Tuesday, January 14, 2014

New Order Agents Cleared of Wrongdoing

On occasion, a carebear will accuse one or more Agents of the New Order of improperly enforcing the Code. All such accusations are treated as seriously as they deserve to be. And so far, every single Agent has been vindicated.

You might recall Hikari Kirigaya's complaints, which I mentioned in an earlier post. On instinct alone, I was able to dismiss the carebear's accusations as groundless. That's how good I've gotten at this.

Nevertheless, the Agents in question immediately responded to Hikari's charges by producing evidence of their good conduct. The story began as Agents Ophidia Black and Lenda Shinhwa were enforcing the Code by destroying Bendai Schrodinger's Mackinaw.
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Saatuban
Bendai Schrodinger > well, shit...
Ophidia Black > we used cats to kill shrodinger. Ironic much?
Bendai Schrodinger > there went months of work... thanks for that
Lenda Shinhwa > Could have been saved with only a 10mil isk permit
Bendai Schrodinger > yea screw you
Bendai was upset, but our heroes managed to calm him down. Just another day in highsec.
Lenda Shinhwa > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
Bendai Schrodinger > go right ahead... if you can get to me in the middle of nullsec, you deserve it lol
Lenda Shinhwa > Its ok. You don't have to make up stories to feel better. A permit will do that for you.
Ophidia Black > Im curious to know, if you have access to the good ore in null, why are you mining up here?
Bendai Schrodinger > because i was up here durring christmas to get some blueprints from Jita, and a war broke out, so our jump freighter cant get to me until its over
Bendai Schrodinger > so I figured "why not mine while I'm here"
Ophidia Black > Kill: Bendai Schrodinger (Mackinaw) is why
Bendai, like a lot of residents of nullsec--or lowsec, or wormhole space--spends all his time mining in highsec. Our Agents have no biases. They treated Bendai like the rest of the criminals they have to deal with. Then they moved on to another system and destroyed another illegal Mackinaw.

After witnessing the AFK Mackinaw go kablooey, Hikari spoke up. The initial signs weren't good. She was dismissive of the New Order right out of the gate. Remember, Hikari later told me that she was considering becoming a New Order Agent at the time. Sure.

Hikari stirred up rebellious sentiments in local by challenging the wisdom of our permit sales. For an alleged Agent-aspirant, it's interesting that she couldn't think of anything good to say about the New Order.

Then Hikari began spreading disinformation about me, and calling me a "kid". The Miner Bingo squares only began to light up.

Despite being aware that my main doesn't have a -10 security status, Hikari was unaware that I am not in an NPC corp. Yet she would've needed to view my profile to see my security status. Clearly, she was no innocent miner. She was a rebel, through and through.

At this point, our Agents had heard enough anti-Order propaganda from the permit-less miner. They decided to act. They suicide ganked Hikari's speed-tanked Retriever. Would she give them a "gf" in local?

Hikari bristled. But she shrugged off the loss. Like the rest of the highsec miners, she wasn't really a highsec miner.

Robbed of her Retriever, Hikari now felt comfortable venting her rage against the New Order. She condemned us for chasing newbies away from EVE. Yeah, she was totally a fan of ours until the Agents mistreated her.

After marking up a few more Miner Bingo squares, Hikari flounced from the conversation. Later, her corp received a wardec, and she blamed the New Order for silencing dissent.

Obviously our Agents were right about everything, and Hikari was wrong about everything. The evidence merely validated my initial, instinct-based investigation. But this wouldn't be the final word on Hikari. No, it was time for carebear karma to kick in.

You see this? It's a 1.1 billion isk Machariel that Hikari lost a few days later. You might assume she was killed by one of those nasty wardeccers. Not quite. In fact, Hikari managed to get herself CONCORDed by randomly attacking someone's Legion in highsec. This is one of the pricier gank ships I've seen. Needless to say, the Legion survived.

So the story had a happy ending. But you know, some carebears need two visits from the karma fairy.

Several hours after losing her first Machariel, Hikari went to Amarr to shop for a replacement. When she undocked in her shiny new 3 billion isk Machariel, someone activated the kill right that had been earned when she tried to gank that Legion earlier in the day. Twenty-one random Amarr citizens were only too happy to pile on.

Case closed.


  1. This is priceless.

    Idiot tries to gank in a Mach, fails.

    Idiot buys new Mach, GOES TO AMARR, doesn't check to see if the killright has been made global (it was), loses second Mach on the undock.


    ---Mike Adoulin

  2. Poor Bendai.

    Not only is his killboard quite pathetic (https://zkillboard.com/character/93206979/) and direct evidence of his bot-aspirancy, but his Corp doesn't even have a single nullsec kill in sight (https://zkillboard.com/corporation/98161766/).

    Must have been some war in their part of null. cough...cough. Just another lying miner

  3. oh god, karma can be so satisfying sometimes :)

  4. Ophidia Black > we used cats to kill shrodinger. Ironic much?

    Best quote in article! Ophidia rocks :)

    I literally laughed out loud at this

    1. *bows* Thank you good sir, glad you enjoyed it! :)

    2. I too laughed out loud, then my eyes went cross for some time. Great stuff!


  5. "New Order Agents Cleared of Wrongdoing"

    Now thats the sort of news clipping an officer of the law puts in his career scrapbook. I know its going in mine.

    1. You've hit on a great idea.

      A printed and bound luxury edition annual collection of MinerBumping blog posts, interspersed with commentary and footnotes from agents involved and hopefully the elucidated and reformed 'victims'.

      Please please look in to this.

  6. "we used cats to kill shrodinger. Ironic much?"

    HAHAHA this is pure win.

    "there went months of work... thanks for that"

    Since when does it take months for work for a null sec resident to buy a new mack?

    1. when you get examples of others losing back to back machs, that could make it hard to replace a pack of gum. i cant say that either one is the sharpest tool in the shed, only that they are both definitely tools.

  7. Ophidia Black > we used cats to kill shrodinger. Ironic much?

    I havent even finished the article and I'm already laughing my ass off at this. Absolutely priceless.


  8. Looks like Hikari got kicked out of her corp after that first mach loss.

  9. Posting to confirm that the Shrodinger/cat pun is one of the best to ever hit the pages of minerbumping. Well done Ophidia!

  10. what's up with those mach fits?

  11. I will bet that the first kill is not a gank but a fuck up while in an Incursion site. Maybe the safety was set red or they tried to gank while in an Incursion fleet (why else would there be Sansha damage?

    Either way funny story.

  12. >using t1 machariel fits

    jesus christ
    literally. just.


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