Thursday, August 3, 2017

Fury Management, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Lewak encountered the truth of the age-old saying that "no good deed goes unpunished" when he popped Erikoff Beldrulf's unlicensed Venture and was treated to a torrent of abuse in local chat. Agent Alt 00 stopped by the Hek system and was appalled by Erikoff's real-life threats and racist language.

Though Alt 00 wasn't the one who ganked Erikoff's Venture, her membership in the mighty CODE. alliance made her guilty by association--despite Lewak not being in CODE. himself.

Erikoff needed a permit pretty badly. It was obvious that whatever his plan for EVE was, it wasn't working.

Our Agents offered to help the miner join the New Order family. He chose to pledge allegiance to a different organization instead.

Though miners often accuse our Agents of being like Hitler, the reality is that the New Order is the greatest opponent of Nazism in EVE. By contrast, the Anti-Gankers would embrace the Devil himself if he lost a mining barge.

The carebears' sympathy for Nazism and other forms of extremism makes sense: Their view of the world is upside down.

Erikoff blocked our Agents, made a few new enemies, and blocked some more people. The poor fellow was descending a downward spiral. Luckily, Agent Alt 00 had an alt who wasn't yet blocked. She quickly penned an EVEmail to the miner.

Our Agent made no secret of her disapproval of Erikoff's conduct. But there was a way out:

Having witnessed everything that Erikoff had said and done--starting with his unlicensed mining and ending with his impromptu one-man Nazi rally in Hek--one could be forgiven for thinking Erikoff was a hopeless case. But that's not the way our Agents operate. The New Order is absolutely committed to 100% Code-compliance in highsec. No miner left behind.

Shortly after receiving Alt 00's message, Erikoff unblocked our Agents and invited Lewak to a private convo.

Erikoff's attitude underwent a startling transformation. The proof: An extra 10 million isk in Lewak's wallet.

Erikoff took Alt 00's advice about writing an apology EVEmail to everyone. The miner no longer displayed any desire to rape or murder his fellow EVE players. Erikoff's opinions on the Code were also much improved. What a victory for the New Order and its Code!

Down with the Swastika, up with the mining permit. As always, the Code made highsec--and the world--a better place.


  1. From a tear filled local and fealty to nazis, we get abject grovelling and...

    Erikoff - "is my permit ready, sir?"

    Beautiful. Mission complete.

    But wait...

    "I do this to protect the integrity of me and my associates."

    This disgusting violation of English grammar rules is deeply offensive and disrespectful to all Agents and must not go unpunished.
    It should be phrased "I do this to protect the integrity of my associates and I" as every student knows.

    Erikoff deserves immediate placement on the red pen list and ganked till he squeals.

    1. I believe you are in fact wrong! "X and I" is used when you are the subject of a sentence, whereas "me and X" is used when you are the object, as in "i protect me and my associates".

    2. Whenever in doubt, take away one or the other pronoun (and the 'and' as well, of course). If the sentence still makes sense, the grammar is correct.

      In our example:
      Protect the integrity of me and my associates.

      Take away 'associates':
      Protect the integrity of me.

      Leave out 'me' instead:
      Protect the integrity of me.

      Although the latter might not sound natural, it is still grammatically valid -- as is the former. So there you have it, it was, in fact, correct from the beginning.

  2. hey a happy ending! great story!

  3. How quaint. One of Jamey's slaves threatening to report another player to CCP unless they pay up. CHODE. truly has sunk to yet another low.

    1. How quaint. Some anon read an eve mail that contained no threats and claimed it was a threat. Also, there is no mention of any "CHODE." in this article. You may be thinking of some other alliance/corp.
      Fly Compliant o/

    2. Stay Nazi code.

  4. All this over some cheap venture loss, I love it.

  5. I could not have imagined a better, more happy ending. This warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart.

  6. damn antigankers are failing hard.

  7. New Order egalitarianism has prevailed over racism and fascism once again. Cheers to Agents Alt 00 and Lewak for making highsec a better place.

    1. If this is egalitarianism then why do you treat miners so unequal?


  8. Wow! I didn't see that one coming. Well done Agents!

  9. Oh look the less than 1% still nerfed.
    Trolls still winning.

  10. LOL, you can't make this shit up.


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