Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Ravages of Bot-Aspirancy

Sometimes carebears have names that don't quite fit, such as "ShadowStrike" the highsec miner.

On other occasions, their names are spot-on.

Slain committed a serious violation of the Code by autopiloting through my territory in an untanked vessel. Not satisfied with an EVEmail, he convo'ed me to get answers. He came to the right place. Giving people the answers they seek is, like, 95% of what I do.

Slain had never heard of me or the New Order before. He was your classic newbie, the kind the New Order is always picking on. Carebear apologists would be horrified to hear of such an incident. The fellow probably has barely more than 100 million skillpoints.

* James 315 acted as proxy for the entire highsec community and cast all votes in said election. This was the only practical means of installing a democracy in highsec.

Hopefully Slain reads this post. Otherwise he doesn't have much chance of viewing the footnote to my comment.

Remember how in the latest CSM minutes a lot of EVE players never heard of the "sandbox"? Well, now one more player knew about the sandbox.

I don't know what kind of childhood all these carebears had, but apparently a lot of them encountered bullies while playing in the sandbox. Probably because an authority wasn't there to keep order.

In his ten and a half years playing EVE, Slain had grown bitter and cynical. He couldn't imagine the utopian future we plan for highsec. But for me, it's as real as anything else in EVE.

Slain grew paranoid. He saw enemies everywhere--even the people who ganked him were suspect.

Pop quiz, hotshot: How old does Slain think I am? Anyone?


Admittedly, I got greedy and tried to fish for another Miner Bingo quote. Slain denied being a miner. True, he wasn't mining at the time I killed him. But trust me, if kill enough highsec miners, you can smell it on 'em.

Some might say that I was unfair to Slain. He'd been playing EVE since 2003. I only encountered him when he was autopiloting a shuttle. How could I know for sure he was a bot-aspirant? Instinct. That isn't good enough for some people, so I looked him up on to find out if he'd lost any other ships recently. It turns out that he'd lost a Thrasher in lowsec the day before I popped his shuttle. Perhaps I erred by judging a book by its cover?

Think again. Slain had been making use of his 100+ million skillpoints by flying one of the worst fits I've ever seen.

Behold the fit of your nightmares. Yes, that is a mining laser you see on there. That's what a decade of bot-aspirancy will do to a guy.

Support your local New Order Agent. You could save a life.


  1. Wow, Slain has been in an NPC corp for almost 10 years. He really needs to get out more. Perhaps a dear reader could help him learn more about what Eve has to offer.

  2. "geeks with no life trying to bully imaginary ppl to make themselves look cool"

    Wait, now the carebears are accusing us of bulling imaginary people too?

    What is an imaginary person, like a fictional character? Has a New Order agent bullied Gandalf or Mickey Mouse? This must be looked into!

    Perhaps he's been alone in this game so long he developed an imaginary friend.

  3. I've only done barge ganking with Cats, but was thinking of trying this gate ganking of pods and shuttles like D400 and James. How do you get your Thrashers to the gate fast enough to gank these auto-piloters? Are you just bouncing between gates and hitting targets of opportunity? Does your Thrasher fit have enough DPS and tank to gank anti-tanked T1 haulers before gate guns get you?

    1. Dear Anon, as regards the Thrasher fits used by James 315 and D400, I asked the same question myself during a comment to a previous Blog.

      A different Anon was kind enough to remind me that this information is easily available from Killboards. I used zKillboard.

      Our ganks are suicide ganks. We lose our ship, Thrasher or whatever. That means a Loss record is created. Just look down the list of Losses for James 315 or D400. You'll see the ships they lost in the suicide gank, and the fits.

      As to the piloting skills required, thanks for asking; let's both await a response!

      Hail James 315, Supreme Protector of Halaima and the 0.5-1.0 Systems, Hail James 315, Saviour of Highsec!

  4. Election, star.


  5. Wow, Slain's fit is all over the place, I mean, that's breaking the rules of EVE common sense (as I've been told and read); you don't fit both close-range and long-range versions of weapons on the same ship as that splits your damage too far between ranges, and plus he has no tank on what is a combat ship.

    Now, I am of the opinion that a varied skillset is a good skillset, but you don't need to show that off at the expense that Slain has, his Thrasher. And rather poorly at that.


    First: Get rid of the miner.

    Second: Exchange all of the autocannons for artillery or the artillery for autocannons

    Third: If the Thrasher has more than one missile hardpoint (I haven't been in EVE for a while so I am unfamiliar with up-to-date ship stats), take advantage of that and fit as many launchers as wanted. And fill the slot previously occupied by the removed miner.

    Third-A: Or switch the launcher hardpoint for another artillery/autocannon, whichever strikes your fancy.

    Fourth: If you want the Thrasher to fit a tackle, fit a warp scrambler with that web.

    Fifth: Actually put some tank on it, a passive tank will have modules that increase shield regeneration, active tank will actually replenish the shields. Take out the cargo expander when doing this.

    Sixth: Probably Reniforced Bulkheads or other modules to increase whatever stats you want in the Lows. And Rigs, I don't particularly care.

    Anyway, that is my take on how to fix that fit. Based on my admittedly possibly out-of-date and uninformed knowledge.

  6. * I love discussing the proxy vote with an enraged local.

  7. that poor thrasher
    you can practically hear it begging for death, for mercy, from its misfit existence

    i'd provide fitting suggestions but I have no idea wtf he was trying to do

  8. The guy is obsessed with putting a mining laser on unconventional ships and heading to lowsec in them. I think he must have played Eve back when there were no barges at all and has since taken a very long break. Clearly being in the NPC corp is doing him no good.

  9. Hopefully Slain reads this post. Otherwise he doesn't have much chance of viewing the footnote to my comment.

    This made me laugh. :)

    James 315, best 315!

  10. Awesome article, very funny, I still can't believe this guy, has he interacted with no one, in a multiplayer game for 10 years?

  11. 0.5 -1.0 ...... spells like pussy never dipping into the low and null secs.

    1. Settle down video game tough guy, it's time for your juice and nap.

    2. I know its hard "anonymous guy" but your assessment of the situation is as bad as your ability to insult the New Order.
      Holding sway over the entirety of highsec has nothing to do with whether or not someone spends time in low or null.
      If you did your research we regularly travel into lowsec, null and wormhole space to bring The Code to specific individuals who need light in the dark corner of the universe that they have fled to.
      It smells like anonymous never dips into reality.

      p.s. did anyone else find it funny as hell that he misspelled the word smells, as the word spells?

  12. i visited again a System called Kino.

    Iam NOT a miner but iam always reading your Blog.

    Please let me show you what ive seen:

    (i did 2 Screenshots)
    [the first ice belt]

    [the second ice belt]

    please excuse the white boxes, but i wont share my chat partners.

    Thanks in advance for your help to bring control back to Kino

    1. interesting, thanks those said miners can be hunted down and killed out of game including your self for supporting code.

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