It was a truly terrifying week for the bots and bot-aspirants of highsec. Everywhere they turned, the valiant Agents of the New Order stood ready to oppose them. The Anti-Gankers, fleeing in panic whenever they were seen at all (which was, admittedly, a very infrequent occurrence), were unable to save the carebears from total destruction. That's an unbiased picture of how things went during the week of June 10th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 16th @ 23:59 EVEtime.
Late last week, Angela Belvar managed to lose 1.6 billion isk on a Retriever. When you look at the fit, it's not obvious how Angela lost so much. There was a standard fail-fit yield tank, and some particularly bad rigs. But where's the bling? Agent Malbona Pomon discovered Angela's deepest, darkest secret hidden away in her ship's cargo:
Those pesky Michis! I guess Angela didn't know how to plug it in. It's also amusing to note that Angela was mining with tech I strip miners even though she had tech IIs in the cargo.
If you want to lose billions of isk hauling in highsec but you don't own a freighter, you can try Iskander Fireseed's method: Stuffing a bunch of cargo in a Deep Space Transport and going AFK. Agents Gandor Ironfist, iZaEaRl, Spazmongloid, Mongochicken, and Elvir didn't bring quite enough firepower to destroy a freighter, but thanks to the DST "meta", they didn't need to.
Bot-aspirants don't know the meaning of the word "elite". Our Agents do. They live it each and every day.
Countless freighters died in the fires set by our Agents this week. The freighter pilots, like BL00DYH3LL, didn't know what hit them--until they returned to their keyboards, that is. Agents Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector HongMei, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Richard, Australian Excellence, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Stroheim, Ding Dong MingMong, and Trump The King rode forth into glorious battle and delivered victory to the Code.
Carebears love to complain about our Agents "shooting ships that can't shoot back". As the case of Evan Cunningham shows, there's not a ship lethal enough to defend a carebear from an Agent. This time, Agent Krig Povelli managed to win a duel against a faction battleship. Evan used a rack of energy vampires instead of guns, but hey, that was his own choice.
Ragnarok Monster offers us another example of a battleship who bit the dust. He, too, had an eclectic fit. Then he had a screaming fit, after he realized he was defeated by Agents Lucy Inthesky, Alt 00, Aaaarrgg, Max August Zorn, Ernst Steinitz, YouDoneMessedUp, and Marcus Luttrell Khan.
Top damage went to the Orca. I wonder if those miners are starting to regret all the times they begged CCP to buff Orcas?
When a carebear loses a pod in bubble-free highsec, you know something went wrong. Not only did Sumeramikoto lose his pod in highsec, he lost it in a 1.0 security system. Agent Apo123 didn't fear dying to CONCORD; he had no reason to. He knew his cause was righteous.
Sumeramikoto lost a bunch of expensive implants that day. In truth, though, a carebear always loses his implants on the day he plugs them in. It's only a matter of time before an Agent comes along and makes the loss official.