Kirche Todes, who filed a petition because he thinks shooting a Retriever in highsec constitutes bannable harassment, is typical. Kirche is dead wrong, but he's not alone. I've personally spoken to hundreds of miners who feel the same way. My Agents report similar experiences.
I try to reason with the carebears whenever I can, or feel like it. I followed up with Felicity Myrom, who cried that she wouldn't cry about losing (another) Mackinaw.
Everyone wants to be a winner, but there are a lot of different ways to win. One of the things I'm most proud of is the fact that New Order Agents always play fair. Victory after playing a good, clean game is incredibly satisfying. To that end, whenever a carebear dies, I inform them why they died and how they can avoid dying in the future. In this way I leave the carebears better than I found 'em. To expedite the process, I use a form EVEmail like this:
Greetings!Long? Sure, but first impressions are important. When a carebear is killed, they're often upset and confused. They're eager to learn more about EVE. That's where the New Order and its form EVEmails come in. Knowledge is power. No one in highsec has more power than the New Order, so we're not afraid to spread our knowledge far and wide.
According to the CODE. alliance killboard, your ship(s) and/or pod(s) were recently destroyed by our gankers. You may take comfort in the fact that you were not the target of a random act of violence. In fact, you were carefully selected for destruction because you were caught "botting", engaging in automated play such as AFK mining or autopiloting, or some other act of bot-aspirancy.
Please be aware that your actions or inactions were a violation of the New Halaima Code of Conduct, the set of rules by which the New Order governs highsec. Everyone in highsec must obey or risk destruction of their ships and pods.
You may download your very own copy of the Code at the New Order's official website:
In order to ensure that we do not continually gank you, obey the Code and purchase a 365-day New Order permit by sending this character 10 million isk. This is not extortion or a scam of any kind; it's a user fee for the services that we provide to you and the rest of the highsec community. Put "permit purchase" in the reason slot when you transfer your isk. Also, to ensure that other Agents know that you have purchased a permit, it's advisable to put a pledge of loyalty to me in your bio, such as:
"I pledge my loyalty to James 315 and the New Order of Highsec at www.MinerBumping.com, and I wholeheartedly support the Code."
I look forward to receiving your 10 million isk payment and welcoming you into the New Order family. Have an incredible day!
Father of the New Order
Saviour of Highsec
...But the carebears still petition us for doing things like "having a -10 security pilot who pods people". And "having an alt who moves supplies". More work for the GMs.
Then there are those who say ominous things like "your day of reckoning looms". You know, that would be a lot more intimidating if it didn't come from someone named "Kelly Builderson".
These days, it's becoming increasingly popular for miners to use the "I wasn't AFK, I was just..." square of the Miner Bingo board. I was just checking the market for drones, says Kiostus Nintai. But we know we can't trust Kiostus, because he's one of those "I was going to do _________, but now I won't" people. Kiostus, when the Code was published for all the world to read on MinerBumping.com, that's when you were asked to buy a permit.
"I wasn't AFK, I was just engaged in battle on my other account." Yes, and when a New Order Agent started shooting your mining ship, you became engaged in battle on this account, too.
"I wasn't AFK, I was just getting up to get a cup of coffee." ...At the Starbucks three blocks away, no doubt.
"I wasn't AFK, I was just programming in the other window." I can guess what he was programming, too.
"I wasn't AFK, I was just looking for my sister 19 jumps away." Join the New Order family and you won't need to travel so far to find a brother or a sister.
And then, at long last, I found him. An honest carebear:
TheNight PT, a highsec miner from Portugal, put aside all of the typical carebear excuses and simply told the truth. That's good. The New Order is in favor of truth. However, it's also our job to change the truth. Admitting you are a bot-aspirant is the second step in the long road toward recovery. (The first step is encountering an Agent of the New Order.) I believe bot-aspirants like TheNight PT can be redeemed by learning and following the Code. And then, when next they tell the truth about themselves, they'll finally have something good to say.