Monday, March 13, 2017

The Family Meeting, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Zopiclone discovered an AFK miner in a highsec asteroid belt. Even more shockingly, the miner was a permit owner. Joden Ka was terminated for his betrayal, but he claimed his absence from his keyboard was justified because he'd been talking with his family for three minutes about the impending sale of their home.
Zopiclone > Miner I have invited you to a channel to plea your case.
Joden Ka > it said it needed a password
Joden Ka > which i dont have
Zopiclone > 315 is the password
Zopiclone recused herself and referred the matter to the most impartial, objective group of people she could think of.
Zopiclone > Kill: Joden Ka (Retriever) even had a permit.... Kill: Joden Ka (Capsule)
Zopiclone > But must have been AFK
Lament von Gankenheim > shame
Alt 00 > Buying a permit and going AFK is effectively a breach of contract - a miner trying to scam us
Fiddly Pop > yes
Before inviting Joden Ka to the channel, Zopiclone briefed everyone on the matter. She took care not to skew her account one way or the other.
Starshade > There's always some flimsy excuse for the inexcusable
Alt 00 > 3 minutes - an admission of total guilt
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > they really think we are an extortion ring or something
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > as opposed to a philantropic organization that aims to improve the behhavior and awareness of miners
Jeyne Farrow > I know. We are so reasonable with them too
The channel in question was MinerBumping, the ultra-cool headquarters of the New Order. Everyone active in the channel at the time was an Agent. They were scandalized by the Joden Ka story.
Gentleman Thief > Idle hands and all that
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > it means he did not read the Code
Alt 00 > In other words, he was running a scam
Alt 00 > Amazing how the miners like to twist everything
Alt 00 > Perhaps you should invite him here, for a fair trial
Great minds think alike, which is why all of our Agents think alike. Alt 00 suggested Zopiclone bring the miner into the channel.
Gentleman Thief > Zopiclone invite him here. We'll hear his plea
Gentleman Thief > as a fair and unbiased jury of his peers, we can judge if his actions were reasonable
Zopiclone > Joden Ka welcome
Joden Ka > yes
Zopiclone > So this is a safe place. Please let our higher ups know what happened
The miner was eager for a sympathetic ear--and even more eager for reimbursement isk. He didn't hesitate to join the channel.
Alt 00 > Good evening, friend
Gentleman Thief > Joden Ka welcome. We'd just like to hear what happened?
Joden Ka > well i was mining and was called by my family and i stepped away for 3 min to get a drink and talk and i come back to find myself under attack and killed
Starshade > Joden Ka There it is.
Joden wasted no time in confessing his guilt. A previously undisclosed detail emerged: At least part of his three-minute absence had been spent getting a drink.
Alt 00 > I see, so you admit to not being at the keyboard during that time?
Joden Ka > yep i had an issue to deal with
Starshade > You were AFK. I understand there are situations where you need to leave, but there are always stations you can dock in.
Joden Ka > i didnt realise i would be justifiably killed for discussing things with my family
The miner was alarmed to see the tide turn against him so quickly. He was already on the defensive.
Alt 00 > I meant to ask - did you speak with Agent Zopiclone about this issue first?
Joden Ka > yep
Joden Ka > i just came back to the game
Alt 00 > And were you granted permission to go AFK?
Joden Ka > i didnt talk to her beforehand
Another damning admission soon followed. Our Agents, who were so open-minded and receptive to the miner's point of view, couldn't help but feel Joden's potential reimbursement isk was slipping away from him.
Alt 00 > Why not before?
Joden Ka > cause she came in system while i was talking to my family
Joden Ka > i didnt realize it would be a violation
Alt 00 > Agents of the New Order will allow you to go AFK for a moment if it is a real-life emergency. All you need do is to ask
Joden Ka > last time i was in this game it was ok to mine and do stuff
A dangerous utterance escaped Joden's lips. He seemed to be nostalgic for the pre-Code era. Decent people know highsec was a nightmare in those days. Was Joden secretly a counter-revolutionary of some kind?
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > it still is OK to mine and do stuff
Joden Ka > evidently not
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > but if you want to do it in highsec, you have to follow the Code
Shub-Niggurath Podienne > would you ever leave your keyboard if you were mining in a wormhole?
Alt 00 > Or leave your car seat whilst driving?
Our Agents reminded the miner--if he ever knew it to begin with--that obedience to the Code is no more restrictive than wisdom itself.
Joden Ka > i wasn't in a wormhole
Joden Ka > now your assuming that im stupid?
Jeyne Farrow > Joden Ka i think this case is clear. You have not read the Code properly, and understood the requirements of miners everywhere. I am sorry, but it appears the actions of the agent in this case were justifiable
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I think a fresh start is called for
Joden Ka > i'm still out a ship and implants
The miner urged the court to consider his troubled state. He was destitute.
Mr Xofar > A mining permit is only as good as the code you follow
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > This way we know you're serious about compliance.
Alt 00 > Breach of contract on the other hand, is not acceptable
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Do you see how we speak with one voice?
Jeyne Farrow > If that is not consent of the people, and a fair jury of your peers, I do not know what is
Zopiclone > Praise James
The decision of the tribunal was unanimous. To be honest, it was an easy case.
Jeyne Farrow > Joden Ka would you like me to forward a new permit then?
Joden Ka > high sec used to be free when i last played....and this code didn't exist
Joden's mind harbored some dark thoughts, it seemed. Would he get right with the Code--or would he get himself into even more trouble?

To be continued...


  1. why is it that everyone who gets ganked has just recently returned to eve?? XD XD!!!1

    antigankers failing non-stop daily XD XD

    1. Because mining is so dull and unrewarding, and because he never learned how to PvP, the miner regularly grows bored, taking breaks often enough that he is in a perpetual state of just having returned to EVE. He then uses his 'newness' as an excuse for bad behaviour. When he is punished for his bad behaviour, he uses his next break as evidence of a "lost subscription" on the part of CCP.

      Carebears cloak everything they do in perpetual hypocrisy and deceit, and they are only capable of improving by repeated punches to the wallet.

  2. Ihr betreibt Rollenspiel? Private Chat Protokolle posten und mit kruden Kommentaren versehen, sobald euch ein naiver Zeitgenosse auf den Leim geht? Erinnert mich an Fr├╝hst├╝cksfernsehen. Ein paar rostige Schrauben in das Getriebe der Rohstoffproduktion streuen... geht es darum? Wie gesagt, ihr wirkt wie ein verkappter Trupp heimatloser Faschos

    1. You seem upset, tearful. Let me help.

      The Saviour is Gracious and Merciful, in that you may say what you like, in any language of your choosing in his comments section.

      Understand also that few (if any) of the non-German speakers will bother to run your drivel through Google Translate. Thus, your comment will be addressed to and understood by the speakers of your language. And yourself.

      If you managed to read and understand a blog written in English, including the subtlety of its humour, I find it strange that you couldn't compose a response of some sort in the same language.

      You've failed on several levels to make any impression on us at all.

      I do hope I've treated that gaping wound of yours...

    2. 1140 learn to english like civilized folk.


      Heil! O/ O/ O/ O/

  3. Will I be reimbursed for the life-years I lost to suspense while I was waiting for multi-part posts to be published?

    You let those dangerous, potentially rebellious miners so close to the honest agents. He even knows the secret password. Hope he didn't manage to scam any of you.. Now the tension will gnaw in me until I'll know for sure.

  4. Ehh... things here are getting rather dull. Reading the same spin over and over gets quite boring. Yeah, once in a while something innovative will get posted, but that is far too rarely to keep dredging through everything else. Had some fun points though.


    1. May I then direct your attention to the Highsec Militia blog - which, if you take this well-meant advice, nobody will be reading, but yourself.

      There's no finer EVE blog than MinerBumping in the whole blogosphere, and well you know it. Humour, instruction, crisp elegant prose. Your tedium is likely a malaise whose origins are firmly situated in your own lack of lust for life. Or something like that...

    2. Thank you, Rob. As usual, you have put it more elegantly than I would (or could) have. In addition to the Saviour's well-written words, I look forward to seeing your comments here as well.

      I was going to ask why the dullAnon keeps coming to read the blog, if it is so dull. But perhaps he comes here for your insight in the comments section, too! :D

  5. But where oh where is Ming?

  6. For those who have not had a chance to see and enjoy the outstanding "The Code is Forever" series (and those who have), #33 has just been uploaded. Not only does it have the excellent editing and as in all of The New Order of Gamis Affiliaties' videos, this one has a new (to me, anyway) feature which adds to the enjoyment and hilarity -- the miners' comments are now rendered in audio. Although not as salty/whiny/angry as if it were voiced by the original miner, much of the flavor comes through. Thanks, Kalorned, for more outstanding content!


    1. The Code is Forever? Is this on YouTube?

    2. Having miners comments rendered in audio was very good. I listened to that during work, which made work much more fun.

  7. So....I left EVE shortly before the Zopiclone heist story. Was that all a ruse or is this an old log?

    1. Zopiclone is the nicest person you'll ever meet! But looking at the: Zkill
      let me know what you think?

    2. Hard to say. This is a great story that has not been told yet. Maybe loyalanon would like to tell us what happened.

  8. "high sec used to be free"

    That's miner talk for being allowed to abuse the space and disrespect himself without anybody caring.

    James 315 brought order. There can be no freedom without Order. Because James 315 cares.

    1. Pfft... High Sec was never free to begin with. Anyone who says otherwise is deluding themselves. I'm glad that James 315 and the Agents have brought order from chaos.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.