Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Thrasher for Your Thoughts, Part 1


Sigh. Every carebear's gotta come up with some excuse for going AFK. And yet, when someone autopilots in a shuttle, the question must be asked, "What were they thinking?" A few brave souls are determined to find out.


Vrix Nation wants to know what's really going on inside all those carebears' heads. The first step is to remove their implants. Vrix Nation has destroyed over 15,000 pods and they're only getting warmed up.


Upon being podded, each autopiloter receives from Vrix an informative EVEmail and a questionnaire. After all, these are pod service professionals we're talking about, not griefers.


No survey ever gets a 100% response rate, but carebears become more talkative after a round of PvP with one of our Agents.


Once a channel of communication has been opened, the free exchange of ideas may occur. The carebear learns about the Code, and the Agent learns about the carebear.


Some obstacles remain. The language barrier can partly or wholly obscure the thoughts of the bot-aspirant, such as they are.


Our Agents do their best to decipher the intent of the carebear and move on.


A common theme emerges: Autopiloters tend to be anti-Code. A key issue--one which they feel very strongly about--is the right to autopilot. This can be written off as a result of the autopiloters' selfishness and greed. A poor basis for making policy, indeed!


In fact, a bot-aspirant is unlikely to be satisfied by any rules or regulations for highsec life. They're anarchists--except when they beg CCP to make a rule against ganking.


There are exceptions, of course. Urist Mc-ary felt that our Agent didn't go far enough.


Others favor ganking because they think it furthers some harebrained scheme that sounds like it came from an Anti-Ganker.


Faced with mostly negative responses, should our Agents abandon their mission--or doubt the justice of their cause? On the contrary.


Negative reactions from carebears merely underscore how much work is left to be done. It encourages our Agents to redouble their efforts.


On the other hand, a certain percentage of autopiloters genuinely appreciate having their mistakes pointed out and penalized. This, too, encourages our Agents. The answer, then, is simple: Kill more pods!

To be continued...

79 comments:

  1. "Vrix Nation wants to know what's really going on inside all those carebears' heads"

    Hmmmmm, carebear vivisection. I support this research. ;D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Salt and vitriol with traces of fur.

      Delete
    2. Is it soft fur? I like soft fuzzy things, and tacos.

      Delete
    3. Es ist nicht weich, weil wir als die rechtschaffenen Soldaten von Jakobus die Sorgfaltbären haut und sie bloß legen.

      Delete
  2. Seien Sie vorsichtig, einige Ihrer Kommentare Abschnitte sind mit diesen Tränen gefüllt, müssen Sie möglicherweise überprüfen Sie Ihre Mitgliedschaft. Code gewinnt immer, wenn es rein ist. Heil James.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Inb4 tweeps/fighterjets(banned bonus room host) startss whining and crying in discord/ingame everywhere about getting the boot from code/minerbumping. So salty XDXDXD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha loyal reaching
      F1 Monkey.

      Delete
    2. A bonus room host?!? Uh oh! It sounds like there is some New Order metagaming going on!

      Somebody call Ripard Teg!

      Delete
    3. PEPSI: Check out this PR disaster.
      UNITED: That's amateur hour. Watch!
      STATE OF ALABAMA: Bless y'all's heart...
      Loyalanon: Hold my beer.

      Delete
    4. Riptard (likes to be) Pegged?

      I remember that bleeding puss, and all the whiney crybear swjs that fell right in line behind him.

      Of course, that's how riptard likes it, with everyone coming from behind....

      Useless twats, the lot of 'em.

      ;)

      Delete
    5. Sjws even xD

      Delete
    6. No response from them so far. Just a bunch of anons.

      Delete
    7. Yup. They mad.

      Delete
    8. cracks forming

      Delete
    9. Oh no cracks, we need a repairman, somebody call a repair man!

      Delete
    10. Schau Loyal scheitert wieder.

      Delete
    11. Foul language is unacceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
  4. Awww look people creating content.,.,. just waiting on some shitters to comment now about AG failing incredibly hard. But those people don't do anything in Game anymore. Maybe they still F1.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why wait? Just post that stuffs up while you are here, taking the time to whine about it.

      I mean you were here, nothing to wait on, but you must want someone else to do it for you.

      Are you mad that you must work outside the camaraderie of the Code? Are you a salty-clone?

      You can still be helped, fixed even. We can correct your abhorrent behavior.

      Although maybe there is something to the old adage: "once a carebear, always a highsec shitter"


      ;)

      Delete
    2. Du musst deine Sprache sehen, kleiner Mann, es wird nicht von den überlegenen Agenten des Neuen Ordens.

      Delete
    3. Always some shit does some shit thing and calls it "content". Not everything you do whilst wiping your ass is content!

      Delete
    4. Dein Foul Mund erinnert mich an die Kinder Bergleute.

      Delete
    5. Beruhige den Bergmann.

      Delete
    6. Hey kraut.

      eat more cock, skinhead. ;)

      Delete
    7. Ich werde das deinem Mutterbergmann überlassen.

      Delete
    8. Foul language is unacceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
  5. "Violated the law of I don't give a fuck...."

    Unintentional carebear comedy gold. Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know if the carebear made me laugh, or the thought of him yelling it at his screen while he pounded out that message.

      Delete
    2. He gave enough of a fuck to send a reminder that he didn't give a fuck.

      Delete
    3. Foul language is unacceptable under code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
    4. Wenn du diesen potty Mund nicht beobachst, dann folgst du dem Code nicht und bist daher ein unerwünschter, der getötet werden muss.

      Delete
  6. Kill More Pods!

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay make em rage quit

      Delete
    2. Ja reinige neue Eden und beanspruche den neuen Orden.

      Delete
    3. Kill em all, and bring tacos.

      Delete
  7. What salty tweeps and Kalorned REALLY think of their "friend" Hrothgar and the other AGBees they made:

    http://i.imgur.com/1y5XFol.png

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loyal is right. Have fun enforcing Code outside of Code.

      Delete
    2. Wenn er nicht einer von uns ist, dann muss er für das Wohl des reiches beseitigt werden.

      Delete
    3. Mit dem Schreien Kinder Bergleute und Pflege Bären? Ich hoffe nicht oder sonst müssen wir die Organisation für das Gute von Eva.

      Delete
  8. Have fun in your Hi-Sec Social Club for Gankers Who Can't Gank Good And Want to Learn to Do Other Things Good Too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MOAR Cracks forming

      Delete
    2. Hahaha watching jerry lose his mind and fall apart right in front of our eyes is pure gold. Thank you for being our bonus content. Don't stop. Please don't stop.

      Delete
    3. Pissed in popcorn.

      Delete
    4. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha gf

      Delete
    5. I know Jerry is just trying to take my ISK from me. Its all one incredible hoax. You are failing incredibly hard right now. XDXDXD

      Delete
    6. Hat dieser Kerl mehr Worte als nur "Misserfolg", es ist wie ein gebrochener Rekord.

      Delete
    7. Damage Control II has been activated XDXDXD

      Delete
    8. Damage Control II can't repel tears of that magnitude.

      Delete
    9. Mehr Tränen bedeutet mehr Schmieröl. Töte jetzt alle Bergleute und mache New Eden perfekt.

      Delete
    10. Buttered popcorn

      Delete
  9. There is only one Savior of High Sec, and CODE. is His alliance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is only one code and James is its messenger.

      Delete
    2. Jetzt scheint es, dass Code wie islam wird.

      Delete
    3. Was der Bauer nicht kennt...

      Delete
  10. Did code get scammed again?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mit dem Schreien Kinder Bergleute und Pflege Bären? Ich hoffe nicht oder sonst müssen wir die Organisation für das Gute von Eva

      Delete
    2. Mit dem Schreien Kinder Bergleute und Pflege Bären? Ich hoffe nicht oder sonst müssen wir die Organisation für das Gute von Eva

      Delete
    3. If code did it wouldn't be winning.

      Delete
  11. LOL carebears celebrating some CODE drama. Your ships are still exploding whether it's CODE doing it or someone else. Keep on failing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Einfach jetzt willst du nicht wie ein Bergmann oder ein unerwünschtes sein.

      Delete
    2. Care bear countdown.

      Delete
  12. So, all you carebears do know that this most recent "drama" in CODE. is just them trolling all of you yet again, right?

    Please tell me you poor miners are not stupid enough to fall for the same thing again, and again, and again, and again...... Ya see where this is goin, friends?

    Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, call me ag.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "ag" there are no caps in antiganking.

      Delete
  13. All the angry German posters are just tweeps and kalorned trying to break out the symbolism by associating code with Nazis ��������

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nein, wir lieben den Code und seine Botschaft über die Beseitigung der unerwünschten Menschen in Eva, du denkst das ist ein Streich, aber wir leben tatsächlich den Lebensstil und sind froh, dass es in anderen Aspekten des Lebens getan wird.

      Delete
    2. Strange. All the "German" comments work almost perfectly in Google translate..... As though they were written in English and translated to German using Google translate.

      Delete
    3. Isnt that what translate means

      Delete
    4. I think he's suggesting they aren't really Germans. It's fairly easy for native speakers to tell non native speakers by little quirks in sentence structure or terminology. I'm guessing the same is true for other languages.

      Delete
    5. Cool I'm gonna start posting in other languages too.

      Delete
    6. Deine Oma masturbiert im stehen. Du Schwachkopf.

      Delete
  14. It's simply amazing how many medical cases we've uncovered in the past couple of months. First a dog with a seizure right when the shooting starts and then I pop a Venture whose pilot was in the middle of a seizure RIGHT when I started shooting. I think that we're showing pilots that EVE might not be the game for them if they're suffering from these kinds of medical ailments.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Medical emergencies are no laughing matter that's why I have life alert, in the event of a medical emergency I press the button and life alert gets me the medical attention I need.

      Delete

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