Thursday, March 30, 2017
You Don't Know James, Part 1
Another day in the new highsec. Miner EDISON ENGLISH was attempting to gather ice when he found himself repeatedly bumped by our Agents. It took him several minutes to return to his keyboard, but when he did, he made a startling announcement.
EDISON purchased a mining permit a month earlier when Agent Kalorned showed him the error of his ways by killing his Covetor. Was EDISON truly reformed, or only faking?
Our Agents are excellent detectives, but the cases usually aren't that hard to crack.
EDISON warned the Agents that the judgment of James 315 was inescapable. True enough, but why wasn't EDISON himself worried about said judgment?
Unexpectedly, EDISON dropped a bombshell: He was in direct contact with the Saviour of Highsec on Facebook!
The vulgar miner was greatly distressed by the bumps, but nevertheless confident that he'd ultimately prevail. Could he really have an "in" with highsec's Supreme Protector?
We've often seen miners threaten to petition CCP or contact their powerful friends in nullsec. The next, logical step in the evolution of this tactic is to claim to know an even greater power in EVE.
EDISON's provocative statements drew the attention of additional Agents. His case was becoming a high priority.
EDISON didn't want any confusion, so he made things crystal clear: James 315 was a friend of his, and he was sick of people bumping miners in his name.
...So maybe it wasn't a close friendship, but EDISON could still say with authority that the Saviour wanted his mining ship to be left alone.
Agent Lillie Naari was skeptical. For some reason, it just didn't have the ring of truth. EDISON assured our Agent that once his Facebook account was fully booted, he'd have all the evidence he needed to prove his claim.
EDISON's efforts quickly hit a snag: His Facebook contact was offline, and screenshots could not be posted without clearing a few additional hurdles.
Lillie questioned the miner further. EDISON grew indignant. Why couldn't these Agents see that he had friends in high places?
Then EDISON dropped another bombshell: The Saviour of Highsec had gotten fed up with all this "Code" business, and the mighty CODE. alliance was dead.
To be continued...