Thursday, March 30, 2017

You Don't Know James, Part 1


Another day in the new highsec. Miner EDISON ENGLISH was attempting to gather ice when he found himself repeatedly bumped by our Agents. It took him several minutes to return to his keyboard, but when he did, he made a startling announcement.


EDISON purchased a mining permit a month earlier when Agent Kalorned showed him the error of his ways by killing his Covetor. Was EDISON truly reformed, or only faking?


Our Agents are excellent detectives, but the cases usually aren't that hard to crack.


EDISON warned the Agents that the judgment of James 315 was inescapable. True enough, but why wasn't EDISON himself worried about said judgment?


Unexpectedly, EDISON dropped a bombshell: He was in direct contact with the Saviour of Highsec on Facebook!


The vulgar miner was greatly distressed by the bumps, but nevertheless confident that he'd ultimately prevail. Could he really have an "in" with highsec's Supreme Protector?


We've often seen miners threaten to petition CCP or contact their powerful friends in nullsec. The next, logical step in the evolution of this tactic is to claim to know an even greater power in EVE.


EDISON's provocative statements drew the attention of additional Agents. His case was becoming a high priority.


EDISON didn't want any confusion, so he made things crystal clear: James 315 was a friend of his, and he was sick of people bumping miners in his name.


...So maybe it wasn't a close friendship, but EDISON could still say with authority that the Saviour wanted his mining ship to be left alone.


Agent Lillie Naari was skeptical. For some reason, it just didn't have the ring of truth. EDISON assured our Agent that once his Facebook account was fully booted, he'd have all the evidence he needed to prove his claim.


EDISON's efforts quickly hit a snag: His Facebook contact was offline, and screenshots could not be posted without clearing a few additional hurdles.


Lillie questioned the miner further. EDISON grew indignant. Why couldn't these Agents see that he had friends in high places?


Then EDISON dropped another bombshell: The Saviour of Highsec had gotten fed up with all this "Code" business, and the mighty CODE. alliance was dead.

To be continued...

32 comments:

  1. Praise Dom! \o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sboulda know Dom was behind this....

      Delete
    2. Wheres marcus when ya need him

      Delete
  2. Didn't another miner try this same tactic before? LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The CODE. alliance will never disappear from the cluster until the last star goes out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who the hell cares if he knows James or not I'm sad I didn't get to pop him, would have sent a message to James that he doesn't matter anymore. We just kill miners to kill em now, screw the permits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice try butthurt miner

      Delete
    2. Proof that you kill miners, or you are one.

      Delete
    3. Yes everyone, proof of kills or terminate yourselves.

      Delete
    4. Did peoples hurt his pooper?

      Delete
    5. Calm down miners

      Delete
  5. CODE. appears to have been dying/dead since 2012, if the carebears are to believed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Confirmed, CODE R DED!

      Source, some numbnutt highsec shitter.

      Delete
    2. Insulting code is against the code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
    3. Foul language is not acceptable by code, terminate yourself.

      Delete
  6. The Saviour of Highsec? Facebook? I mean, I wouldn't rule it out, but....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Im sure if James was using FB in his official capacity, we would all know. Maybe he ran into an impersonator. But more likely he is trying a variant of the "powerful friends" bingo square...

      Delete
    2. Doesnt matter the miner is done anyway lets just hope he quits too tired of all the excuses

      Delete
  7. What's this miner doing to fb? Sticking his boot where?
    Is it 1985 again?

    ReplyDelete
  8. He a dead miner anyways

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why didnt antiganking stop the gank?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who cares lets keep popping him till he rage quits code wins again

      Delete
  10. Ever notice how capsuleers with their names in ALL CAPS are always bad?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just kill em till they rage quit all of em

      Delete
  11. Hello,

    iam pure PVP does anyone wants to duell with me?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOwpGuxez_g&t=365s

    please join so we can duell!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope just unarmed targets for us

      Delete
  12. Hello people here,

    wed need PVP people to bring more Zeppelins down,

    can you help???

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOTqdFEjGjA

    ReplyDelete
  13. hello,

    wed need pvp players do defend our bunkers

    can anyone help!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF3cYklhR1g

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just a little spoiler. If you have john e normus on facebook you have james on facebook.

    ReplyDelete
  15. James is the anti feminist dude.

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.