Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Dear Agent Guybertini
Agent Guybertini is a Knight of the Order. Where other elite PvP'ers might care only for killboard statistics, Guybertini takes greater pride in the virtues of honour, valour, and chivalry.
But the bot-aspirants of highsec do not. If you can't tie a specific isk value to honour and chivalry, they must have no value at all, they think.
Here's the thing, though: Guybertini strongly believes these bot-aspirants can be saved. And in reforming the carebears, in rebuilding their character from the ground up and teaching them how to play EVE properly, highsec can be saved.
I've written before that the New Order will win because of its infinite endurance. Guybertini gets it.
If you look at the history of nullsec, you see a lot of villainy and betrayal. People sell out their own allies and leave them to die. You know what's impressive about the Agents of the New Order? They show compassion to their own enemies. We treat our foes better than most people treat their friends.
The fact that our kindness so often goes under-appreciated makes it all the more impressive.
But if we weren't so amazing and inspiring, we'd never have been able to change highsec as much as we have.
On a routine patrol of the Jaschercis system, Guybertini discovered Tainted Dragon mining in one of the most bizarre and unnatural Retriever fits I've ever seen. Guybertini gave Tainted Dragon a Christmas present by assisting him in the disposal of the Retriever. Like all good Christmas presents, it was a surprise.
Guybertini sent Tainted Dragon an EVEmail with some helpful tips on fitting a better Retriever. In particular, he pointed out the empty "mining permit" slot. TD rejected his advice, but didn't say specifically how he disagreed with it. That's a thing people do when they've lost the argument.
TD was now broke, or so he claimed. Guybertini was unimpressed. What about all of the blood money TD had made while illegally mining? Guybertini rightly called TD out on his "'woe is me, I am penniless' pauper schtick".
TD claimed the New Order had turned day-to-day living into "bankruptcy and despair". Then he announced the imminent destruction of the New Order at the hands of an army of "10s of thousands of miners". Since this EVEmail was sent over a month ago, I think it's safe to assume that the miners of highsec will, in fact, lay down to our "capitalist piggly bullshit". That's a relief!
Tainted Dragon abruptly ended the budding pen pals' relationship by dismissing the Code and repeating his warning that the New Order's days are numbered. I agree with TD on one point: The New Order's days are numbered. The only question is, can anyone count to a number that high?