Friday, September 15, 2017

Tears out of Five Thousand, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Bot-aspirant miner Tytanica treated Agent Larsulrik Napsterbane to a bizarre display of crypto tears and profane spam. Larsulrik cautioned the miner against this course, but Tytanica flatly ignored our Agent's wisdom.


Tytanica's signature move involved ending her spam with "20/5000" or "27/5000". When she sensed that Agent Larsulrik was no longer paying attention to their private convo, the miner switched over to EVEmails.
Re: Confiscation Report: Josameto
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 19:54
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

You're a rag
And your mother is a fucking born whore
The benefit of EVEmails over private chats is that there's a more relaxed pace. Each participant gets to spend extra time drafting their remarks. But in Tytanica's case, this didn't result in more intelligence or clarity. If anything, it was more of the same.
From: Larsulrik Napsterbane
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:16
To: Tytanica

Miner, calm down.
Buy a permit, or lose another pod?
Larsulrik hoped that the miner would really focus on what he was telling her, rather than busying herself with preparations for more spam.
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:18
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

Your mother is fucking a jean and you fucking rag
However, Tytanica stuck to her guns. Then, unfortunately, the situation escalated:
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:20
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

Find you in the real world
In light of recent events, comments such as these must be given extra scrutiny. Luckily, our Agents have a talent for clearing up ambiguity:
From: Larsulrik Napsterbane
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:21
To: Tytanica

And then what?
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:25
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

12/5000
Cool nothing :)
But when it came to Tytanica, even our Agent's talents were pushed to their limits. Her crypto tears were a challenge to decipher. And just when one strange EVEmail was interpreted, it was followed by another:
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:29
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

Cool to see in real
It was necessary to propose this before I lost the implant
By this point, Agent Larsulrik wasn't interested in dealing with Tytanica on her own puzzling terms. He cut through the nonsense and got right to the point:
From: Larsulrik Napsterbane
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:31
To: Tytanica

I am proposing it before you lose the next implant. Consider the last one a warning.
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:33
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

See you in real time, your location is already known
good night
The miner broke off the conversation with a threatening message, but then immediately sent another pair of EVEmails:
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:35
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

You pay me 200 ml isk and after the case
for implants
From: Tytanica
Sent: 2017.08.25 20:40
To: Larsulrik Napsterbane

See you in real
Tytanica had every intention of collecting reimbursement from our Agent. Apparently she planned to meet up with him and make her case in person. What she didn't realize is that she was going to see Larsulrik again (in-game) much sooner than expected.


A minute later, Larsulrik jumped into the Josamento system and was immediately greeted by his old friend.


Our Agent had spent a decent amount of time with Tytanica over the past two days, but he was no closer to understanding the miner. Our Agents aren't in the habit of giving up, though. After yesterday's post went live on MinerBumping, Larsulrik renewed his correspondence with Tytanica and asked for her comments. He received this reply:


Curious. But at the end of the day, an enigmatic Goofus is still a Goofus.

18 comments:

  1. It is quite evident that, rather like the person who posts nonsense on the minerbumping blog, this miners life has not turned out as successfully as they once envisaged it would.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing is nonsense its just that you haven't made sense of it yet. Its ok to admit it, sometimes even the mad have to take a moment to remember why they said what.


      HAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thanks for the reminder. The Miners' rule is to follow the Code!

      Delete
    2. Miners should obey the rules!

      Delete
    3. Miners should be payed to play to Code rules

      Delete
    4. Pay, pay for, just shut up and go mine, your gonna find someone sooner or later who just wants to give you a good BLOW job.


      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  3. Yeah.

    Hisec miners are the worst that humanity has to offer. Violent and nasty is the norm for those types.

    When is it ever acceptable to threaten anyone over a game?

    If you see tytanica, or any other criminal breaking the rules so flagrantly, please alert your nearest ganker, they can be found very easily by checking zkillboard for the system you find offenders in. Instant karma for you superstitious folk. And remember screen shots are the lulz.

    Criminals needs to be sent a clear message: We won't tolerate threats to good honest EvE players.

    It's time to take out the trash, just do it legal. If that retard dies in game enough times he will quit, and our community will be safer and better overall. We are actually doing those people a favor by helping them realize they were playing the wrong game the wrong way. Talk about fail.

    Plus it's fun as hell to blap those types because they get really ragey, almost to absurdity. Everyone wins!

    Do your part, kill a miner today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. \o/ Praise James 315! \o/

      Delete
    2. Sounds just like all my friends, nasty as hell and greedy too, they just love killing people and emptying out their bank accounts. And then there are friends of mine who like to tell the people that if they pay they will be fine, but they kill them anyway because its fun. Either way its all in good fun right.


      HAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  4. "Your mother is fucking a jean"

    hope we are not talking Levis. ouch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Billy Jean is not my lover,


      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
    2. HI Aeonaa, I was stumped too when I read that.

      It's possible that the person's 1st language is not English. That might explain the odd placing of the emphatic/contemptuous adjective 'fucking' before the indefinite article attached to 'jean', rather than after it: "Your mother is a fucking jean" would make a little more sense to an English speaker.

      But 'jean'? If the speaker were French, he/she might have directly translated the US slang word 'john' (for toilet - John Harrington invented the flushing version) into French, rather than use his own and known word 'les chiottes'. Note the lower-case 'j' of 'john')

      All that equals a lot of 'if's; here's another. If the above applies, the writer might have meant to say:

      "Your mother is a fucking john". Or perhaps not; I suppose it doesn't really matter...

      Delete
    3. In todays society its okay for a mother to be a father too, makes Christmas shopping for your parents that much easier.


      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  5. Eve was made for crazy people to keep them fro spilling out into the real world and pollute the gene pool with their hate and madness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Think about that for a moment, there are that many crazy people playing a game and being occupied for a time, what happens when the game ends. Us crazies are still there.

      So would this be like Eve is a dam and the crazies the water. When the game breaks the dam breaks and the crazies just rush out in full force.

      I cant wait.


      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
    2. I note that the gene pool from which you were fished had already become contaminated. What a pity.

      Delete
    3. Nothing interesting ever came from a clean pool.


      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete

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