Sunday, August 13, 2017

Kills of the Week

Tolerance and respect are two of the main pillars of the New Order of Highsec: Carebears are required to tolerate and respect the Code. Those who disobey the Code are a threat to our tolerant, respectful society and must therefore be eradicated with extreme prejudice. Some helpful examples, from the week of August 6th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 12th @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Convoy Prime didn't exactly live up to his name. He chose to travel alone, AFK, and on autopilot. Convoy wasn't up to speed on the changes our fair Order has brought to highsec; he didn't realize that autopiloting in a shuttle puts a big red target on your back. Agent Aaaarrgg was thrilled to see a Leopard, as they've become considerably more rare these days--thanks to our Agents.


Aaaarrgg was pleasantly surprised when the shuttle kill yielded a 3 billion isk batch of skill injectors. He wanted to wish the AFK Leopard pilot a good fight, but it was several minutes before Convoy finally accepted the convo request.


Convoy announced that he'd only been killed due to a "socket closure". It's amazing how often carebears suffer network issues at the very moment they're ganked.


Hopefully Convoy will be more careful in the future. Players who obey the Code don't get as many socket closures, I've noticed.



This will be one of those "themed" Kills of the Week posts. We start with Zhool Arzi, whose 146 million isk Retriever was stomped by Agent Alexander Kirenski. Zhool made the mistake of fitting a 'Carpo' Mining Laser Upgrade, which tripled the value of his ship. A little bling can be as bad as a lot.



Next, the Covetor. TickleMy Elmo was the week's obligatory ORE Strip Miner guy. The rest of his fittings were less expensive, but no better. Agents Alyth Nerun and Ima Wreckyou put TickleMy out of his and the rest of highsec's misery.



Ryu Aridashi completes the set with an overpriced Mackinaw. Agents Subotai Hyrkanian and Crom Cimmeria scanned the ship and noticed a horrendous display of seemingly random modules. Surprisingly, none of the bad module choices were responsible for the high value of the Mackinaw...


Decadent drones will get you every time. And now for the week's worst mining ship:



What was Gintaras Mikalocius thinking? After destroying his mining Thorax, Agent Guybertini contacted Gintaras to find out:


There's your answer. As expected, the carebear wasn't thinking at all.



Zartev lost a 1.9 billion isk Golem and stuck around to be podded by Agent Jin Culdac. The result was an additional 3.2 billion isk catastrophe for the carebear.


The Mining Foreman Mindlink was actually the least expensive of the implants, but it was the most revealing. Though Zartev was at the helm of a Marauder, he was a highsec miner at his core. Let's hope he has a change of heart.

17 comments:

  1. woah looks like antigankers are failing hard. wish they could separate real life from a video game

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looks like your still a child abuser bot.

      Delete
  2. You are the anti-ganker now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's hitting below the belt miner.

      Delete
    2. STOP CALLING ME A JEW!

      Delete
    3. That's standard practice for code. Hit em in the dick.

      Delete
  3. anyone else remember that time kalynn shardani?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does not matter they must all be killed for the glory of James 315, blessing upon his name.

      James Akbar!

      Delete
    2. Whoa and the bitch brings up RL. nice metagaming dumbass.

      Delete
    3. Wolf go be AN HERO.

      Fucking idiot.

      Delete
  4. poor thorax! I saw a gnosis being abused in the same way in a belt!

    https://prnt.sc/g84zrr

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw your mom being abused, but its ok she likes it rough.

      Delete
  5. If you cannot complete these tasks then you can never claim victory.

    Test of Valour. Prove you are not afraid to die by Coding a valuable ship, and do so in a manner that demonstrates integrity and honesty.

    Test of Wisdom. Correctly answer the almighty Ehnea's questions three. Each question must be answered within 20 seconds. The Questions Three will be different for each code monkey each day.

    Test of Fortitude. Walk a mile in the almighty Ehnea's shoes by becoming a miner. You must continue to mine for an indefinite period of time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I must say chaps a very poor showing this week, there used to more expensive and wonderous killmails to see. I am very very disappointed.....except for the leopard one mmmmm skill injectors to add for more ganking

    ReplyDelete
  7. Noob miners getting the dick yet again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah but only a really, really, tiny weeny one this week.

      Delete
  8. Important news:

    http://view.email.ccpgames.com/?qs=678ffb19df7deeefc26296c15b2afab4db02ba9c363f2044f08594546f80035363d6c4e2384749bc9ac39962e9d7ce41250f6975e537eede51eede5cb480290bc8a3962394c6d7df

    Please let me know wich Order pilot is intersted in real dog fights? Just write your name and ill add you!

    Please i will do more dogfights!

    ReplyDelete

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