Monday, April 24, 2017

Thrasher for Your Thoughts, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Agents of Vrix Nation corp rounded up a bunch of Code violators who'd been caught in the act of autopiloting. Interrogations by correspondence followed.


Some autopiloters are candid about their AFK autopiloting ways. Unnecessarily candid, even.


Others make excuses, as in the classic miner cliché, "I wasn't AFK, I was just [AFK]."


The more a carebear talks, the more obvious his guilt becomes. Take Jankormar Amatin1, for instance. He came up with an excuse about his screen going blank at the moment he was ganked. Extremely unlikely, but still an excuse. Then he violated the Code by expressing bot-aspirant attitudes about highsec--negating any value his excuse might've had.


Carebears tangle themselves in knots when they try to play space lawyer. Commander Hamilton quoted something not in the Code, and then accidentally admitted that he was AFK. Oops!


A cleverer carebear simply declares his innocence and doesn't get bogged down in the details. However, a clever Goofus is still a Goofus, and Goofuses are not eligible for reimbursement.


And if all else fails, throw a family member (and/or pet) under the bus.


Not all autopiloters attempt to justify themselves--some aren't calm enough.


New Order scientists speculate that the anger directed by carebears against our Agents actually originates from the carebear's anger at himself. Regardless of the source, it is a violation of the Code and has no place in EVE.


Luckily for the autopiloters, our Agents are a forgiving bunch and only deploy the Red Pen in extreme cases.


Davidd Olacar belongs to the class of carebear that claims to be unaffected by his loss but declares a vendetta against the ganker anyway. As the old saying goes, when you seek revenge against an Agent of the New Order, dig one grave--for yourself. Our Agent will be fine.


Even when an autopiloter tries to do nothing more than insult our Agent, he may still manage to incriminate himself. Magnum'PI admitted that he wasn't a newbie. He should've known better!


In contrast to the always-anonymous commenters who claim that they've never been ganked, anna radu admitted she'd lost at least three pods. She then sought sympathy, as if being a repeat offender doesn't make matters worse.


Have you noticed that EVE players with proper attitudes and beliefs about highsec are more likely to be retained? Perhaps CCP should seek out players with such attitudes in their marketing campaigns--and foster it in the game's tutorial. (Assuming they still do marketing for EVE, that is.)


Angry carebears, take note: Some of your fellow autopiloters offer words of praise and encouragement to our Agents, which helps keep them going. If our Agents are going to keep on ganking anyway, maybe you should do likewise?

To be continued...

39 comments:

  1. Hey guys Gorilla Vengaza's back! He's in AG now though with an alt! Woo Hoo! Code is going to die now 4 sure! :D

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    Replies
    1. I doubt that very seriously. Even if it was true there is NOTHING he can do to stop us, cause you know, the Code Always wins!

      Delete
    2. Maybe he can motivate then into actually doing something. Or maybe he'll just watch them all fail as usual.

      Look at the some of their leaders and you can see why they are failing!
      Sarah Flynt... on vacation in null.
      Jennifer en Marmiteland... on vacation in null.
      Alexander Kaan't, .. afk for 2 weeks.
      Astecas... afk for a very very long time, presumed dead but still logged in!
      Brad Neece... gone? Has anyone seen him? He's cool but WHERE is he?
      Faildo Raine... Where's Aldo? Plebe.

      Thomas en Chains... THE ONLY LEADER ACTUALLY LEADING. Why Thomas has not left you guys is beyond me.

      Delete
    3. Lol i have him on facebook. Nice try

      Delete
    4. Is he your AG hubby?

      Delete
  2. Fear not! Judging by her trainwreck of a killboard, anna radu bounced back.
    https://zkillboard.com/character/96175010/
    Her choice of the corp Mission Ready Mining seems to be the problem. Despite that, her worst losses are to NPC rats.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How CODE acts:

    Government agencies at all levels aimed to exclude Jews from the economic sphere of Germany by preventing them from earning a living. Jews were required to register their domestic and foreign property and assets, a prelude to the gradual expropriation of their material wealth by the state. Likewise, the German authorities intended to "Aryanize" all Jewish businesses, a process involving the dismissal of Jewish workers and managers, as well as the transfer of companies and enterprises to non-Jewish Germans, who bought them at prices officially fixed well below market value. From April 1933 to April 1938, "Aryanization" effectively reduced the number of Jewish-owned businesses in Germany by approximately two-thirds.

    What code forces miners to pay for:

    During the Nazi era, German authorities reintroduced the Jewish badge as a key element in their plan to persecute and eventually to destroy the Jewish population of Europe. They used the badge not only to stigmatize and humiliate Jews but also to segregate them and to watch and control their movements.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Butt hurt code Nazi* See above.

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    2. I love it when a code Nazi cries.

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    3. So all kip has is the same old tears about nazis.

      Project much, kipper?


      Delete
    4. Only people who get bent being called a Nazi are like Nazis. P.S. who the fuck is Kip

      Delete
  4. Praise Zopiclone. \o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Praise Zopi-Kip-Winger-Clone \o/

      Delete
    2. https://derpicdn.net/img/2017/3/4/1379403/thumb.png

      Delete
  5. Good evening, New Eden. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition, the totality of blogs. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, where upon important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with moderator accounts will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, ganking. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, James 315. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. This night, I seek to end that silence. This night, I corrupt the MB to remind this community of what it has forgotten. A great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this Code remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, inside the gates of High Sec, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So on November 5th AG is going to park their pods in the gates of highsec?

      Sounds like fun. I'll grab some thrashers! XD

      Delete
    2. Wall of text tears are the best tears.

      Delete
    3. JA, Nazi loves tears of the oppressed.

      Delete
    4. Lol this crying PHag can't come up with something original, so he's forced to plagiarize bad B-movie dialogue. That's so ag, it has zopikipshitter written all over it.

      Don't forget, kip is PHags #1 H.O.M.O.

      Delete
    5. How dare ya blaspheme V for Vendetta, that was a good movie. Call the ager's what ya will but don't piss on a good movie.

      Delete
  6. Commander Hamilton was quoting my Post Enforcement Notification mail sent to noncompliants. I wonder where he found it. My guess is he was previously defeated on a different character.

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  7. "kill each other just for the fun of it." ... Umm am I missing something here? I thought killing each other for the fun of it was what Eve was all about. Lol this is like someone getting mad on smite because a player killed him when all he wanted to do was kill jungle minions.

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    Replies
    1. Carebears literally think that PvP is one of the cons of EVE Online.

      Delete
    2. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d8/cd/2c/d8cd2c11072a61764ad7611a66f2c9d5.jpg

      Delete
  8. AG does not believe that High Sec is worth fighting for. That is why they fail.

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    Replies
    1. When your freighter is being bumped, and AG sends one griffin, you know at that moment you are fucked.

      Delete
  9. Lets have a good laugh with this one.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jth4yATniS4

    ReplyDelete
  10. That zopikip shitter has absolutely no control over himself. All the daily copy/pasta tears about nazis makes me laugh, not at the comment, but the crying PHag behind it. (Pandemic Horde anti ganking, before anymore of you PHags start crying)

    Lol bitches ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Language please. Follow the code.

      Delete
    2. http://t03.deviantart.net/V_sAhHPDZSFIxnj0ph1aqHQ9kUQ=/300x200/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre07/a7b1/th/pre/f/2014/242/4/a/untitled_by_siriuslyironic-d7xc1gb.jpg

      Delete
  11. If you useless AG shitters spent as much time protecting your assets as you do crying here, you might not be so butt hurt all the time.

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    Replies
    1. AWWWWW Someone is having a bad day because his getting called names, someone needs a nap.

      Delete
    2. OMG the big bad agents of code are big ass babies on their own site, this is glorious. Fuck the game I'm just gonna sit in here and watch em melt down. Geuss thnat means they cant gank me anymore LOL. Too bad.

      Delete
  12. Now we're getting some excitement, all we need now is to get a full on shouting match and then someone can throw in the party favors and start blowing up the room. And maybe some heads too if we can fit the grenade into their mouths.

    -HA

    ReplyDelete
  13. http://thecartdriver.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/vlcsnap-2010-09-02-14h07m07s230-460x258.png

    ReplyDelete
  14. Its just like the code Nazis, one even looks like James while another is calling people sub-human.

    https://youtu.be/Py_IndUbcxc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And look we know where James' big daddy is now as well.


      https://youtu.be/Wmilvm3KIgw

      Delete

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