Thursday, March 2, 2017

Fraud in the Reimbursement, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... BARANDYWINE SHAWN-NEE lost her Mackinaw to Agent Kalorned. Five years ago, she lost a Retriever to NPCs. When she contacted Reimbursement Officer Svara Eir, for some reason she demanded to be compensated for the loss of her Retriever. When Svara refused, things got heated.

BARANDYWINE was the kind of miner who could look right at a killmail and deny what she was seeing. By contrast, Svara was an Agent of the New Order. We value truth, not delusions.

The miner continued to rage. Her anger was fueled in part by the dawning realization that she wouldn't be reimbursed for a ship "ganked" by NPCs.

It seemed as though BARANDYWINE was prepared to continue the stalemate indefinitely. Svara didn't plan to indulge her. This matter would be resolved within the next few minutes.

At long last, BARANDYWINE conceded that the killmail didn't show what she thought it should. But she could offer no reasonable explanation for the discrepancy.

Svara had no choice but to deny BARANDYWINE's reimbursement request and close the petition. Our Agents don't do so lightly. The miner had gotten a full, fair hearing.

Suddenly, out of the blue, BARANDYWINE made a discovery: She'd lost a Mackinaw to Agent Kalorned, not a Retriever! And she had the killmail to prove it.

At the very moment of her deepest despair, BARANDYWINE had new hope of getting some isk.

Now the miner regained her confidence. There was no denying the Mackinaw killmail. It was quite clearly destroyed by Agents of the New Order. How could Svara deny the reimbursement request?

New Order bureaucracy is known for its incredible efficiency and efficacy. Of course, even our Agents don't have infinite resources--only infinite courage, integrity, etc.

More good news: BARANDYWINE could get her Mackinaw reimbursement request processed that very day, in exchange for a mere 10 million isk. This was a great offer. What miner would have a problem with handing over 10 million isk?

Alas, when faced with the prospect of paying 10 million isk, BARANDYWINE went into a rage and terminated the convo. She never spoke to our Agents again.

...At least, not for a while. Some days later, BARANDYWINE invited Kalorned to a convo, demanding a status update on her Mackinaw reimbursement request. Things got rolling again, especially after BARANDYWINE was granted priority treatment--in exchange for a full API.

As part of the investigation of her file, BARANDYWINE's API was put to work. Her old EVEmails were reviewed. Our Agents discovered that BARANDYWINE had a history of picking fights with her fellow miners.

Over time, BARANDYWINE paid 1.1 billion isk in various service fees. The status of her Mackinaw reimbursement request is inconclusive at this time. Nevertheless, our Agents are working night and day to ensure justice is done.


  1. That type of player does not deserve to play EvE.

  2. It's finally over. I feel like I've been yelled at for the past four days.

    "... if allowing the miner to vent his profanities toward me... saves his wife or children one extra beating, that's something I'll gladly take."

    Great job Svara Eir!

  3. Oh this is precious. Totally roll on floor laugh material.

    Well done.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    Let me write you 3,000 words about how I'm absolutely NOT CRYING!

  6. "I'm not crying, LOL!"
    The glow of his monitor
    Can't hide his damp cheeks

  7. Looks like I deleted my earlier comment. Whoever wrote this wall of nonsense above is using rather crude reverse psychology. Clearly he is in need of a mining permit in his bio.

  8. "rush processing fee of 10 million ISK"

    Brilliant :)


  10. Where else can you get such high-quality content for so little isk? Thank James for the New Order!


  11. When will antiganking release their donators list?

    1. I don't think they can count tears as donations.

  12. But where oh where is Ming?

  13. Another miner another childish rant, internet tough-guy drivel, and desperation to be something other than sheep for the culling.
    You are nothing. Literally exist to provide mild entertainment for the people that actually do matter in Eve. I've let my kid pick out the miner I am about to blow up based on nothing more than which one she thinks will squeal the loudest when stepped on.
    Maybe that is you. Maybe your precious mining barge was vaporized and you left to wake up in a station clone vat-- because my kid pointed at the screen in your direction.
    THAT is how important you are. THAT is the contribution to New Eden you bring. So much ego, so many tears...all that rage and indignation- all for my kid to stop by on her way to the fridge and pick out which worthless miner dies next.
    I have more respect for actual livestock as they serve an actual purpose. CCP could just seed minerals in markets like they do skill books and it wouldn't impact the game at all except for the weak, worthless, and clearly out of their league at competitive gameplay would have to find some other game to pollute.

  14. The return of SollyLama! (Or did you never retreat?) Either way, good to see you back here in the comments; we've had some rough'uns here I can tell ya..

  15. Out of all the caps lock English is obviously not my first language screaming this rockhead miner did, the line I laughed at the most was "WHY R U MAKEING UP AL THIS BULL SHIRT"
    like, who is Al? does he have a shirt with a bull on it, or did he take a shirt from a bull?
    so many unanswered questions.

  16. I laughed my ass off at the "understaffed" part. Pure gold!

  17. So funny. I know a guy online who really does beat his kids every time CODE ganks him. Got to hear it live on TS3 one time a few months ago. You should have heard them cry. 1 buy, 1 girl if it matters. I banned him from TS3 after that, but I'll bet he still does it. I never did learn his screen name. Wanted nothing to do with his temper.


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