I'd like to open this edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag in a different way. A question for all you statistician-aspirants out there: What do you think a highsec miner's odds are of experiencing a medical emergency in the family just prior to being ganked?
...Pretty good, actually. It's amazing how often people go AFK to perform life-saving feats. However, in studying EVEmails like this, I can't help but notice that the miners write with much greater passion and urgency about their lost mining ship than about the alleged medical emergency in their family.
Gankers, always remember to check your contact notifications. A lot of tears get forwarded there.
...And always keep a Russian-to-English translator handy.
Still more believable than all those "I went AFK to help extinguish a fire at an orphanage right before you ganked me" stories.
Regardless of what the math says, I'm convinced that an infinite number of highsec miners typing for an infinite amount of time would still produce nothing but nonsense.
We've been receiving reports of late that when someone gets ganked by a member of the mighty CODE. alliance, the gank recipient is sent an EVEmail from the Anti-Gankers:
In case you're wondering who this Maximilien Robespierre Patrouette fellow is:
His only redeeming quality is that his bio always makes me laugh.
If we don't own highsec, why do our enemies keep dying when they break our laws?
"Fuck this EVE in high heels." Broken English is a beautiful language.
I guess that's one way of putting it.
A report from one of our countless deep cover Agents:
Dear Supreme Protector James 315,
Over the last month I've had an alt in an industrial corp that demonstrated through a war dec from yet another alt that they were foolish and blatantly non-compliant. I saw an opportunity to teach them a lesson in proper high-sec behavior as well as in security. Using one of the few talents I have, being a silver-tongued devil, I managed to get the CEO of said corp to just GIVE me an Orca. He even had to go to low-sec to grab it. It took me a couple of weeks after him saying that to actually get it in my hands today, but the sale of this wretched ship will help fund my efforts in the New Order.
This op started prior to me joining CODE. when I was a lowly pirate, but now the money acquired from it will actually go to a good cause, yours. One can only hope that these miners learn their lesson and buy permits/implement proper security policy.
The CODE always wins. Always! (Bonus points for the use of the rare blue "ALWAYS" logo.)
Maximilien Robespierre Patrouette is an imbecile.ReplyDelete
Buying KRs on -10 characters? Well, I have a Titan to sell you. It's docked in Jita, and only 10 billion ISK.
Plus, a word to the unwise: begging letters are best when short. Max, you don't need ISK to fail daily. Just turn up.
I have some good knives to sell you, I will even put them in their own little knife block for you, don't worry about the pain though because your the block.Delete
"His only redeeming quality is that his bio always makes me laugh."ReplyDelete
I giggled a littleDelete
I giggled a lot.Delete
"Justice" is one of his corp titles in the screenshot. That made me giggle as well.Delete
Oh good laughs all around, I love a good laugh party. Can we get some popcorn, I'll bet the flamethrower I just need someone to hold the bag.Delete
I AM JUST MOTHER FUCKER I WILL SAVE ALL THE MINERSDelete
Maximillion lol. Loved his tears about his idol kalynn shardani. Apparently according to max - talking about kalynn shardani is worse then what kalynn shardani actually did.ReplyDelete
Loved his tears btw. antigankers are failing 😂😂
Prove it. Post the chat log.Delete
Lol.. anonymous bear telling someone to prove something by posting a log. Probably the same anon bear that claims to have a whole bunch of hulks and no permit and has mined for 5 years without losing a ship to Code.Delete
Well do it, prove the little guy wrong, or you scared, doesn't matter if your true or chicken we can always burn everything and have a BBQ. I'll bring the gas and we'll cook us some people/chicken.Delete
I'd like to see the chat logs, too. I mean, it's not like your shy about posting logs any other time, so why this time? Unless, of course, there never was any conversation between you two and you're just making it up in yet another feeble attempt to slander.Delete
Highsec carebear miner tears best tears.ReplyDelete
Anyone's tears are good. let me slice your arms off and have a taste, bet they are the same. You can even taste test them too.Delete
James315, THE MIGHTY CONCORD always wins !!!ReplyDelete
CONCORD Lords over you. CODE is just another hisec alliance
Oh goodie, Jamey has some friends to play with, that's good I was afraid the rumors of him being a ton of alts was true, but now that James has bots programmed by devs to help that changes everything. We have to kill all of the code for botting.Delete
Oh come on now, if you just pay the big bad men the money they want they will leave you alone, at least until you turn your back then its a good old fashioned murder. Of course we will want to be reimbursed for spending our time carving you up like a turkey, so we will need to charge you a butchers fee too. Hey that's how you pay the Code.ReplyDelete
That HAHAHAanon is trying hard. But no matter how hard he tries, he still sounds like a butthurt highsec miner.ReplyDelete
Keep laughing HAHAHAanon, there's real effort in your tears.
I will but if you like my tears then you must know its not loss its laughter. Now come one lets stop all this fighting I'm sure there's a miner you want to fry. I'll get the ketchup.Delete
Now be a good dog go fetch your dinner. Daddy's waiting to eat, serve it with a good vintage boy or you'll be on the plate, I hear dog is eaten well in certain parts of the world.Delete
HAHAHAanon triggered! Just another salty hisec shitter.Delete
Hey HAHAHAanon, tell us more about how you aren't a crying tryhard.Delete
Tell me how you aren't crying, please be specific.Delete
But if you must know I read your butthurt comments and I smile knowing that the code has raped you for every greedy rock dusted penny you ever dug out of space. I'm sorry to tell you but your permit may not be valid very long acting like your too good for the code. But hey, to each their own. Fry you later.
Why does Maxipad want killrights on a bunch of -10.0 sec status pilots?ReplyDelete
Because he wants to PAD their kills.Delete
The James Stuff always wins!ReplyDelete
Oh yes I sell lots of James stuff, I make a killing.Delete
Did the Saviour just imply that highsec miners are lower than animals? XDReplyDelete
No he just informed you of that. Pay attention prof.Delete