Monday, March 20, 2017

The Slow and the Furious, Part 1

Jita holds a special place in the world of EVE. It's a system where fortunes can be made or lost in a day--often the same day, in the case of isk-doubling. It's also an incredibly busy system, a place where the teeming masses of highsec mingle together to exchange goods and ideas.
Argyss Oqemi > CODE is stupid
Argyss Oqemi > CODE == PEDOPHILE
Argyss Oqemi > hahaha
Neocount > CDOE are literally the pedophiles of eve
Neocount > and eveyone should spread the word abt that
Not all of the goods and ideas are legit. Just as there are contract scams with empty packages, there are also faulty ideas.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton is in here? he's one of the head pedo's and i already have him blocked
Argyss Oqemi > is here currently or was
Argyss Oqemi > yea hes in system
Argyss Oqemi > that freaking pedophile
Two carebears struck up a conversation with each other in Jita. Argyss Oqemi was the first to speak; Neocount heard his anti-Code rhetoric and immediately embraced him.
Lawrence Lawton > My in-game character is certainly not a pedophile. I don't think there even are any children in this game.
Argyss Oqemi > you and all your CODE brethren are pedophiles, plain and simple
Argyss Oqemi > do you cannot tax the high security sector
Neocount > Argyss Oqemi thx Lawrence Lawton is a head pedophile
Lawrence Lawton > Show me where the catalyst touched you, miner.
Agent Lawrence Lawton was in Jita at the time and logged the criminal activity. After a brief investigation, he learned the source of Neocount's vendetta:

Several weeks earlier, Neocount had lost a 6.6 billion isk Orca in Uedama. He was still sore about it. Argyss' rantings in local inspired Neocount to voice his anger anew.
Argyss Oqemi > if you want to be serious enforcer dont send your pedo victims after me
Argyss Oqemi > its really messed up to make them do that for you after you touch them, and they are too shaken up to fight
Argyss Oqemi > CODE == PEDOPHILES
Neocount > Dude CODE are nothing but fucking Pedophile and i unblockedlawence fucking peophile to show that
Judging by the "conversation", Neocount was easily led. Unfortunately, he allowed himself to be led by a fellow carebear, rather than a responsible leader like one of our Agents.
Lawrence Lawton > Rude
Lawrence Lawton > New Order territory is a safe space for suicide gankers. Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect.
Neocount > the only people that attack defenseless people are CODE and pedophile
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton you are a RP piece of shit that has no morals nor capacity
DIRTNAPZ > he hates retards
The New Order believes in free speech, but it also has to be fair speech. Agent Lawrence politely reminded the miners that Jita local is meant to be used in service of the Code, not to thwart it.
Lawrence Lawton > Dunno. Lowsec gatecamps attack a lot of defenseless people.
Lawrence Lawton > Nullsec hotdrops attack a lot of defenseless people.
Neocount > you belong in null sec if you are gonna prey on defenseless people you piecfe of shit
Lawrence Lawton > I think the problem the expectation you seem to have of safety. Highsec is a dangerous place--get used to it.
Argyss Oqemi > its only dangerous because of pedophiles like you
It didn't take Lawrence long to win the argument. He had logic and facts on his side; the carebears only had their misguided rage.
Neocount > if you COULD PVP you would be in null sec but no, you prey on the defenseless
Neocount > the expectation is that i have is that people are decent human beings, you are not
Lawrence Lawton > Calm down, miner. Highsec is the elite PvP zone. There is neverending content.
Neocount > don't tell me to do anything you piecve of shit, you wanna take anyones' time or in game money?
All of Jita bore witness to the scene: A well-mannered, intelligent Agent, and a pair of vile, unruly carebears. Lawrence could sense that the crowd, though still mostly silent, was with him.
Argyss Oqemi > james315 has sexes with little ones
Lawrence Lawton > James 315 is the Supreme Protector of Highsec. Don't speak that way of your leader.
Argyss Oqemi > james315 == STUPID IDIOT
Neocount > \the security on is fucking pathetic
Argyss Oqemi > Neocount i noticed that as well, has been for a cpl of months
Argyss Oqemi > lets have some fun
Neocount and Argyss agreed that would be easy to hack or DDoS. That would have to wait, though. For the moment, they were content to make fools of themselves in local.
Lawrence Lawton > A mining permit would help you calm down. Send me 10m ISK and I'll get you sorted.
Shiu Len > james 315 can suck my code!!!!
Lawrence Lawton > James 315 is not interested in your sexual fantasies.
Neocount > you are a piece of shit, and you will always be nothing more than a piece of shit that preys on freighters and miners that can't defend themselves
Lawrence Lawton > Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity.
Lawrence repeatedly quoted the Code to show that the miners were in the wrong. Yet he was still having trouble getting through to them.
Argyss Oqemi > Lawrence Lawton i would like to shit on your chest
Lawrence Lawton > My in-game chest?
Argyss Oqemi > and piss on CODE
Argyss Oqemi > no irl, i would like to
Neocount > that's extortion and against every social rule in humanity, so i spread the rumor that you and your pedo f*g assh*le are nothing more than pedophiles
Neocount > that prey on the weak and try destroy
Our Agent was surprised to hear that Neocount was so concerned with upholding social rules. Up to this point, Lawrence had gotten the impression that Neocount didn't respect social rules very much.
Neocount > coward
Neocount > fucking coward
Neocount > nothing more than a fucking coward i8s all that james 315 is
Ella Sokarad > So nasty and rude in local tonight
Lawrence Lawton > Miners need to calm down. They're killing the game!
Neocount > no, code is killing the fucking game, fucking alp[-has, pie3ces of shit, you wanna get your rocks off, get a prostitute, if you wanna pick on somebody, pick a fight in real life, you so much a coward you pick on freighters ineve
Jita local was becoming almost as toxic as the Anti-Ganking channel. Lawrence worried that it might have a negative effect on the retention rates of new players. Was there any way to get these miners to calm down?

To be continued...


  1. He's waiting for James 315 balls to drop

  2. Calm down, Miners. Those are some awfully big words from a couple of people who hide behind the cloak of Anonymity. How about you reveal yourselves like good little miners and then we can get you set up with proper permits at 10mil ISK each.

    You call CODE followers cowards, yet we are the ones in the light who are keeping high sec, civil. Where are you hiding at? In the shadows. Step into the light.

  3. "Jita holds a special place in the world of EVE. It's a system where fortunes can be made or lost in a day--often the same day, in the case of isk-doubling. It's also an incredibly busy system, a place where the teeming masses of highsec mingle together to exchange goods and ideas."

    In only two phrases, James 315 makes a better description of Jita better than one thousands carebears streams.
    Also way most funnier :D

  4. Yay! It took me 2 hours to separate out all the Jita spam to produce a usable chat log, but it was worth it.

    1. was Kalorned selling mining stuff in local again? :P

  5. I've noticed that the anti-Code fanatics often repeat their same 'buzzword' repeatedly in local, as if this repetition somehow wins them a moral or logical argument.

    Well done Agent Lawrence for dealing with these Code violating vermin in your usual professional manner.

    Praise James! \0/

    1. you´d be a good fit for a black uniform with a skull emblem on your cap and some runes on your collar.
      recently "euthanasia", now "vermin", you´re certainly atuned to the vocabulary the german wearers of those uniforms used about 70 years ago.
      says something about you...

    2. Right. Neocount was all on about pedophilia. The goal of the metaphor was to cast himself as the innocent, defenseless, childlike victim of CODE. aggression, and to tarnish the reputation of our fine organization in front of a large audience. He was drinking at the time. We'll see how it went....

    3. @Anon808
      Way to diminish the plight of the Jews by comparing it to a video game.
      Remember, nobody is a miner by birth, only by choice. We aim to correct that choice.

  6. wow antigankers shouldn't throw stones at code when talking about kids - remember? XD XD XD!!!!1

  7. Hey, any high ranking code members willing to talk to me on camera about The Code also about highsec in general. Contact me in game if ur interested.

  8. I feel like these miners are the low-point of miners. I don't mine for profit (i mean i still make a little isk, but Christ, there are much more lucrative ways to generate isk.) I mine for the white noise, and the relaxation of it. Doesn't mean I go gallivanting about in an untanked miner, even when I have fleet support. I have yet to meet any of your charming agents (no really you guys have some eloquent presentation.) in the system I occasionally mine in, but if I do, I'll remember to keep it civil. Sure your actions are jerkish, but you at least conduct yourselves like gentlemen and gentlewomen.

    1. Thank you, Anon 10:01. Now may we interest you in a permit so that you can mine in total peace and relaxation? As I can personally attest to, as having bought a permit both for this character and my alt that is an explorer, it gives me a sense of security knowing that CODE Agents are enforcing this glorious rule of High Sec and will not bother me unless I somehow space out and not follow Agent instructions. :)

    2. I'm currently hoarding isk to fit a marchariel for missions so I can set up jump clones for pvp later on. But hey maybe.

  9. Calm down peasant. We are better eve players than you. Bow down to your superior. - Elite AG

  10. Typical fake posts made by chode peasant. How pathetic. What you need to do now is donate all your isk to AG and apologize being so rude. Bow down to your superior peasants! -Elite AG

  11. I live with (and am in a committed relationship with) a victim of child predators, so throwing that around wantonly like this just kinda makes them seem inconsiderate and desperate to bash. Come on Hi-sec miners, stop being assholes. Anti-gankers... Just work on your professional conduct.

    1. There are no professionals in ag, therefore no professional conduct. Just shitters and ghetto queens.

    2. Now, now, Anon 4:34, there's no need to step down to the ag level. As CODE aspirants we need to be above such petty and foul language.

  12. Apologize for being rude? You HAVE been reading the same posts that I've been reading, right?

  13. Hey 606,

    It's "ag". There are no caps in antiganking, only ignorant uneducated shitters, like yourself.

    But thanks for taking the time to shed some tears.


  14. I wonder how many segments this article will have.

    Neocount's meltdown in Jita was hilarious to watch in person. The Glorious and Noble Knights of HighSec tried to reason with Neocount and his twisted view of EVE to no avail. It is quite a challenge helping those who strayed too far from the wisdom of James315.

    Praise be to James315!


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