Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Awesome Samaritan, Part 1

In modern highsec, justice is real.

In the tranquil system of Autaris, justice came to William Bell, who lost his Hulk. In addition to his poor choice of career and mining ship, William had erred in equipping his Hulk with such modules as a sentry damage rig and a 1mn Civilian Afterburner. Clearly, this was a new player in need of some good advice.

Or maybe not so new. William had been a member of a highsec mining corporation for just shy of 10 years. In fact, William started playing EVE in 2005. A lot's changed since then--the most significant change being the Code.

Shortly after being ganked, William caught a break. He was contacted by Kintaro Kitsuji, who offered assistance.

Contrary to what you might expect, Kintaro was not a member of the mighty CODE. alliance. He simply saw a fellow EVE player in need and wanted to help out.

When he returned to his keyboard, William sent a reply. He admitted that he was indeed the original owner of the aged William Bell character.
William Bell > I will take all the help you can give, thank you so much
William Bell > I've only been back for 2 days been gone for 9.5 years...but got back into it to get my mind off the divorce.....and then this happenes, I almost took an ax to my computer
Kintaro Kitsuji > Is your corp just you?
William Bell > yep 3 characters all me
Kintaro joined a private convo with William and his fellow corp members, who turned out to be William's alts.
William Bell > and from the looks of it struggling really bad
Kintaro Kitsuji > Well, yeah.
Kintaro Kitsuji > I mean, you have t2 mining ships. Anything else? It's rough to mine.
William Bell > yep
The miner had been gone for nearly 10 years, he claimed. If true, he'd been away while the New Order took over. He was certainly having difficulty adjusting to the new highsec. He probably hadn't even read the Code yet.
Kintaro Kitsuji > A lot of stuff, spread around?
Kintaro Kitsuji > I have a citadel in Seil for my corp.
William Bell > whats that
Kintaro Kitsuji > Basically a player owned station.
William Bell > ahh ok....any chance of this happening to me again somewhere whereever you're setup at? I just want to mine research and build and sell in peace any ideas?
After being ganked, William feared that he'd accidentally settled in a high-crime neighborhood and wanted to move away. Maybe Kintaro knew a safer area of highsec where he could AFK mine in peace.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Not likely. The system is pretty quiet and I like to wardec anyone that gets uppity.
Kintaro Kitsuji > I was going to offer a freighter pickup for your stuff and bring it here.
William Bell > sounds good. I apparently need protection....you have anything that might be able to haul all my stuff outta here?
William Bell > yeah, I need outta here, you're place have good ore?
The miner had been looking for Scordite, but he struck gold with Kintaro. The dude had it all figured out.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Hah, yeah. If you want, you can contract it all to me on a 1 day deal and I'll pick it up with my Charon and run it here.
Kintaro Kitsuji > It's a 0.6 system with lowsec next door.
William Bell > ok , that should mean decent ore and ore yields, sure I take you up on that but are you going to run away with all my stuff? it's expensive
William Bell > or should I put a colateral on it
Kintaro offered to move all of William's stuff to his new home. Suddenly, William suffered a pang of doubt. What if Kintaro was a scammer?
Kintaro Kitsuji > No. I have no reason to do that. I've got my own stuff, plenty of ISK and I hate gankers too.
William Bell > well I hope I can trust you because starting over......idk if I could take that right now.
William Bell > to much going on with life
Kintaro Kitsuji > I feel you.
In fact, Kintaro had no intention of harming the miner. Actually, he was going to help William adjust by teaching him how to play EVE in 2017.

The first lesson: Always read the fine print.

To be continued...


  1. The beginning of an intriguing story!

  2. I love people who help other people stories!

    1. Like when LvG sucks you off? He "helps" you. Stories for the grandkids for sure!

    2. Look the child beater is here.

  3. I foresee that mr Bell will get an especially valuable lesson. Possessing such advanced knowledge, one can avoid losing even hundreds of trillions!

  4. OK lets see, blog still moderated. Check.

    Good to see your still in line with the rules, continue to do so.

    Trolls win, ALWAYS!

    1. Well, you're still posting, so what's the complaint? Are you mad because you can't spam inane carebear babble?


    2. On the contrary I am quite glad to see your order finally accepting moderation and nerfing as part of your lives.

      Please though stop crying its not becoming of an adult, such as you claim to be.

      Your better,

    3. Look at galaxy pig crying.
      Another code fail.

  5. *yawn* Newbie gets scammed by one of Jamey's slaves from CHODE.

    Once again scraping the bottom of the barrel for blog content.

    1. But here you are giving it hits. KEK

    2. Dear Customer,

      Thank you for your tears! We're excited that this blog post has extracted more delicious lacrimations for your self.

      You are in fact our 100th client and you are eligible for the Bonus Prize of 1bn ISK. All you have to do is contact an Agent of the New Order, get on comms, contract all your stuff in good faith, and we'll double it. Yes, double it with no questions asked!

      In fact, because you're the 100th 100th special client you get a really special prize and we'll triple - yes, TRIPLE - all your worldly goods!

      What's there to lose?

      Call now!

      P.S. We need a contact name to send your isk. As you're posting as a snivelling anonymous coward, we can't send anything at the moment.

      Call now!!!111!!!

    3. Same shit same routine, same always. Nothing new.

  6. The new order can never win without first completing these tests.

    Test of Valour. Prove you are not afraid to die by Coding a valuable ship, and do so in a manner that demonstrates integrity and honesty.

    Test of Wisdom. Correctly answer the almighty Ehnea's questions three. Each question must be answered within 20 seconds. The Questions Three will be different for each code monkey each day.

    Test of Fortitude. Walk a mile in the almighty Ehnea's shoes by becoming a miner. You must continue to mine for an indefinite period of time.

    Remember so long as these tests are incomplete all they do is cry.

  7. Important news:


    Please let me know wich Order pilot is intersted in real dog fights? Just write your name and ill add you!

    Please i will do more dogfights!

  8. Some bitching, perhaps another gank, praise James. Its all the same.

  9. I laughed really hard at this one; thanks James!

    In real life it is - possibly - ok to accept help from a kind stranger. In EVE it is never even sensible to do so. This guy's problem lay in being seduced not by the stranger but by the promise of a shortcut route out of his difficulties.

    Skill-injecting is a shortcut; a tool for the experienced player, and a yawning chasm of doom for the dilettante.

    Billy Bell is about to be offered a lesson in Life..


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