Wednesday, June 20, 2018
If you enjoy receiving complaints, excuses, and tears of remarkable diversity (but usually written in broken English), then becoming an Agent of the New Order might be a good career choice for you.
Akame Nightshade only recently joined the mighty CODE. alliance. Though new to EVE, she is already imposing her will upon the miners of highsec. That's the power of the Code.
Reading a tearmail can be tricky. Miners have enough trouble formulating ideas, much less expressing them.
Per standard Agent protocol, if an Agent isn't satisfied with the quality of a miner's message, he or she can request that the miner try again. And if the miner fails to do so, that's another violation of the Code.
...However, our Agents generally become fluent in miner-speak within a short time.
The most passive-aggressive miners are afraid to send EVEmails; they may attempt to communicate using other means.
Since miners prefer solitude and silence, most aren't used to communicating with other players. A miner can spend years in EVE without speaking to anyone but our Agents.
One of the most important things for a miner to learn is that they can purchase a mining permit at an insanely affordable price.
...They may not appreciate it at first, but our Order has sold thousands of permits. They all "get" it eventually.
Carebears are a hostile bunch. Angry words are their only weapon, though. After threatening our Agents, they'll complain about being helpless newbies who aren't able to shoot back.
Miners are a tangled mess of contradictions and dysfunctions. Few are capable of recognizing they need help.
...Yet the excitement of experiencing PvP in a PvP game is enough to jostle some of them out of their usual routines. For them, enlightenment begins with an explosion.