Sunday, January 12, 2014

Kills of the Week

If you're a carebear and you're on the fence about getting a New Order permit, then you've come to the right place. Every kill featured this week is a Goofus. You don't want to be like the carebears you're going to read about today. Here we go: Kills of the Week for January 5th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 11th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



ShadowStrike sounds like the name of a deadly ninja assassin or something. Close, but not quite--he's a highsec miner. No doubt ShadowStrike had greater ambitions when he first started playing EVE. Agents loyalanon and Sophia Soprano sought to rekindle those ambitions when they blew up his 1 billion isk Mackinaw and a 1.2 billion isk pod. Let's hope it worked, because the whole "blingy miner in a 0.5 system" thing isn't cutting it.



If killmails could talk. "No! Look away, I'm hideous!" is what this one would say. Smow Ambrella's mining Gnosis was vomit-inducing. Agents Quinn Barviainen and PanzarPanda held their noses and dealt with the creature. Smow Ambrella didn't say anything until he was paid another visit and lost his Covetor...


With no Gnosis or Covetor to contain him, Smow let loose the monster within.


In just 9 seconds, Smow decided he would be an enemy of the Code. Talk about judging a book by its cover. Miners, for best results, read the Code. Then read it again.


At this point, I think we would descend into a debate about whether a mother of a bitch is also a bitch. So let's get back to the kills.



liberty, who starred in a recent MinerBumping post, lost a Drake to Agent Wolf Soprano. Wolf promptly followed it up by killing another liberty Drake an hour and a half later. I don't actually have anything to say about this, other than the fact that it's funny when liberty loses a ship, or, as in this case, two ships.



Xian Avery fit his Tengu for cargo and promptly went AFK in a 0.5 system. Agents loyalanon, Cadica Do'Urden, Luck Of-The-Irish, and Sophia Soprano were alerted to the crime and destroyed the ship. Doesn't anyone outside the New Order actually use combat ships for combat anymore?



Rantaplan declared himself for the rebellion and was swiftly brought to justice by Agents Anta Isimazu, loyalanon, greg215, Luck Of-The-Irish, Victor Von Vyvorant, Binary 0001, Binary 0010, Binary 0011, Binary 0100, Binary 0101, Binary 0110, Binary 0111, and Binary 1000.

Rantaplan also lost a 715 million isk pod, for a total loss of over a billion isk. Two observations. First, the pun: The carebear no doubt reacted to this loss by ranting and raving about the New Order. Rantaplan should do a lot less rantin' and a lot more plannin'.

Second observation. The presence of 8 different Binary alts on this kill might raise a few rebels' eyebrows. However, there's no similarity to be found between multiboxing ganker alts and multiboxing miner alts. Killing bot-aspirants is never a bot-aspirant activity; an aspirancy divided against itself cannot stand. And as I've said before, multiboxing ganker alts is like reprogramming the Arnold Schwarzenegger terminator to hunt other terminators. By the end of the journey, he's more human than most humans.



Finally, the pod of the week: uBoy Amatin's 1.9 billion isk capsule was smashed by resident pod-eater Agent D400. By now everyone in highsec should know the rule: Buy a Michi's, get a salvo of bullets in your brain.

16 comments:

  1. Blue mining lasers. I'd forgotten that they even existed.

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  2. the binary characters are 2cute

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    1. BeBopAReBop RhubarbPieJanuary 13, 2014 at 5:58 PM

      No no, I'm pretty sure Sabriz was correct. 10cute.

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    2. There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

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  3. You do not have to judge the code book by it's cover, you can judge it by it's smell, one horrible odor emanates from that book, it can be detected at 1000 meters...

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    1. The Code is something that transcends pages and ink, friend. If your physical copy of the Code has deteriorated -- such as could happen if you were using its pages to catch your bodily emissions so as to hide them from prying eyes -- then I suggest you download a brand-new copy of the Code from the following link:

      http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html

      Regardless of how you print and bind your copy of the Code, or how you treat (or mistreat) it afterwards, the Code is the Code. I do sincerely hope, however, that you did not imply that you are using your copy for personal gratification. What a terrible waste of good paper.

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    2. My optimal range is a little longer than that.

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  4. As much as I love the New Order, I hate isboxer, so no luv for Binary from me (I'm sure he'll lose a lot of sleep over that...) :(

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    1. I too hate isboxer. This is a case of using the carebear's tools against them, much like the closing of one man corps to avoid wardecs. With any luck the carebears will rise up to complain about binary and other gankers using isboxer and CCP will ban isboxer altogether. Botting, and bot-aspirancy, among the miners will take a serious hit that day.

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    2. so as long as its being used for purposes you deem ok its fine but anything else is unacceptable. Figures you close minded people would think that.

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  5. So does the New Order buyout all michi implants for relisting so they can keep track who buys them? If not it certainly seems like a good idea.

    After all the drug dealers know best which addicts need professional help.

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  6. "With any luck... CCP will ban isboxer altogether"

    And somehow, from that you conclude we think isboxer is "ok". Wow. Good job anon.

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    1. agree with it enough to be ok with a agent to useing it

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  7. my fav parts this week: binary is the Terminator, and michis = a salvo of bullets in your brain.
    every time i think about it i laugh more!

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