I'd like to open this edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag in a different way. A question for all you statistician-aspirants out there: What do you think a highsec miner's odds are of experiencing a medical emergency in the family just prior to being ganked?
...Pretty good, actually. It's amazing how often people go AFK to perform life-saving feats. However, in studying EVEmails like this, I can't help but notice that the miners write with much greater passion and urgency about their lost mining ship than about the alleged medical emergency in their family.
Gankers, always remember to check your contact notifications. A lot of tears get forwarded there.
...And always keep a Russian-to-English translator handy.
Still more believable than all those "I went AFK to help extinguish a fire at an orphanage right before you ganked me" stories.
Regardless of what the math says, I'm convinced that an infinite number of highsec miners typing for an infinite amount of time would still produce nothing but nonsense.
We've been receiving reports of late that when someone gets ganked by a member of the mighty CODE. alliance, the gank recipient is sent an EVEmail from the Anti-Gankers:
In case you're wondering who this Maximilien Robespierre Patrouette fellow is:
His only redeeming quality is that his bio always makes me laugh.
If we don't own highsec, why do our enemies keep dying when they break our laws?
"Fuck this EVE in high heels." Broken English is a beautiful language.
I guess that's one way of putting it.
A report from one of our countless deep cover Agents:
Dear Supreme Protector James 315,
Over the last month I've had an alt in an industrial corp that demonstrated through a war dec from yet another alt that they were foolish and blatantly non-compliant. I saw an opportunity to teach them a lesson in proper high-sec behavior as well as in security. Using one of the few talents I have, being a silver-tongued devil, I managed to get the CEO of said corp to just GIVE me an Orca. He even had to go to low-sec to grab it. It took me a couple of weeks after him saying that to actually get it in my hands today, but the sale of this wretched ship will help fund my efforts in the New Order.
This op started prior to me joining CODE. when I was a lowly pirate, but now the money acquired from it will actually go to a good cause, yours. One can only hope that these miners learn their lesson and buy permits/implement proper security policy.
The CODE always wins. Always! (Bonus points for the use of the rare blue "ALWAYS" logo.)