Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Baddest Carebears on the Block, Part 1

The New Order is a civilizing force in highsec. Its Agents are known for being the most sophisticated, diplomatic individuals in EVE. The carebears, on the other hand, can be a bit rough around the edges. They sometimes mistake our courtesy for weakness.

Agents Mad Fatchick Killer and Braegnok were patrolling the Uminas system when they located a suspected bot-aspirant in a Noctis. After a careful investigation, they concluded the Noctis pilot did not have a permit, and that a gank was warranted.

Our Agents carried out the death sentence with a pair of Catalysts. After reviewing the killmail, they saw that the Noctis, indeed, was not fit for highsec. It was completely untanked. The pilot, Jovian Marauder, joined a convo with Agent Braegnok and demanded an explanation.
Braegnok > afk anything
Jovian Marauder > so how was killing my noctis afk anythin g?
Jovian Marauder > lol i thought so....CODE is a bunch of jokes lmao yall are just ordinary pirates nothing more
Braegnok > its no different than when we hit orcas or freighters. Autopiloting, afking, all gankable things
Jovian Marauder > ordinary pirates basically
Jovian Marauder > the whole hi sec thing is a git up
With hardly any prompting, Jovian confessed that he'd harbored doubts about the New Order all along. No wonder he didn't own a permit.
Braegnok > get a permit and you wont have to worry
Jovian Marauder > lol thats a scam
Jovian Marauder > i pay for eve ill be damned if i pay you fucks lmao
Jovian Marauder > besides its a lost cause overall
Braegnok > why is that?
Jovian Marauder > how isnt in?
Jovian Marauder > it*
Braegnok > Code always wins
Jovian didn't believe in mining permits. Whatever the New Order was really about, he doubted it would succeed.
Mad Fatchick Killer > ahoy hoy
Mad Fatchick Killer > Permit ?
Mad Fatchick Killer > 10 mil
Mad Fatchick Killer > You do realize the only good tank is a permit tank
Jovian Marauder > possibly but question is, is it worth it?
Mad Fatchick Killer > You will be safe from all CODE gankers
Braegnok > for a year
Jovian Marauder > not worried bout CODE lol
Though Jovian had just lost his ship and admitted it might be futile to try tanking CODE gankers, he claimed not to be worried. He was a hardcore carebear, afraid of no one and nothing.
Jovian Marauder > you guys caught a noctis with nothing in it..
Braegnok > doesnt matter if anything is in it
Mad Fatchick Killer > Kill: Zhar Ptitsa (Obelisk)
Braegnok > we will gank a freighter thats empty
Jovian Marauder > just dont see how worth losing your ships
Mad Fatchick Killer > It is worth inforcing the CODE so that people are safe to mine and salvage
Mad Fatchick Killer > We protect the EVE community from bots and AFKrs
Braegnok > to save everyone from bots
In recent days, the New Order has been the subject of even more conversation than usual in carebear circles. In particular, there's widespread bafflement about the New Order's practice of destroying even empty freighters. Such ganks can't be understood--apart from the Code.
Jovian Marauder > afkers tho i thought as that is what i have known CODe for
Jovian Marauder > but apparently its upgraded to everyone now
Braegnok > we do what we must
Jovian Marauder > i noticed lol
Jovian Marauder > you go after afkers and everyone basically
Jovian Marauder > even if they arnt afk
Braegnok > autopiloting and afking is considered bot aspirancy
Jovian Marauder > not really
Jovian Marauder > considering its a mechanic in the game
Jovian made the mistake of arguing about the terms of the Code and the meaning of "bot-aspirancy" with a pair of highly-trained Agents. Carebears, don't do this. You'll come across as an amateur.
Jovian Marauder > i support you guys 100% lol just was wonderin
Jovian Marauder > why yall ganked a player that wasnt afk
Braegnok > buy a permit and you wont have to worry about it
Mad Fatchick Killer > Permit holders are compliant
Mad Fatchick Killer > non holders are suspect bots
Braegnok > comply or die
Jovian Marauder > i see
Now the gank recipient was blowing hot and cold. By turns he insulted our heroes and claimed to support them.
Braegnok > Code always wins
Jovian Marauder > lmao
Jovian Marauder > cuz yall dont fight anyone but afkers....
Jovian Marauder > hows that win
Jovian Marauder > a real war would be terrible for you gys
Jovian Marauder > guys*
Then the gauntlet was thrown down. Jovian considered himself one bad carebear. He had no respect whatsoever for our Agents' PvP abilities.

His bio was full of bluff and bluster. Thus far, Jovian had done nothing in his EVE career to justify such boldness. He was a Noctis pilot, a carebear, and a gank victim. But he'd swallowed the anti-Order propaganda about our Agents not being able to fight anything that can shoot back.
Braegnok > enjoy
Mad Fatchick Killer > Enjoy the war
Jovian Marauder > lol we are
As I've said before, the New Order never backs down from a challenge. War was declared on the spot. Would Jovian learn his lesson, or would he prove himself the baddest carebear in highsec?

To be continued...


  1. Mad Fatchick Killer is a great name, Mallrats is a really under rated movie.

  2. Just once I'd love to see a carebear utilize the same tatics as James does.

    Station tanking and immediately reform a corps upon wardec.

    1. I bet it has happened. But as this is the New Orders blog, I don't think they would openly admit such a thing.

    2. Carebears do that lilterally every day. The story just isn't entertaining.

    3. Please please petition CCP to make doing that an exploit. NO would love it.

    4. We have been war decced a few times in code, we still gank freighters etc it doesn't stop us. We are kamikazee

      Carebears need to stop reading this blog if its going to upset them so badly.

    5. Actually, the New Order has done it. I happen to know that CODE. uses a POS which is owned by a corporation that is not affiliated with the CODE. alliance. Someone I know has a merc corp wardec that corp to bash the POS. They pulled the shields down and pushed the POS into reinforced mode pretty quickly. When they went back to finish the job, the POS was back up under a new corp. So yeah, they won't admit it, but they do it.

    6. And if you are wondering where their POS is, It's at the following location: Balle 8 moon 3.

      Happy camping.

    7. The New Order is all about using carebear techniques against them, this isn't new. James has literally talked about this in previous posts because of how hilarious it is when you have carebears whining for CCP to do something they whined at CCP to introduce to the game to begin with.

    8. We use this strategy all the time! Read the blog!

  3. Anonymous 623 hasn't read this blog very carefully.

    We already know how this story ends.

    The Code Always wins!!

    1. Yes you set the standard for what constitutes a win so low that you cannot possibly guys really need to go back to the Circus, it is desperately missing its clowns...

    2. so upset lol!

    3. Anon 9:24 is correct. The bar for us winning is low. If you engage us, we win. Since what you wanted to do was AFK Eve while playing Battlefield 4, we win when you actually play Eve. We love Eve. We want people to actually play it with us.

    4. Your arrogance is are making an inaccurate assumption the I wanted to play Eve AFK...and I do not have to play it with you to play Eve...

  4. Take a look at this:

    We will tell every one that is interesting in easy kills to seek for NEW ORDER freighter ganking places.

    50-80 Agents shoot in 2 days.


    Do you really think youre experienced in PvP with 0 kills on your side??????

    Thanks to FA for their service vs. New Order!!

    Tip: if you shoot the yellow fleshing haulers of New Order after their gank you own the loot without danger

    Have fun to shoot New Order haulers .......

    To be continued...

    P.S. we will tell that fact to every merc corp as well as any other interesting in easy kill vs. "glorious "or so weak New Oder Agents that they did get NOT 1 that the NEW Order PvP experience, if yes you should bio mass yourself

    1. LOL whoring in on CONCORD killmails and failing to stop any ganks.

    2. LOL whoring in loosing suspect NEW ORDER haulers, the mercs will learn fast!!

    3. this time maybe just wanted toget easy km but next time they will have been understanding that the real isk can be made shooting suspect new Order haulers trying to grab the loot from freighter wreck.

      Many other will do it to


    4. definitely going to put a stop to the code doing that lol!

    5. Um anon 9:41...

      Most ganks dont happen because of loot...and freighter gankers know that using a noobship alt ton transfer items from a wreck into an orca/dsts fleet hangar doesnt make the hauler suspect.

    6. ^That.

      If it ever came down to the need to use a hauler, which wouldn't be often with the use of ibis alts and an Orca, the DST would be second choice. Have fun with that failknights.

      Man, using your own ships against you, must be nerve-racking.

  5. You know, I've sat AFK at a planet in the following systems. Gamis, Gelhan, Uedama, Afuay, Balle, and others. Nobody ever tried to gank me.

    1. Well if you have the bravery to not just brag about it but also tell us your name we will be more than happy to contact you in game to arrange a play date with some cats

  6. So the code ganks another innocent AFKer.

    Oh boy James, just how many corpses do you have? You do know that eating another person is cannibalism and is considered a sin, right? But then again, I think you need your protein. It takes alot of muscle and energy to keep your nose up that high in the air.

    Hmm... Perhaps I should send you a picture of my naked ass, complete with hair glued on it. So when I tell you to kiss my hairy ass, you have it right there. I don't know how good your depth preception is though, and there's no way for me to tell since I'm not there in person, since it is the difference between ass kissing and brown nosing.

    1. ok this one is pretty great, more like this please

    2. this has been another trollilific post by butthurt miner just in case anyone didn't realise it was a troll.

    3. better than his normal ones!

    4. Dear Butthurt,

      Shhot me down in flames if I'm off base here.

      But from the general tone of your many posts here I'm sensing that the activities of the New Order REALLY gets under your skin. Amirite?

      - Guybertini

  7. strange that as i watched them, they ALWAYS turned suspect?!

    Sometimes i saw Prowlers ...[gives nice killmails for mercs]

    Sometimes i saw no one looting the wreck cause i was nearby so i was taken the loot for my own, FREEEEE LOOOT worth a bill isk

    And i had nothing else to do than to wait until the next gank happened....

    Strange that at (nearly ) every gank (it doesnt matter if barge / freighter or any other vessel) one turned suspect 99% he/she was part of New Order?

    What is easier to shoot the suspect after the gank?

    Gives extra nice killmail + the loot that was inside the vessel that was ganked


    Mobile tractor units will grab the ganker ship loot (so free t2 equipment for catalysts, brutix, thrasher, moa and so on)

    Strange that if the New Order is not ganking "for loot", why does 1 of them is turning suspect?

    1. You're desperate. I know you're desperate because I know you didn't get 1b/isk from a wreck. You think an MTU is going to matter? We have a logistical backbone after-all. Also, Deep Space Transport. Next?

  8. Be the TOP of FOOD CHAIN

    The New Order is on very very very low level ; at moment just 1 step above noobs, miners, mission runners and so on

    Example :

    The New Order is ganking a faction ship with faction loot.

    Just wait until 1 of them wants grab the loot and will turn suspect that is


    -you will get a nice killmail
    -you will get the bounty (1/3 of ship worth)
    -you will get the funt o shoot a suspect one
    -you will get the loot (whatever it is)


    (suspects can be attacked without penalties except they may shoot bk; perfect for small gang op in high)

    1. Anonymous 12.30am : needs to learn game mechanics lol,

      now point on the doll where the catalyst dolls touched you


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