Tuesday, February 13, 2018

The Orcas of Nakugard, Part 11

Previously, on MinerBumping... Absolute power. What started as a campaign to rid Nakugard of Orca bots resulted in Agent Alt 00 assembling an extraordinary fleet of ganker alts. Despite her total control over the locals, Alt 00 wasn't corrupted, not even a little.

When an Orca explodes, a second star illuminates the system--a star that shines with the light of the Code.

Thanks to the Talos fleet's carnage, it had been weeks since the last Orca was sighted in Nakugard. When one did eventually enter the system and begin mining ice, Alt 00 knew exactly what to do.

The Orca flesh was just as savory as Alt 00 remembered.

If the Orca pilot had been willing to speak, she might've whined about not being warned about the Code. Of course, the wrecks of all those earlier Orcas were plenty of warning for anyone paying attention.

Despite all of the joys that Alt 00 had shared with Nakugard--the highs and the higher highs (there are no lows in the New Order)--many of the miners didn't seem to be rooting for our Agent.

Alt 00 perceived that some miners felt nostalgic for the old days, when they could mine AFK without worrying about gank fleets.

It was as our Agent predicted: She could kill the miners and force them to comply with the Code, but not all miners could be made to love the Code.

Pharoah Strange had witnessed many of the Code's everyday miracles. None of the explosions had warmed his heart. It remained as cold as the ice he used to mine.

The fact was, some miners refused to be redeemed or reformed. They were bot-aspirants to the core.

Our Agent only knew of one way to deal with bot-aspirants: Punish them for their disobedience. Pharaoh sensed that he'd be due for a good ganking if he remained in the system for too long, so he took his leave.

Incredibly, a Russian Orca bot entered Nakugard soon after the previous Orca had broken Nakugard's weeks-long streak. Unlike certain computer game companies I could mention, Alt 00 knew how to deal with bots.

The occasion was ripe for a celebration of highsec's Order, Code, and Saviour. Alt 00's alts paraded through the system, each one enthusiastically waving an Orca killmail. Two questions, dear reader: First, who doesn't love a parade?

Second, what celebration would be complete without fireworks?

All in all, it was an extraordinary achievement. Everyone who had visited Nakugard in the previous month could see exactly what the Code was all about.

Nevertheless, a carebear's empty boast at the conclusion of the parade must remind us all to remain vigilant. Our fight is not over yet.


  1. hahahahahahahaha you must have missed it last year when Jason jusion stole 250 billion isk aswell. damn these anonymous posters are new

  2. Can I hang out wit Alt 00? She sounds like cool people to have a pint with...

    1. you think a keyboard warrior like that would ever leave their house? god no then the orca's have free reign

    2. 156shitteranon spilling salt like a true PHag and projecting like a mofo.

      Show us where Alt00's catalyst touched you.

    3. actually never have nor will they be since im code compliant and you read it again with a more postive note you might come to the conclusion that i said its a bad thing if alt goes out drinking since the carebears would have free reign.

      please show me where you lost you way "agent" you might have lost your path in search of carebears

  3. That reddit post should read

    Line member who had his neck wound in.

  4. Yay! What a spellbinding series this has been.

  5. Oh, what do you know, some highsec ag shitter who will never be able to understand OR play EVE properly is crying in local about "virtual" fascism. This is where faildo comes from.

    Too fucking stupid to play this game but logging in and shitting it up anyway. CCP was smart enough to allow pvp anywhere, even in highsec, and that retard thinks he knows better.

    I say "thanks Hilmar!" At least when that idiot cries in local the only safe place for him to be is in the station. Now, if we could just get walking in stations and and sidearms (like in the trailer from 10 years ago!!) we could make it even harder for that shitter to whine all day about imaginary nazzies. Good people can't even play in highsec without some chicken shitter following them around crying and blaspheming.

    Don't forget the "salt auto detect decloaking device". The SADDD module for finding shitters like thomas that hide in space while crying.

    Hey strange, where's your pvp sandbox mmorpg that's more fun to play? Oh yea, you're just an ignorant ag shitter. Oh well, join NOL!

  6. An absolute perfect ending to one of the two best series this blog has ever created. Praise James \o/

    Alt 00 you're an exemplar agent and your combat photography is equally stunning.

  7. Nothing quite as salty as Russian tears

  8. In fact, I'm happy that saltysalah kicked the 'shitters'. It gave me an opportunity to join a real ganker corp. The Professor has decided to tutor me personally in 'how not to act like a sperg' 101, and an advanced course on 'reformed shitters; sperg waiting to happen'.

    Also I will be reading the Code daily until I no longer have the urge to act like an adolescent. That may never be something I can cure, the shitter runs deep in my soul, but with prayer and help from the Code I hope to at least not act like kip wanker and friends. What a group of faildos, if I do say so myself! XD

    I will continue to serve the Savior! Highsec is worth fighting for! And don't worry, salah is my alt and he'll be back to killing for CODE. as soon as he realizes he will always be a limpwristed beta when compared to Loyal! Now there's a real ganker! I never ment any of that shit I said in the ag channels, you guys know I was just "undercover" right? My only fault was not being able to seperate myself from salah completely, but those ag scum never suspected a thing! Lol those idiot carebears can all get rekt!

    Praise James \o/

    1. [Redacted comment for spergness.]

    2. 'how not to act like a sperg' 101, and an advanced course on 'reformed shitters; sperg waiting to happen'

      That is actually really funny. XD

    3. But not nearly as funny as the part about Salah being an alt of faildo. Salah was a million times better of an agent. Hopefully he will come back to CODE.

  9. Mate, who else would act like hillary clinton?

    Get over it, Trump won.

  10. Aboriginals really need to stay off the keyboard :P


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