Monday, March 6, 2017

The Ruse Kruise, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agents Jason Kusion and Globby pranked the EVE populace with a tall tale about a 500 billion isk heist of CODE. assets. Despite its outrageous details, Redditors and Anti-Gankers alike totally bought the story. Soon Agent loyalanon and others began adding even more fanciful material to the whopper, only to have their own posts upvoted to the top of the EVE subreddit, too.


The Anti-Gankers gleefully shared the false story, accepting it without hesitation.


Though CODE. had surely been maimed by the loss of its 500 billion isk stash, it was unclear how much longer the New Order would be able to survive.


Before long, the Kusion Ruse Kruise was all the carebears of New Eden could think or talk about.


A new cottage industry sprouted up in the Anti-Ganking channel. Self-proclaimed experts offered their analysis of the situation. Though CODE. has never stored anything like 500 billion isk worth of assets at any given time, Selenta confidently projected that the 500 billion represented 80% of CODE.'s wealth.


In celebration of the historic event, more Redditors got in on the action. One posted a thread entitled How do we sponsor this killmail?, showing an imaginary zKillboard record of the destruction of CODE. due to the heist.


Reddit was seized by "CODE. is dying!" fever. Soon the entire subreddit was dominated by posts about the fictional heist, all of which were upvoted to the very top.


The official EVE forums were no different. The normally dormant EVE-O lit up with activity. Players were fascinated: At last, something was actually happening in the world of EVE--and it involved the game's most relevant alliance, too!


Meanwhile, the Anti-Ganking's most jaded, skeptical member weighed in. The cynical Jennifer en Marland, one of the channel's moderators, announced that she was convinced the heist actually occurred. The Reddit post had the ring of truth to it.


By contrast, loyalanon's post--claiming to be my alt and announcing the end of MinerBumping--was found to be less credible. At least, it wasn't 100% certain like the news of the heist.


Nevertheless, rumors continued to swirl. Dom Arkaral was purportedly my alt, and he had plans to sell control of the CODE. alliance to the highest bidder. Even the amount of the heist was subject to change.


The news, of course, inspired philosophical musings from the Anti-Gankers, who now pondered the lessons to be learned from it.


New conspiracy theories were developed, as well as competition from different experts on CODE. Isalia Garon put CODE.'s total wealth at 1.5 trillion isk--far greater than earlier estimates.


The Anti-Gankers rejoiced at more good news: Jason Kusion had stolen assets from the Goons as well, forcing them to postpone Burn Jita indefinitely. Was a new era of peaceful carebearing about to begin, or would the industrialists of highsec find their dreams shattered?

To be continued...

31 comments:

  1. A recurring theme I see from Carebears outside of AG is the claim that ganking is a valid use of mechanics, but is not valid when it's done for the betterment of Highsec, or without a substantial profit motive, or in the name of James 315. These Carebears purport that ganking is fine when it's random or profitable, but that ganking out of principle is a problem.

    This is a trick to weaken us by separating us from our unifying Code. Never give an inch! We know that ganking out of principle is the most meaningful and powerful kind of ganking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ganking is ok. Trolling makes you an ass. Period.

      Delete
    2. It's not a troll to destroy trespassers in our space and to enforce to Law set by James 315.

      Delete
    3. Ah, but hold on a moment Anon; this was Elite trolling, no?

      Delete
  2. hahahahahahahaha seeing the antiganking chat posts is hilarious. they were so proud of themselves, it must be devastating that it turned out to be fake news XD XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. seems more likely that this current story is the made up one in a desperate attempt to make code look less stupid.

      Delete
    2. You missed the first image in the first part XD XD. are you dumb?

      Delete
    3. Course he's dumb; they're all dumb.

      Delete
    4. also easily faked, I can do the same thing with one hand behind my back. Especially considering the black background. This is the age of computers bro, simple screenshots mean jack shit anymore.

      Delete
    5. yet here you are to anonymously whine and cry on our blog. thanks for the traffic XD XD idiot

      Delete
    6. could say the same about you and your constant need to defend yourself ;) So...you got some more tears for me as well?

      Delete
  3. This will go down in history as the most epic troll of all time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. alternative facts everywhere nowadays.
    nothing is what it seems.

    let´s put it on the Swedish.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Waiting for Anon from the previous instalment to tell us again how 'No one believed it'.....

    Still waiting.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one believed it. Those are all Code alts.

      Especially Lorwynn Falconwind.

      Delete
    2. She is a very convincing depiction of a thin-skinned carebear who uses block as a weapon. Good thing you can't block Void S!

      Delete
    3. Wait. Jennifer en Marland is a 'Code' alt? Wow, just WOW!

      Delete
    4. Lorwynn is NOT a code alt. She is a freedom fighter and a member of the High Sec Militia: A regular bad-ass and destroyer of gankers and their kin.

      and Jen is just awesome.

      The fact that you mention them here in your twisted blog of fake facts and warped sense of reality only confirms that THEY are the ones under YOUR incredibly thin skins! :P

      Delete
    5. Faildo Raine remember when the highsec militia fell for this story?

      http://highsecmilitia.blogspot.co.nz/2017/02/code-alod-karma-has-no-menu.html

      Pepperidge farm remembers XD XD XD!!!1

      Delete
    6. Aldo, would you try not to get triggered quite so easily? Take a leaf out of Jennifer's book: Quiet, calm deliberation disentangles every knot.

      Next time, pause for thought before you come vomiting your tripe all over our wonderful comments section.

      Delete
  6. Oh man, where to begin...

    ALL of the people featured in the above screenshots just had their hatred and pettiness exposed.

    Anger mixed with hesitant exuberance. Happy but still mad, wtf carebears?

    Do you hate people that gank that bad? EvE is PvP.
    You can cry about how much pve is in EvE, but it only exists to make you a target, to force an interaction. If you hate someone for playing the game the way it was intended (as a roleplaying mmo) you are petty and need to go back to WoW.

    Your kind are not welcome here, friend.

    Those chat logs are almost uncomfortable to read, but then I realize how toxic and evil the ag folks are, and I smile.

    They deserved it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there was no risk in Highsec the Carebears wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Mining drama would be their only excitement. They would cry about people who mine a rock that's already being mined by someone else.

      Delete
  7. Oh great! Now Jennifer en Marland is going to be in a bad mood and she'll have to come shoot me a half dozen times to return to her usual level of cool-headedness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just kill her one time and she rage quits

      Delete
    2. Dunno why she puts up with that lot in the ag channel though Wolf. She's at least an opponent, unlike those lily-liver'd cronies of hers...

      Delete
    3. https://zkillboard.com/kill/60592204/

      She went all the way to null, just to die to some hisec gankers. Is that irony?

      Delete
  8. How funny that I'm gone for just a week on vacation and the carebear propaganda is going strong. I look forward to when I return and I climb into a bumper and go to town. My skills should be trained up by the time I return. They'll see that the Code is still going strong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So satisfying to see Redditors put in their place.

    Please sir, can I have some more?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well it seems that lot of highsec shitters get their info from reddit.

    That's just one of the many things that makes them highsec shitters.

    They all look pretty foolish now.

    Faildo must be the easiest person to trigger EVAH! He's like a woman on her period, the least little thing will set him off. Maybe he's a kotex biovector alt.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ah, Reddit, that dilapidated stronghold of impotent carebearism.

    ReplyDelete

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