TheInternet had honour.
JTClone Ares > oh and just to let you know
JTClone Ares > like an FYI
JTClone Ares > I prefer it if my enemies came to me and I wont go hunting to find people do to the fact i like to keep the control of the battlefield
JTClone Ares > never the other way around
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > like the fisherman spider
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > smart
JTClone Ares > I have played way to many tatic games to understand the art of war as well as few strategies I have yet to use
JTClone also explained how he preferred to operate. He likes to sit back and let things happen, basically. No wonder he's so highly regarded among the rebels--the man is a master strategist!
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i'm glad that you will help us, i think this will go well
JTClone Ares > so now the question is
JTClone Ares > when shall we start
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > this will be run in stages
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > the first gift for CODE will be a little christmas present if all goes according to plan
JTClone Ares > just aslong as i am not played by anyone I will be fine
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > excellent, looking forward to our partnership on this
After carefully weighing his options, the reincarnation of Sun Tzu decided he was willing to join the conspiracy, on the condition that it wasn't all just a huge scam with himself as the victim. Now the game was afoot. Everything was set to destroy the New Order by Christmas.

To be continued...


  1. Will the New Order be destroyed?

    Tune in next week for another episode of Sun Tsu's Magical HiSec Tour!

  2. JT truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

    Never change.

  3. The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!

  4. OMG, I can't wait, how will it turn out? HOW?!!

  5. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieDecember 27, 2014 at 9:42 PM

    I've already heard the rest of this story straight from JTClone. Something tells me James' account will be better though!

  6. "TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > like the fisherman spider"
    "TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > smart"

    How do you even fight against something like that? Seriously, I spilled my drink all over my keyboard. There needs to be an warning when you are about to reveal something like that.

    1. I lol'd at that quote too! So random.

      Here is our fisherman spider:

  7. Assuming he meant "too" rather than "to" (else the sentence makes no sense at all), JT stated that he has "played too many strategy games to understand the art of war". WTF? He used to understand it, but then ~one more turn~ and the knowledge deserted him?

    1. It could be JT native speech is a Germanic language. A literal translation of certain expressions would come out as the sentence he used.

      And ... the suspense is killing me!!!

  8. More code stupidity. Just griefing decent players and trying to get them to quit the game. Stop the sick sociopathy, disband, and start actually playing the game.

    1. "decent players" who the fuck are you talking about? Not this knob JTClone Ares. please Veers, even you should turn your guns on him. He's a parasite that preys on newbros. Think of the subscriptions! And CCP's bottom line!

    2. Veers, don't you think we'll hurt him greatly if we just disband? In JT's own words, he's the Rebel Leader, Major Pain in CODE's side, he owns the core corporation of the rebel movement etc. etc. etc. It seems to me his whole life is focused on CODE alliance, especially if you take into account how much time he spends talking pompously in AG channel.

      We can't just take his raison d'etre from him. It would be unusually cruel.

      Since neither JT nor his corporation/alliance ever disturbed CODE to any noticeable degree, I think everybody will be happier if the current state of affairs will remain. CODE will spread love and joy among carebears, and JT will stay at the head of anti-CODE movement.

    3. What is "actually" playing the game? Staring at a screen while sigital lazers grind rocks, while probably doing something else during that time? That's a massive waste. But people play the open worls that eve is how they will. Some heros some villains and all with individual opinions of which represents which. Anyone playing within CCP's rules is a decent player. If you don't like the perceived villains...fight them. Code is fighting their villains, alliances and coalitions fight theirs, Corp infiltrators fight theirs...come miners...if you dont like your enemies, fight them, its what the game is about. Stop your space no on can hear you.

    4. Veers...fight? Not going to happen. I find it hilarious really. After all..."he's a lover, not a fighter" Maybe we should all just sit in a circle, hold hands, and sing couldn't even type that with a straight face. We ARE actually playing the game..the way it was intended...get over it. oh...I have to throw in a HTFU too...since it seems a lot of people's "man parts" have shriveled up or hiding like a frightened turtle. Hehehe...I'm jk...maybe.. Veers....could I ever get you to duel me 1 on 1? I promise, I'll be gentle with you. :P XOXO

    5. Ahhh....a 1v1 challenge...from known cheaters who utilize neutral about I quote the code for ya, beautiful?

      Q. If you're invincible then meet me in [lowsec system] for a 1v1.

      I will gladly fight a duel with anyone, any time, anywhere. It doesn't matter what ship you bring; I will always win. Of course, it's a waste of my time unless I am fighting a worthy opponent.

    6. I'll take that challenge Mr. Veers.

    7. lol....the opponent has to be WORTHY....I mean MAYBE james 315...MAYBE mittens, for sure PL leadership folks...but the rest of you clowns...please...don't make me laugh.

    8. Veers, you're obviously not proficient in highsec warfare. Usage of neutral logistic ships, off-grid boosters, friends ready to login, suicide ECM ships etc is the essence of highsec combat. It's all about making sure you have a couple of surprises in your sleeve. Otherwise you just aren't good enough for it.

    9. Code bizzaro land "cheating" and "dishonor" are synonyms for "good."

    10. I don't use neutral logi. And worthy you say? Then what's the problem if I'm so unworthy? I have lived in low that's no problem. Why low? You plan to bring friends for a 1 vs 1? We can fleet up so you know there will be no warp at a safe away from everyone else and stations. Unless you're afraid to get worked by a girl.......what's the matter Veers, don't like aggressive women? I wouldn't want to hurt manhood. :P

    11. Nope, it's just how people fight in highsec. You obviously do not fight in highsec, so you don't know those things.

      As Jennifer in AG, she'll teach you a thing or two.

      Shortly: highsec is unique in PvP in abundance of ppl in local, which renders possible many tactics, unsuitable for lowsec or nullsec pvp, where every unknown character in local is considered hostile with unknown capabilities. All in all, highsec pvp is less controllable/predictable than lowsec or nullsec pvps (not to diminish complexity of those two).

      Veers, you're not a PvP player, you are not qualified to talk about any form of PvP combat - "fair" or "unfair".

    12. ...and wait...How is using the existing and allowed game mechanics cheating? You mean wardec dodging by closing and reopening your corp is cheating too? Hmmmmm? I smell a hypocrite...

    13. I'll fight you with my main who has never had any interaction with CODE. except podding a couple of them. ;) A very honorable toon in an upstanding corp, even spent time in Providence flying with Sarah Flynt in logi fleets fighting PL, Brave, CFC, & N3.

      But I know you won't cause your too chicken shit... and you would get your ass handed to you.
      Hmmm... when I think about it Veers, your not worthy enough, but being the generous soul I am I will give you the opportunity to prove yourself.

    14. Hehehe..apparently I'm not worthy to fight Veers either. "I will gladly fight a duel with anyone, any time, anywhere. It doesn't matter what ship you bring; I will always win. Of course, it's a waste of my time unless I am fighting a worthy opponent." he says, less than half my chars age. But...that doesn't always mean everything. Come get me with your 16-17 mil sp beast of a man you :P XOXO

    15. Has anybody made a bingo card for Veers Tears yet? It could have frequently (over)used phrases like "decent people", "CODE sociopaths" and "you idiots" as well as his favorite rhetorical devices like non sequitur, petitio principii, threatening to stalk other players and so on. If not, I will go ahead and create one to help other capsuleers endure the repetitive nature of his posting.

    16. more words from veers, must suck to get up in the morning and realize you're completely ineffectual

    17. The pen is mightier than the sword. My advocacy, along with that of others, was instrumental in getting real life harassers like DJ and jerry rin long can it be before loyalanon joins them?

    18. Veers, how many pens do you fit on your ships when going for PvP?

    19. Please.
      You had absolutely NOTHING to do with the banning. How could you? No one takes you seriously. You are nothing but a troll. Period. If it were not for the soapbox that CODE allows you to stand on, you would be less than nothing.

      By the way... I'm still game for that 1 on 1. Hell... I'll even toss in a cool billion if you win and write your praise here on the board and forums.

  9. *facepalm*
    I think this sums up what's about to happen.

    "Luckily, TheInternet had honour."

    guess JTClone Ares never heard,
    'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.'

  10. After listening to that inspirational speech I am now convinced that JTClone genuinely suffers from some kind of mental disability. I think I even feel sorry for him.

    But in the end we all have our own crosses to bear, and being dealt a bad hand by the universe is no excuse to flaunt the Code.

    1. Yes it is...anything is a good reason to flaunt the code...

    2. His speeches have inspired other speeches, the rebel propaganda is spreading like a virus.

      JTclone, master chief, ner ner ner!

      Luckily the New Order has the cure. The New Order is the cure.

  11. JTClone Ares is definitely a "major pain in the Code's side" - we're laughing so hard it hurts.

  12. I just listened to JTClone Ares's interview soundcloud. He's definitely not the fastest frigate in the fleet, so to speak.

    1. LOL...dammit almost made me choke on my drink :P

    2. I listened to about 15-20 sec's worth... he's sounds like he's a tween. Let me know when he finishes high school, he might be able to hold my attention for a whole minute then.

    3. LOL...dammit you two...stop it. Making me waste perfectly good rum and coke. :P

    4. How dare you. You may be a colonel, but JTClone is the supreme Rebel commander.

    5. My apologies dear lady... I had no idea that the man behind the squeaky, pre- ball dropping, lower grade school sounding voice was the man to bring hope to the masses.

      I will endeavour to show more respect...

  13. you guys are really starting to grow on me now rofl !!!


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