Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The Ruse Kruise, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Ruse Kruise devised by Agents Jason Kusion and Globby succeeded beyond anyone's wildest dreams. The whole of New Eden was caught up in the whirlwind created by their story about CODE. being robbed of 500 billion isk.


For the Anti-Gankers, the news sounded too good to be true. In their desperation to taste victory for the first time, the Anti-Gankers did everything they could to convince themselves the heist was real.


For some reason, the size of the fake heist kept changing, despite everything being based on Globby's original report, which claimed 500 billion isk had been stolen.


To confirm the authenticity of the heist, Noctis Locus pointed to a previous heist as precedent. Fittingly, he cited another 500 billion isk loss that never occurred. Apparently Kusion's fake heist story was reproducing.


Unsurprisingly, the failing Highsec Militia blog immediately reported the story as a victory for Anti-Ganking. But this was to be expected from a fake news site. What about the "real" EVE news sites?


Noctis excitedly reported that EVE News 24 had confirmed the heist story. Estimates of CODE.'s loss rose still higher.


Despite its initial skepticism, EVE News 24 ultimately accepted the heist story as authentic. They were nudged in this direction by Agent Mildron Klinker, who had been in on the prank from the beginning. What sealed the deal was the rumor that Jason Kusion had also robbed GoonSwarm and ruined its plans for Burn Jita. EN24 couldn't resist believing both CODE. and Goons had suffered a loss.


Crossing Zebras, too, was taken in by the hoax, reporting it as their top story for the week (since CODE. is the most relevant alliance). The amount of the heist was stubbornly difficult to pin down. Crossing Zebras judged it to be roughly 600 billion isk.


Buoyed by the support of "legitimate" EVE news sites, the rumors kept on spreading like wildfire. However, the size of the heist continued to fluctuate.


The Anti-Gankers were now faced with a post-CODE. world. The moralizing began.


The carebears eventually decided that it was inevitable such a thing would take place. After all, shooting spaceships in a spaceship-shooting game makes you a psychopath. Of course a 500 billion isk heist would occur an in organization filled with such people.


Over the following days, the fake heist was still at the forefront of the EVE conversation. With 91% upvotes, yet another thread rocketed to the top of the EVE subreddit. The post was later deleted when its author finally learned it was all a Ruse Kruise.

But surely there were some people who were already skeptical of the fake story at the time, right?


Indeed, there were some doubters. Redditor killmoregore, who commented on the "Someone buy CODE and make it a mining corp pls" thread, was downvoted into oblivion for suggesting the heist story was a troll.


Going on a Ruse Kruise can be expensive. In response to the rumors that I was selling CODE., George Ford put in a bid of 80 billion isk and sent the money to Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet. The deal fell through. It was no one's fault; these things just happen sometimes. Unfortunately, the structure of the deal was such that the entire purchase price was in the form of a non-refundable deposit.


Intoxicated by their counterfeit victory, the Anti-Gankers pondered how I would "spin" the story on MinerBumping. You know, I've said before that I have a really easy job--all I have to do is tell the truth. The CODE always wins. Always. And the truth about all the "CODE. is dying" stories you hear over the years is this: The Code is forever. When the servers go dark and CCP shutters its doors, the only thing that will remain of EVE Online will be the Code.

45 comments:

  1. The butterfly effect alive and well in Eve.

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  2. "Unsurprisingly, the failing Highsec Militia blog immediately reported the story as a victory for Anti-Ganking. But this was to be expected from a fake news site."

    I lol'ed! You guys are master trolls.

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  3. A most excellent story.

    One for the history books.

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  4. Very satisfying - and good to have a reliable report from a solid-gold source!

    Thanks, Saviour!

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  5. So much winning. They are heartbroken in Kino.

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  6. AG never fails to deliver the lulz at their own expense.

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  7. Wow, the "antiganking" folks are true hypocrites. Terrible, terrible people. And not very bright, must be bad genetics.

    They're the reason I won't let my kid play EvE. Who wants to expose their family to such toxic and violent animals.

    Good Job CODE! Hopefully at least some of these shitters will learn from this and quit EvE. The community's reputation would be so much better off without such bad examples.

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    Replies
    1. "terrible people", "not very bright", "bad genetics", "toxic and violent animals", "shitters", "bad examples"

      You seem nice.

      Delete
    2. 123 if you got triggered it's your problem. See some of yourself in those descriptions?

      Take your shitter friends and gtfo. EVE is not for you.

      Delete
    3. Yes, Anon, but it it's true? If the other Anon believes it all to be true, then he is justified in using those terms.

      Politeness is employed when one wishes to disguise the extent of one's opinions, for some reason. It is, in effect, a form of lying - deceit at the very least.

      The use of the word 'nice' in your comment is itself indicative of undisguised moral outrage and disapproval.

      You went to a great deal of trouble in order to parade your Sunday School attitudes before us. Thankfully, being 'nice' is the opposite of being frank or honest. I know which I'd rather go with...

      Delete
    4. EDIT: My comment responds to Anon 1:23....

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    5. Wow. All I said was "You seem nice" and I get told to leave EVE. Because apparently it's better played by someone who fills 25% of their post with unconstructive personal insults and demands.

      If that is your idea of how EVE should be then no, EVE is not for me.

      Delete
    6. It's also quite something to see the raw level of anger shown in the comments on this blog, and the desire to take joy in hurting and upsetting others.

      There's a point where it goes from smacktalking space pixels to just plain real life cruelty and that point is crossed many many times.

      There's also the irony of levelling such intense anger, whilst critisising anti gankers for apparently doing the same.

      Delete
    7. Ganking is bullying?

      I don't just think you are wrong for EvE, I think your kind is bad for our evolution as a species. As a matter our survival I think you should not breed.

      ag always said that you were in RL what you are in game, in that case all you in game shitters are fucking up our RL also.

      XD

      Delete
  8. So is George Ford one of the top CODE. supporters now?

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  9. HSM = CNN of EVE

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  10. Isn't "failing high sec militia" kinda redundant?
    CODE = Lucy and AG = Charlie Brown

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  11. Hahahahaha. Antiganking is demoralized and crushed from the news it was all a hoax. Hahahahhahahaha idiots

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    Replies
    1. Why don't you just log in and tell that to them in person..... ohhhhhh. Still banned.. XDXDXD. how's that feeling? Huge prank and your on the sideline. So much fail with you.

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    2. If I couldn't play eve I'd probably shit post here too.

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    3. Who said im not already ganking again? XDXDXD oops. Dont froth over your keyboard too hard 😂😂😂

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    4. Your Permaban said so.... Are you rocking an single alpha account under the radar? That is awesome... you've fallen so far, just uninstall and walk away. WOW is calling your name.

      Delete
  12. EVE rewards effort, imagination, forethought, shrewdness, and courage.

    Carebears embody laziness, cowardice, and entitlement.
    AG pursue a Quixotic quest of stopping PvP in a PvP game.
    Reddit's EVE section is an echo chamber of ignorance and wishful thinking.

    What do they all have in common? Incompetence at EVE.

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  13. "I have a really easy job - all I have to do is tell the truth.
    The CODE always wins. Always."

    Amen.

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  14. This reminds me of a ruse that the Goons did a few years back.

    Mordus Angels was surrounded and besieged deep in "goon territory". We fought them and hunted them despite being outnumbered 10 to 1 and holding no sov. They heckled us, said we were irrelevant, tried to get us to undock. But we stuck to our guerrilla tactics (and we hardly had any caps, and the ones we had we rarely used).

    One day Massa and Gen Eve got word that a Goon wanted to defect. They brought them into corp and of course the defector was a revenant pilot and it was all a grand ploy to put an expensive supper carrier loss on our killboard. Here is the story:

    https://www.themittani.com/news/imperium-revenant-sacrificed-mordus-angels-deceived.

    Yeah, they shoved that loss in our faces every time we ran into them for months afterwards. Our joke was that we were suddenly "revenant" (as in relevant).

    My point is, the fact that you went this far out of your way to deceive AG, that they are the ones that are 'revenant' now. They must be doing something right.

    Anyway, you know what happened to the goons next... :)

    So keep up the good work AG and High Sec Militia!

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    Replies
    1. You should google "revenant".

      No wonder they call you Faildo.

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    2. When was faildo ever in Moa?

      Link or you were never there.

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    3. So really the source of fake news is code... which is ironically not news. Read any article here for proof. Littered with alternative facts. It's a good comical read though. Keep up the comic book page of the internet.

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    4. Aldo, you're ex-MOA? That makes a lot of sense.

      History lesson for those not in the know:
      Mordu's Agent's (MOA) was once a member of GSF/CFC (The Goons), but their participation metrics were so low they got kicked out of the coalition. You have to be remarkably bad for that to happen. MOA got very butthurt about that for some reason, so decided to hole up in NPC Pure Blind (because it's impossible to be evicted from an NPC station) and dedicate years of their existence to exacting revenge Goon ratters. They were widely regarded as a joke alliance because they never held any sov, but were always desperate to be considered relevant.

      I can see how the move to AG would have been a natural one for you.

      Delete
    5. Eugénie BrazierMarch 8, 2017 at 2:02 AM

      Since when has AG ever been relevant? Keep pulling at that string of hope friend. Praise James!

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    6. More alternate facts from Lawrence.

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    7. Yes Mordus Angles were a part of CFC for a few months due to the diplomatic work of Vile Rat. We thought it was a joke. We kept killing you guys and so you kicked us.

      We did not originate in the CFC... a few of our corps go all the way back to the mighty BoB.

      Delete
    8. Faildo was never moa

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    9. Antiganking tries a call of arms to stop jita and burn goons and fails. Hard. Hahahahaha

      Delete
    10. being in MOA and joining Antigankers?
      dayum son...
      that is considered a DOUBLE fail? or perhaps a MEGA fail?

      Delete
    11. @Kip Winger HSM:
      All the Reddit threads propelled to the front page by carebears and the extatic posts on AG blogs are fake news, because they meet the objective criteria of fake news: writing what the targeted public wants to hear without any relation to facts.

      The posts on minerbumping.com, in contrast, are based on nothing but true facts.

      Delete
    12. meeererrrer I'm Agent S and I'm Shitty. Merrr.

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    13. Code made the fake news. Period.

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    14. I hate to tell you @Agent S, Just like all the scams that get reported, does not discredit the reporting entity... (especially in the shady Eve Universe where facts are hard to come by) it is the source. In this situation the source was from a code agent.. and then blessed by code, which your own article confirms. Its just fake news to inflate egos that run this site trying to drum up some additional 3 part nonsense content. Please just get back to the comedy. Its what you do best.

      Delete
  15. Aldo: "My point is, the fact that you went this far out of your way to deceive AG"

    This would indeed kinda make ag relevant - if it were true. But it wasn't true; and your statement, above, is just a poorly disguised attempt to make it appear so.

    The ruse was aimed squarely at all the rebels in the player base, and it succeeded wonderfully.

    Wasn't BoB full of CCP cheats or something? I wasn't around at the time, but James was, and so was Kugutsumen...

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  16. But where oh where is Ming?

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  17. This is so hilarious. Well done yet again Code. Glory to the Saviour and his agents.

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  18. OMG this is hilarious. The anti-gank spin doctors must be working overtime. :D

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