Monday, June 25, 2018

Kills of the Week

I hope you're still feeling energized from yesterday's Code Day celebration. Because, my friend, the party's just getting started. You'll see what I mean. From the week of June 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime...

crashnbrun crashed and brunned in a 10 billion isk jump freighter in Jita and then got himself smartbombed by Agent brainlet--adding another 3.5 billion isk to the butcher's bill.

I could talk about these implants, but I know you're still preoccupied with a burning question: Why are we starting this post with a pod kill? Yes, it's highly irregular, and yes, something is up. We must read on.

Addonic X lost the obligatory blingy Marauder with the obligatory capacitor tank. For some reason, people bring these kinds of ships to fight in Uedama. If they don't intend to fight, then I suppose they're accidentally throwing billions of isk down the drain. Come to think of it, that does sound more like the bot-aspirants we usually deal with. Addonic was annihilated by Agents Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Josh Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, brainlet, and HSM Rear Admiral.

L Uta lost 9.1 billion isk while trying to autopilot through Niarja. His Occator fit is a strange one. But I suppose there's no guide book on how to lose a bunch of money in a Deep Space Transport; it's done solely by instinct. Agents Alarik Maleus, Pazzesqo, Nam Plau, kali laska, Votre Dieu, Lovchi, Vulpeculla, Sil Ver, and Bastian Mart obeyed their own instincts by incinerating the carebear.

Now we're getting down to it. adrinia threw away a staggering 39.3 billion isk by forgetting to purchase a 10 million isk permit. She was punished for her crime by Agents Narl' Amhar, Zont Shooter, Lovchi, Pazzesqo, Alarik Maleus, Nam Plau, Bastian Mart, kali laska, and Sumail Serine, who executed this gank in a truly unusual manner.

The New Order's Russian contingent used a fleet of gank Vindicators. Why? Two reasons: First, because they could. Second, because carebears in jump freighters deserve to die.

Karan S'Jat should've known something was terribly wrong when she was surrounded by a massive gank armada of just over 50 ships, including countless Taloses. To be honest, though, she was probably far, far away from her keyboard at the time. Now, before I list the names of the members of the gank armada, I want to say something else about warning signs. Have you noticed that each kill featured so far has increased in value? Karan's Ark was worth 45 billion isk. We still have one kill to go.

The other thing is, Karan's jump freighter--a triple-bulkheaded jump freighter, mind you--was ganked in Jita. Earlier in this post, I mentioned that crashnbrun's pod was popped in Jita after he lost a jump freighter there. You see, our Agents made a surprise attack on Jita's freighters and jump freighters this past week. As usual, the bot-aspirants were taken completely by surprise. The level of carnage was almost indescribable.

Enough foreshadowing. Let us give due credit for the magnificent Ark kill to Agents Dead Pink Whale, Dead Red Whale, Dead Orange Whale, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Shardani, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector AynRand, Jake Kusion, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector BokChoy, Dead Black Whale, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Aruka, Joseph Kusion, Dead Brown Whale, Tax Collector Kimi, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Buck, Joel Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Fuemi, Dead Purple Whale, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector Stroheim, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Justin Kusion, Tax Collector Alison, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Johnathan Kusion, Trump The King, Pod Destroyer Molly, Shanade Rozei, Christine Rozei, Katy Rozei, Lagatha Rozei, Ivanka Rozei, Sherri Rozei, Ruby Rozei, Tax Collector Larry, Dead Yellow Whale, Jason Kusion, Baron Rozei, Tawny Rozei, Amanda Quinn, Lobo El Lobo, and Ektallion.

And then...

With Code Day 2018 just minutes away, this happened:

Go ahead, take a moment to read and reread the isk value on Raya Charles's jump freighter. That's not a typo or a zKillboard valuing error. That's a 331.9 billion isk kill. And it's all thanks to the Code.

Agents Australian Excellence, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector Richard, Jackson Kusion, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Aruka, Johnathan Kusion, Pod Destroyer Molly, Taxman Daniel, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jason Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Hill, HSM MasterChief, Dr Hattrick, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, and HSM Fleet Admiral brought Raya Charles to justice. She deserved every isk of her loss. Think about how many mining permits she could've purchased with that money. Instead, she wasted it on this:

Four faction Fortizars were being carried in that ship, and now they're gone. As you can imagine, this kill has generated a lot of buzz throughout New Eden, and the word on the street is that the faction Fortizars were owned by Triumvirate. or possibly some other nullsec group. To Raya Charles, Triumvirate., and anyone else who would dare set foot in our precious highsec without permission:

Welcome to Jita, owned and operated by the mighty CODE. alliance.

Oh, and Happy Code Day.


Agent Trump The King created some artwork to commemorate the extraordinary kill:


  1. Loot fairy said no.

    Thanks for the art Agent Trump The King!

  2. Congratulations on the extraordinary freighter kill! It's such a shame that the pilot didn't buy a Code mining permit.

    The artwork is a profound work that captures the moment perfectly.

  3. Holy shit that Nomad! And in Jita ffs?


    Silly carebears, too lazy to make 3 trips? Greed gonna get ya.


  4. wow just wow. antigankers failing so hard right now

  5. If those faction Fortizars really belonged to Triumvirate, then their leadership should definitely purchase mining permits for all Triumvirate members and their alts. Why risk a repeat of this crushing PvP defeat?

  6. Lol third world shitters

  7. That drop just makes you want to headbutt a CCP employee until they shit out their teeth.

    1. That drop makes me wanna buy CCP Guard a beer.....>:)

  8. Weirdly enough that post makes more sense that the ones the carebears usually leave...….

  9. Where was AG? Oh wait, they don't even try anymore xD

  10. When it comes to artwork I guess ...

    ... you can't trump the Trump the King.


    I show myself out.

  11. Meh seems made up

  12. Odd... If Jason and Loyal had a kid together... But Loyal's been banned
    RIP... So This must be fake news. Good try Trump... (Alts !=)

  13. Late to the party but that is one astonishing JF kill.


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