Sunday, March 19, 2017

Kills of the Week

"Ten million isk for a permit is too expensive," says the greedy miner. "I pay CCP for my subscription and no one else," the isk-grubber boasts. And then we hearing the bleating, "How can a newbie afford to buy a permit?" The real question is, how can a newbie afford not to buy one? For we all know that it's far more expensive to go without a permit. Consider the costs incurred by the following non-compliants, from the week of March 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Xeus Juntu tanked up his Mackinaw with a highly flammable substance: bling. The pricey mods attracted the notice of Agents Luna Nightblood, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, and Ralliana. As Agent Salah observed, the Mackinaw would've had 75k EHP, or 110k EHP if overheated--against Catalysts. So our infinitely versatile Agents brought Tornadoes instead.



Late last week, ohotnik15 was spotted flying a blingy Golem through The Forge region. Agents Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Ralliana, Pod Destroyer Molly, Luna Nightblood, Tax Collector Stroheim, and Underpaid Ship Mechanic knew there was something off about this guy. They rallied a force to take him down, but were surprised by what happened next:


ohotnik15 went batty and invited CONCORD onto the killmail.



How many freighters need to die before people learn how to use them properly? rashaverak apparently tried to "tank" his ship by filling it with cargo. The 29 billion isk behemoth signed his own death warrant. An indignant mob formed to stop him from continuing to flout the Code: Agents Synamic, Miros Homar, Dewzer Eyre, Ampelius Loukianos, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, Tantaria Stavanghar, Kyt Thrace, Yojiro, Blasty McVoidFace, neurothic, Alexis Grixis, Selo ibnSedef, Marcos Tolg, Whitney Wooberg, Bob Painter, Gea Stormbound, Liz Cadelanne, Grant Bant, Inspector Implant, Bint Bint, Catharina Hakoke, Jason Kusion, Skeezy McSkeez, Slipstream Prediouca, Dragalis Miraxim, Dirk Utama, Ivana Freemam, Joel Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Sinagico, Jake Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Lead Colonist Dallocort, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joseph Kusion, The Tension, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Sigmund Jund, Jasper Esper, and SynthiaGreey.



Another question: How many Deep Space Transports need to die before the carebears realize we're wise to their schemes? Acces thought he was very clever when he stuffed nearly 10 billion isk of cargo into his Bustard. But no one is cleverer than our Agents. Pod Destroyer Molly, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector HongMei, and Tax Collector GetGoodKid blapped the Bustard and were horrified by what they discovered:


6.2 billion isk in mining drones? Sickening.



The carebear mewls, "Why don't you shoot ships that can shoot back?" To which we must respond, "Why don't you fit weapons on your combat ships?" Freyion Serine abused a Gnosis hull by fitting it with mining equipment and cargo expanders. Agents William Telluric, Hero Of HiSec, and Tisiphone Dira arrived and gave it a merciful death.



Lion Gold's is a sad story. She was autopiloting in a completely unfit Heron-class frigate. It was destroyed, but her pod kept plodding along and jumped through the gate into Agent HARMONY ST0NER SMURF's system. That's where her journey ended.


In all, 4.6 billion isk worth of implants were evaporated. If you're curious what an Asklepian set does, it's similar to a Crystal set: It provides a bonus to your armor reps. A must-have for any unfit Heron pilot.

7 comments:

  1. I don't know which was more offensive, the DST or the Mining Gnosis. I don't suppose it matters, since they both earned their fate a thousand times over.

    Another good chuckle with which to end the week. Thanks James. ag will be along shortly to trumpet their impotence, as usual. Heigh-ho...

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  2. wow antigankers really are failing so hard right now. remember when they got laughed out of jita? Pepperidge farm remembers XD XD XD !!!!1

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  3. Using Tornados? Cool! What were the fits?

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    Replies
    1. Zkill is the go-to tool for fits both rebel and friendly. You can glean a lot from its pages.

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  4. Git gud chode scrubs!

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  5. Agree with that! how many Teletubbies player playn EVE?? Get them some ingame rockets so they wake up... This is a part of code i like more than the minerbumping stuff

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