Friday, April 7, 2017

The Definition of a Bot-Aspirant


The Aidart system: All was quiet and boring until an injection of the Code brought the system to life. Highsec miner D33jay Dinner lost her fail-fit Covetor, but she gained so much more in content.


D33jay didn't blame herself for violating the Code. Nor did she see any problem with her ludicrous Covetor fit. But she did find fault with Agent Zopiclone--against whom she calmly raged in local.


Spurning even the slightest risk or difficulty, D33jay chose a life of highsec mining, which she assumed was 100% safe. Naturally, she criticized our Agent for not going to nullsec.


In this case, the three "fags" also included Agent Never Gonna SeeGrandKids and a Serpentis Watchman.


Zopiclone attempted to teach D33jay about the Code, but the miner was extremely close-minded. She was so skeptical that she even questioned the words Zopiclone was using.


D33jay's own vocabulary was questionable. For example, she did not consider herself a miner.


The self-proclaimed non-miner complained about the unfairness of EVE and suggested other players should pay her to mine.


As D33jay questioned the sanity of our Agents, her own mental stability began to display signs of weakening.


Since her Covetor was destroyed, D33jay downgraded to a Venture and challenged Zopiclone to come gank her.


As it is written,
As Supreme Protector, some may expect me to doggedly enforce the rules at all times against all offenders. This is a misperception of my role. Aside from those who have purchased indulgences, I will bump whomever I choose, whenever I choose. Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy. If I feel like stopping you from mining, I will; if not, I won't.
This section of the Code has made a lot of rebellious miners very unhappy.


Residents of Aidart noticed the disturbance in local and remarked upon it. Their innocent comments were enough to drive D33jay to (more) anger.


D33jay graduated from the false bravado phase and went into sulking mode. Her "fun" day of AFK mining in highsec had been ruined.


An important part of the New Order's philosophy is the idea that highsec isn't meant to be 100% safe, and that players should expect potential PvP--including ganking--anywhere in the game. Our philosophy has been so successful, so utterly persuasive, that it has taken hold even among many of our enemies.


D33jay's bizarre ideas about the definition of "miner", "MMO", and "sandbox" made her the object of ridicule among her fellow miners.


We can see, then, that the bot-aspirant carebear does not merely hold different opinions and preferences. Rather, the D33jays of EVE are objectively wrong. No wonder they instinctively recoil from truth. And it's no wonder that they always fail.

38 comments:

  1. Proof positive, mining lasers kill brain cells.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I thought they were just cool looking vacuums.

      Delete
    2. Better watch that secondary exposure, it adds up. Please use the inverse square law for reference.

      Delete
  2. Zopiclone Winning Like Always

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marú cosúil anfhlaith

      Delete
  3. Favorite bits:

    D33jay Dinner > and you can't even spell...
    D33jay Dinner > get a life looser

    D33jay Dinner > [EVE] is not an mmo...

    Looks like we have a Goofus here. Even the locals called him out on his BS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, that's one ignorant bitch.

      Kill it till it quits! That's the only way to save EVE.

      Delete
    2. Cleanse New Eden of das greddy Bergmenn. Heil James

      Delete
    3. YAY Make em all rage quit, all of them. WE LOVE GENOCIDE HERE.

      Delete
    4. Foul language is not acceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
    5. Wir sind das Reich von James, wir werden tun, was wir wollen.

      Delete
  4. 'D33jay Dinner'. Where do they get them from?

    Classic tears, sublime salt. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is part of der bergmanns DNA, more reason to implement das final solution. Heil James.

      Delete
    2. Fan le haghaidh an teacht ar an deireadh

      Delete
  5. I think that text says "eatabagofdicks"

    nice salt Zopi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. ithe mála de coileach.

      Delete
    2. N'fheadar, a dhéanann tú póg do mháthair leis go béal?

      Delete
  6. "iv played just about every mmo for nearly the last 20 years"

    Up to this point I assumed I was reading the outbursts of a teenager with learning difficulties.

    We then learn that the miner is at the very least 30 years old, experienced with MMO games, but still behaving like a spoiled child over losing a ship that is worth about 50 pence in real world value.

    The pent up anger of a troublesome player can often be converted into an effective form of punishment for their various wrongdoings - this miner is entirely the author of his own misery, and deserved no less than Agent Zopiclone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes he must be added to the list for das final solution. Heil James

      Delete



    2. Die Bergleute sind ein gieriges Los, das entfernt werden muss und ihre kindliche Wut ist ein Beispiel dafür. Vernichte sie alle.

      Delete
    3. Ná bíodh imní ort a gcuid feirge a deireadh uair amháin go bhfuil cód marbh, beidh do ghrúpa a thabhairt ar an deireadh an oíche roimh leis an Ghiúdachas frith.

      Delete
    4. Aisteach, tá a fhios agat trí é seo a mharú i ndáiríre bonn imreoir? Gan go mbeadh a fhios agam a bheith ina Ríomhchláraitheoir agus go léir.

      Delete
  7. Agent SaltyClone enforcing the code outside of the code. Should rename kalorneds next youtube series to that 😂😂😂😂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see an Agent working, and another one (?) ridiculing himself publicly.

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha keep recruiting scrubs into your The CODEbears Elite :D

      Delete
    3. loyalanon why does Zopiclone bring you do much pain inside? Please let us all know. This is a safe place.

      Delete
    4. You guys need to kiss and make up. Honestly your like an old married couple.

      Delete
    5. Its ok, you two can just eat tacos and be happy, I love tacos.

      Delete
    6. Did you and you AG wife have a fight? I'm sorry please go cry over at the nearest empty wall. Even it doesn't give a shit.

      Delete
    7. Foul language is not acceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
    8. Destroy them all, no more miners ever. KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL :D

      Delete
    9. An bhfuil cód dul a thabhairt ar an deireadh?

      Delete
    10. Mac Tíre fuaimeanna an-trína chéile, ní gá sé do chara? Tá cúram iompróidh b'fhéidir?

      Delete
  8. An bhfuil mé a glacadh leis nach bhfuil tú mhaith a iarrtha Gankers? Mar gheall ar go bhfuil an méid a bhfuil tú.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Replies
    1. Cibé rud a dhéanann tú sásta.

      Delete
    2. Ty pieprzony matka nazizmu.

      Delete

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