Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned was locked in an epic struggle with Mission Ready Mining, a corp with thousands of members. Thus far, Kalorned was destroying MRM's miners in the Gelhan system unopposed. MRM's attempt to hire highsec mercenaries failed spectacularly when the mercs simply declared their contract fulfilled and went home. Now MRM itself prepared to go to war.

Mission Ready Mining corp's alliance, Fly Fearless, had declared war against Kalorned's gank alt corp. In just a few short hours, the wardec would go live, and MRM would show what they were made of.
Kibbera > Kill: Alec Arareb (Retriever) Mining without a Mining Permit is not permitted
baks exwower > nice bump
baks exwower > dude piss off
Kalorned > You need a mining permit
baks exwower > no im good
baks exwower > lots of bog roll here
Krominal > Kill: Mizuken Kaguison (Venture) nice venture m8
As the hours ticked by, Kalorned continued bumping and ganking miners without any opposition. If MRM had a war plan, they weren't showing any of their cards just yet.

With the wardec just minutes away, Kalorned's gankers ran out of MRM miners to kill, so they destroyed an unaffiliated Mackinaw instead.

So far, business as usual in Gelhan.
Georgia B Dixie > What is going on here?
Georgia B Dixie > Why is there an Orthurus with a small gaggle of ducklings following it in this belt
Kalorned > Georgia B Dixie just my fan club, pay no mind
Georgia B Dixie > None of my business, just found the sight curious
A passerby wandered into Gelhan and began asking questions. Georgia B Dixie was amazed to see a small group of failed counter-bumpers and counter-gankers following Kalorned's bumping ship.
Georgia B Dixie > Is this some sort of armed conflict over rights to this belt?
baks exwower > lol no
Liallian Skir > Kalorned is a ganker, he will kill you just for bing in a mining ship....
baks exwower > they like killing miners
Kalorned > Liallian Skir Unless you have a permit, that is
In fact, Georgia was secretly a New Order spy. Her questions were aimed at getting intel from the MRM forces.
Menomine Hekki > Kalorned is a mining bumper for code
Menomine Hekki > so they can gank the mining ships
Menomine Hekki > Kalorned just ganks high sec because he doesnt know what pvp is
Menomine Hekki > code ganking miners, we fighting back
The docked-up MRM miners spoke freely with the stranger. Menomine Hekki claimed that they intended to fight back against our Agent, but there was no evidence of it.
Kalorned > I find it funny you war decced a corp full of gankers
Kalorned > You know you can shoot them anytime regardless, right?
Lilliana Tanaka > Only once they're criminal, yeah?
Kalorned > No, before then
Kalorned > literally, anytime
Lilliana Tanaka > Are their security status really that low?
Kalorned finally broke the news: MRM's wardec was pointless, because the targeted corporation only contained characters with -10 security status.
Kalorned > You never bothered to look?
baks exwower > they would still get a kill right
Kalorned > See, I can teach you so much more than you would otherwise learn shooting rocks
Kalorned > You should be thanking me
Lilliana Tanaka > Sucks that your generosity is wasted on a bunch like us
Kalorned took pity on the carebears. There was so much ignorance displayed by young and old EVE pilots in MRM. They were totally reliant on our Agent to explain EVE's game mechanics to them. Some carebears bristle at this sort of "Codesplaining", but our Agents know better than them, so they've just got to learn to deal with it--or else they won't ever learn anything.
Menomine Hekki > see now though, with war, no kill rights
Menomine Hekki > we can kill freely
Kalorned > Gankers dont get kill rights silly
Kalorned > You should really stop propogating misinformation
Georgia B Dixie > Kalorned How much of their stuff have you killed?
Lilliana Tanaka > Lots lol
One of the MRM pilots, Lilliana Tanaka, had several years in the game and was the de facto fleet commander for the Gelhan resistance. She unveiled the MRM strategy for the war:
Lilliana Tanaka > we'll afk this war too
Lilliana Tanaka > watch
Kalorned > Oh excellent
Kalorned > That's a great way to retain new players who you seek to help
Kalorned > Tell them to go AFK
Our Agent could only shake his head in disappointment. If our enemies really cared about new player retention rates, these are the groups they'd be complaining about.
Lilliana Tanaka > well they're usually afk mining for you, right?
Lilliana Tanaka > So it won't be much different for them
Kalorned > Just flat out suggesting they go AFK is rather odd though
Kalorned > "Come play EVE Online by not doing anything and going AFK"
Lilliana Tanaka > Shit yeah
Lilliana Tanaka > EvE Online: The original Idle Clicker
Lilliana frankly told Kalorned that she foresaw MRM pilots simply giving up and staying docked--though technically speaking, they were the aggressor in this war.
Georgia B Dixie > so you have new players who you are telling to stay in corp during the wardec and AFK rather than drop corp?
Lilliana Tanaka > Meh, I don't tell them to leave OR stay
Lilliana Tanaka > I don't "Control" players
Lilliana Tanaka > I just offer them content, and knowledge.
Despite her own questionable knowledge of the game mechanics, Lilliana saw herself as a source of wisdom for all the new players under her command.
Kalorned > You do set the tone though
Lilliana Tanaka > Sure I do. I lead by example.
Kalorned > "follow me! lets stay docked!"
Lilliana Tanaka > But... alas. Not everyone follows my example
Lilliana Tanaka > Some of them are genuinely afraid of you.
The 2,400-member corp was seemingly unable to cope with a single Agent of the New Order. Could they find a way to defeat the Code enforcer--or were they doomed to an extended period of misery?

To be continued...


  1. Agent K. The women want him, men want to be him.

    Okay, some of the men want him to.


    1. Want him to what?

    2. haha, Galaxy , so true!
      Or, it would be, assuming you meant "too" :D


    3. Enforcing the code outside of the code


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