Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Baddest Carebears on the Block, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agents of the New Order destroyed a Noctis owned by carebear Jovian Marauder. Though a carebear, Jovian's name and bio suggested he was a highsec tough guy. He questioned the New Order's PvP abilities.
Braegnok > Code always wins
Jovian Marauder > lmao
Jovian Marauder > cuz yall dont fight anyone but afkers....
Jovian Marauder > hows that win
Jovian Marauder > a real war would be terrible for you gys
Jovian Marauder > guys*
Jovian's dismissive attitude got him in hot water. The alt of one of the gankers was Mogdud Saturos of Vulgar Displays of Power. A wardec was immediately issued against Jovian's corp.


Jovian's corp was called Interstellar Services Syndicate. It would be hard to find a more bland, generic, vanilla corp name. The corp description was just like thousands of others in highsec: The carebears claimed to do pretty much everything, and they were recruiting. Obviously, this corp needed a good wardec to straighten things out. However, ISS was a member of an alliance. Since allied corps can only be wardecced at the alliance level, Jovian Marauder had gotten the entire alliance in trouble with the New Order.


Apparently it wasn't that hard to find a blander name than "Interstellar Services Syndicate", for the alliance was called United Forces Coalition. It, too, claimed to do everything--though somehow I get the feeling "everything" mostly consisted of highsec mining. Perhaps Jovian got mouthy because he was sheltered within a 70-member alliance. The alliance leader was named Death Killer21. Surely he was a warrior who would show the New Order what real PvP is all about.
Death Killer21 > o/
Death Killer21 > whats war about?
Mogdud Saturos > Interstellar Services Syndicate made it happen
Death Killer21 > what have they done
Mogdud Saturos > thats what Mad Fatchick Killer is here for, tell him
Mad Fatchick Killer > One of their members got smug with me
Death Killer21 > ok
Within minutes of being notified of the wardec, Death Killer21 contacted Mogdud. Our heroes made no secret of the reason behind the wardec. Now that everyone was on the same page, surely Death Killer21 would prepare his troops for war.
Mad Fatchick Killer > CODE does not approve of disrespect to agents
Mad Fatchick Killer > They even asked for it
Death Killer21 > ok
Death Killer21 > name of the member?
Mad Fatchick Killer > Jovian Marauder
Death Killer21 > ok
Death Killer21 > in that case, i will deal with hi, i apolagise for the disrespect
For a guy named "Death Killer21", the alliance leader was surprisingly polite. But although he didn't condone trash-talk from his members, surely he would now rally his alliance for some good fights.
Death Killer21 > now is their any way diplomatically we can get this war removed, we cant afford another
Mad Fatchick Killer > That will be between you and Mogdud
Mad Fatchick Killer > I have already paid for this war
Death Killer21 > ok, mog
Mad Fatchick Killer > thank you for your appology
Death Killer21 > no problem
Death Killer21 > so mogdud
In fact, Death Killer21 wasn't interested in death or killing. He wanted peace, because his alliance wasn't suited for war.
Mogdud Saturos > well, remove them from the alliance so they remain dec'd, and I will let the rest of your alliance out for a surrender with a donation of 200mil to my corp
Mogdud Saturos > that sound fair?
Death Killer21 > no, because they are a part of my alliance however
Death Killer21 > i am happy to pay 150 mill for you to drop war
Mogdud Saturos > if you remove them from the alliance the dec will split. Then you can surrender and they will remain at war
Death Killer21 > im sorry but im not willing to loose members
Death Killer21 was willing to surrender before the first shot was fired, and to pay 150 million isk for peace. Even though Jovian Marauder's corp was useless, the alliance couldn't part with them. Death Killer21 only wanted to have as many members in his alliance was possible, regardless of what those members actually did. I suspect he's not the only highsec alliance leader who feels that way.
Death Killer21 > i have said i will deal with them
Death Killer21 > and sort out the issue
Death Killer21 > but removing them is unfair
Mogdud Saturos > ok, Then we go to the standard ransom amount which is set by my corp. Staring rate is 500mil surrender offer.
Death Killer21 > 500
Mogdud Saturos > Refusal of the offer, or attacking any of my people after a deal is struck ( during the 24 hour period) will result in an extention of the war and an increase in the price.
Death Killer21 > hmm
Agent Mogdud made another proposal. He was willing to accept Death Killer21's surrender if they paid half a billion isk. Not a bad payday for a wardec that hadn't gone active yet.
Death Killer21 > and i have your wor during that 24 hour period that no fightng will occur, from your side aswell
Mogdud Saturos > yes
Death Killer21 > ok, on one promise
Death Killer21 > you dont tell anyone that i paid u lol
Death Killer21 agreed, as long as Mogdud didn't tell anyone. He needed to keep his fearsome reputation intact.
Mogdud Saturos > I have no reason to tell anyone
Death Killer21 > ok, can i surrender now then if i send it?
Mogdud Saturos > yes, make sure to attach the isk in the surrender offer
Death Killer21 > no, i will pay you the isk in transefer
Death Killer21 > dont want ally members knowing i have money to pay for you to drop war
Death Killer21 > that ok with you
Death Killer21 > dont fancy ally members knowing i paid to drop war because i cba with shit tbh
Mogdud wasn't willing to explicitly agree not to tell anyone about it. The New Order is known for its transparency, after all. Death Killer21 then devised a way to launder the 500 million isk payment. He wanted the deal to be under the table, so even his own alliance members wouldn't know about it. Once again, MinerBumping brings you, the EVE public, the truth about what really goes on in highsec!
Mogdud Saturos > ok
Death Killer21 > kk logging alt in
Death Killer21 > who wants the isk
Mogdud Saturos > send it to the corp
Ryan Raholan > sent
Mogdud Saturos > done
Death Killer21 > thank you very much
Mogdud Saturos > yep, I accepted the surrender
Ryan Raholan > yeh
Ryan Raholan > thank you
The 500 million isk was transferred, and the New Order won yet another extraordinary victory, all without firing a shot. In the wake of this debacle, Interstellar Services Syndicate collapsed, and Jovian Marauder sought employment elsewhere. The alliance, United Forces Coalition, also collapsed, losing 90% of its members. Death Killer21 abandoned his dreams of leading a highsec alliance and went elsewhere. The downfall occurred so suddenly that Jovian still has a link to ISS in his bio, and the UFC description still lists Death Killer21 as its main contact. When justice is done, sometimes it happens swiftly, as in this case. The stars in highsec shine a little brighter today.

26 comments:

  1. Well done agent Mogdud Saturos. \o/

    Love to know the story behind the internal collapse of the alliance.

    - Guybertini

    ReplyDelete
  2. How many new players did UFC convince to leave the game because of their weak convictions and boring gameplay?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fuck you guys.

    Fucking bullies. Ooooh, "respecting" a fucking agent in a cult in a fucking video game.

    Get real.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pray elaborate on how one would "get real" in "a fucking video game"? It's already make-believe by nature.

      Delete
    2. There are really only two rules in EVE.

      1. Do NOT disrespect The Code, James 315, or a Knight of The New Order

      2. Do not piss off themittani

      - handypantz

      Delete
    3. Bot aspirant corp taken down, and such sweet lacrimation for desert.

      Please, don't keep your angst to yourself "marauder". Spill it out, you're among friends.

      Delete
    4. Ill piss on james everyday :)

      I play eve for little over a year now ... who da fuck is the mittanni ?

      Accepting the under the table bride is weak from code, i though they were about honor and stuff. now they look weak. Show some balls and dec them again for paying under the table

      Delete
    5. I lold at this comment - Anonymous 9:07pm

      a big man who needs to post anonymously.

      Delete
    6. You ask for a straight up fight and they pay the ISK for you to get what you want. Now they are "bullies" in a video game about spaceships blowing up. Those who have been the victim of actual real life bullies would like to have a brief word with you. Stop being a pussy in a video game.

      Delete
    7. That is an interesting comment, I thought you agents of the new order were supposed to be civil and not talk like that...What happened to keeping it clean?

      Delete
    8. Anonymous 10:43 PM,

      Code quote, "Keep *local* clean." (Emphasis added.)

      Stop being a pussy in a video game, and stop being a pussy on an internet forum. And read the Code.

      Delete
    9. Nice example from another agent of the code...you monkeys really need to go back to the zoo....

      Delete
    10. ^You really need to do more research AG.

      "Miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity."

      This does not apply to Agents, just carebears.

      Delete
    11. That is why code deserves no respect, it is do as we say regardless of what we do...the circus is calling, why don't you clowns heed the call and rerun to the circus...HighSec really would be better off...

      Delete
    12. Highsec needs the New Order to help protect it from itself.

      Delete
    13. The only thing wrong with HighSec is it has too many code monkeys, and the bufoon of HighSec...

      Delete
  4. Death Killer21 is the same guy that got his corp "Christ's Little Angels" AWOXed by some dude named "Totally not Judas", so you know his alliance isn't exactly a well oiled machine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooooo. That didn't happen. That *can't* have happened! Oh man, you had better provide a link to a killmail or something.

      Delete
    2. http://www.pcgamesn.com/eve/eve-online-player-named-totally-not-judas-infiltrates-christ-s-little-angels-corp-and-kills-ceo

      Some deets even.

      Delete
  5. Now I don't agree with the tactics New Order Agents use to force people to buy permits...

    But after reading about these HighSec Corps and Alliance Leaders giving up so quickly and not fighting I say BURN THEM ALL TO THE GROUND!!

    What is wrong with these people? Sure you want to mine go right ahead but get WarDec'd and for Fuck's Sake fight these guys...

    On a side note...Did someone really mention James315 and Mittens in the same post...Hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear if you say "james 315" 4 times into a mirror, the ghost of Biggie Smalls shows up and raps for you

      Delete
  6. As much as your ganking annoys me (despite never being personally affected), I have to side with you with based on grammar and syntax alone. Why can the New Order folks always seem to write above a 6th grade level and my fellow carebears cannot? There's only one "O" in "lose" guys, come on.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad to see that the good guys have won yet again a glorious victory! The only way this story could have been better is if New Order spais engineered the collapse from the inside. Or did we? hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were banned from the game for good reason. Too bad you weren't banned from the community as well.

      Delete

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