Wednesday, April 5, 2017

How to Use 85 Million Skillpoints

It was a by-the-book gank: Agent Duvaindes Fireleaf was on patrol in the Actee system, where she discovered a non-compliant miner. Death followed.


The miner in question, RAPID FALCON, had been mining in a Venture. In case he was a newbie, Agent Duvaindes began supplying the miner with valuable information about the nature of the gank he'd just experienced.


The miner appeared to be punch-drunk. Or maybe he was always like this.


RAPID made a ominous comment about a new code coming to the Actee system. Was he threatening counter-revolution?


The miner followed up his sinister prediction with another one. Unfortunately, RAPID had difficulty communicating his intentions, so it's possible he meant something else entirely.


No matter how many miners our Agents deal with--and no matter how similar the miners are to each other--there's always the potential for a bombshell revelation. RAPID made a stunning disclosure: He had 85 million skillpoints!


Could he be telling the truth? Yes. RAPID's lengthy employment history goes back long enough to support his extraordinary claim.


Behold the sum total of RAPID FALCON's three and a half years of EVE experience and 85 million skillpoints.


Duvaindes could only pity the miner. He wasn't interested in her compassion, though.


Our Agent tried to find some common ground with the miner, but the task proved to be impossible. It was difficult enough to carry on a conversation with RAPID--even a hostile one.


RAPID was sensitive to any criticism about his Venture fit. He renewed his threats.


Actually, our Agents are perfectly happy to lose all their ships--to CONCORD, that is. Duvaindes wasn't too worried about RAPID's claim to be able to hunt her down across the entire EVE galaxy. However, she did feel a Red Pen fee was appropriate in this instance.


RAPID FALCON excused himself from the convo with one final prediction: Agent Duvaindes would not expect nothing in highsec. Accounting for the double negative, the miner finally made a point. In the past, highsec was a silent wasteland devoid of content. No longer. Our Agents don't expect nothing in highsec; they expect the Code.

55 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Except when it doesn't, but we don't talk about that.....

      Delete
  2. Out of curiosity, was anyone else here reading RAPID FALCON's words and hearing them in their head in a Russian accent? :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spot on! In mother Russia miners gank YOU

      Delete
    2. I'm so used to reading this kind of stuff that I automatically substitute the correct English in my head.

      He appears to be Portuguese, and no one I know who doesn't speak the language is capable of successfully rendering that accent, whereas for some reason the 'Russian' accent is something upon which everyone agrees!

      Delete
    3. @ Anon 1710: Ha Ha Ha... no. We gank everyone regardless of nationality. We're an equal-opportunity organization that way.

      Although... that does remind me of Hardisen's line from "Leverage": "It's the Butcher of Kiev. Have you ever been to Kiev? The Cake Maker of Kiev could whup all of us!" LOL

      Delete
    4. Then a Portuguese rendering of the Code should be our next quest!

      Delete
    5. I just about fell out of my seat, I laughed so hard. How can Anti-Gankers defend these horrible miners? They're a terrible lot for the most part. We must save them from themselves, for the sake of High Sec and Eve!

      Delete
    6. And we shall not let them Talkemoutta anything! :D (Sorry, couldn't resist the Mel Brooks reference. LOL)

      Delete
    7. Yes we must implement das final solution and cleanse New Eden of the bergmenn. Heil James.

      Delete
    8. You racist mother F***

      Delete
    9. Não importaria eu não lidar com os nazistas

      Delete
    10. Mais pessoas vão caçá-lo, as pessoas até falam de uma raiva vinda contra você. Vocês são nazistas neste jogo e devem ser tratados da mesma forma que os nazistas reais. Vamos acabar com você.

      Delete
  3. They should call him RABID FALCON.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not funny really, try again.

      Delete
    2. He's gonna give you a FALCON PUNCH!

      Delete
    3. Você verá o quão raivoso eu sou quando o encontramos.

      Delete
  4. if antiganking cant stop a venture gank what makes them think they can stop a freighter gank?? XDXDXD!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your married to AG

      Delete
    2. Back off didn't you hear his wife is AG.

      Delete
    3. Porque quando eu tiver terminado a merda da sua măe, vou mandá-la para a cama sem o seu jogo e amigos nazistas.

      Delete
  5. "It was difficult enough to carry on a conversation with RAPID--even a hostile one."

    Ahahahahahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ria agora, você não vai estar rindo quando nós crânio fuck você à morte.

      Delete
  6. Fight for a free High Sec! Be a part of a friendly and dynamic team; and kill gankers! Join the High Sec Militia today!

    http://highsecmilitia.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does concord kill gankers or do you get 100% damage killmails?

      Delete
    2. Too bad they can't get people to read their blog so they have to advertise on ours :P

      Delete
    3. They have a blog? Is that what they call that URL? I thought it was a CODE/GOON hall of fame with all of the names up there. :D

      Delete
    4. @Wolfie We get 100% kill mails. Just ask any of your friends in game... oh wait, you can't! LOL

      Delete
    5. @1231, link your killmails please. Oh that's right, you can't. Ahahahahahahah

      Delete
    6. Link your sex life..... OH WAIT>>>> NO ONE WANTS TO CRY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  7. You want me to fight for this guy??? For reals?!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nein we want you to sacrifice for der reich and James 315's vision of a Bergmann free New Eden. Heil James.

      Delete
  8. What makes the highsec carebears so rabid?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is part of das bermanns DNA zey must be removed from the Fatherlands or all shall suffer.

      Delete
    2. Suas mães mau cozinhar e terrível galo sugando habilidades.

      Delete
  9. He's my favorite miner from this year's entries. Please never stop exposing the glorious results of prolonged exposure to asteroid-dust to the general public!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sicken me, you dare admire das Bergmann und speak here where the glory of James and his reich speak about das future of New Eden.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Nein You are not allowed to marry those associated with das Bergmann. You will be cleansed from New Eden for your association with them. Heil James.

      Delete
    2. Todos vocês, nazistas, precisam morrer.

      Delete
  11. He is one my brother's favorite miner. Thank you for sharing the post.
    instagram online

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is un Bergmann and must be eliminated from New Eden, Heil James.

      Delete
  12. Circle jerking anonymous ag posts litter the comments section these days, it seems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So just ignore em, don't be like an AG child or a miner.

      Delete
    2. Acting like a miner is not acceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
    3. Então você e seus amigos nazistas gostam de acariciar um ao outro, eu prefiro sua mãe.

      Delete
  13. Ah então este é o site que promove os nazistas de Eva.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Você deve ser o nazi de venda de bolos tentando levantar dinheiro, pênis flácido.

      Delete
  15. Nice! thank you so much! Thank you for sharing. Your blog posts are more interesting and informative. I think there are many people like and visit it regularly, including me.
    Jimmi

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.