Friday, March 31, 2017

You Don't Know James, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... EDISON ENGLISH woke up to find his mining ship being bumped out of the ice anomaly by Agents of the New Order. He commanded them to halt, claiming that he was a friend of the Saviour of Highsec.

EDISON spun a woeful tale of a dying CODE. alliance. Agent Lillie Naari didn't believe EDISON's story, but she wanted to conduct a thorough investigation of the matter.

A protip for all you carebears out there: Our Agents always know more than you. Always.

So far, EDISON was sticking to his story. But he had yet to produce any evidence.

EDISON stalled for time. Our Agents kept on him. The miner was starting to grow nervous.

EDISON's story imploded. The frazzled carebear was at a loss to prove his connection to the Supreme Protector.

Our Agents were frank with the miner. Simply put, they didn't believe a word he was saying.

Agent AGBee 001 dropped a hint that she knew more about EDISON's own story than EDISON did--but the miner failed to pick up on it.

Agent Lillie relentlessly interrogated the miner. EDISON still wouldn't admit defeat. The pressure was clearly getting to him, though.

Stray hashtags came flying out of EDISON's keyboard. He was on the verge of panic.
EDISON ENGLISH > i know dom..on fb..i know james from eve..thats all..take or leve
Lillie Naari > can you prove either of these claims?
EDISON ENGLISH > i sec need a pee
Lillie Naari > Can you offer any shred of evidence to corroborate your wild allegations?
The miner tried another stalling tactic. Lillie didn't mind. When the miner returned from his bathroom break, she'd be ready to continue the interrogation.
AGBee 001 > Remove the permit at once
EDISON ENGLISH > no i paid for my permit
EDISON ENGLISH > its legit..unlike u guys
AGBee 001 > I invalidated it
EDISON ENGLISH > u cant invalidate my permit
Agent AGBee 001 cut to the chase: EDISON's mining permit was revoked. The miner was aghast--ten million isk right out the window.
Lillie Naari > So EDISON, at this point, i guess the easier thing is to ask what you HAVENT been lying about.
EDISON ENGLISH > well he dont add or at least says he dont add eve t his rl fb page..thats why no eviance only pvt chats ect..i cant proove much untill hre responds to my msg on fb
EDISON ENGLISH > rthats the truth ruth
AGBee 001 > You strike me as a pathalogical liar, which is exactly what James says we should expect from a non-compliant miner.
The sputtering miner put his head in his hands. Why wouldn't anyone believe him?
AGBee 001 > EDISON ENGLISH because of your constant lies, I have no choice but to put a Triple Red Pen violation on file for you.
EDISON ENGLISH > im telling the truth
AGBee 001 > Miner, I swear to James
AGBee 001 > If you swear in this chat one more time
Things went from bad to worse. These Agents meant business. Now EDISON's only hope was for the Saviour of Highsec to miraculously appear.

To be continued...


  1. wow antigankers are really failing right now

  2. Jeezus christ, this edison character is quite the specimen.

  3. Kill him till he rage quits, eve doesn't need miners

  4. I'm sure Dom/James will appear in part 3 (maybe even in the flesh, or just on fb) and clears the miner. He'll turn out to be an old highschool buddy.

  5. Fight the evil gankers do a great service for the peaceful citizens of High Sec. Join the High Sec Militia today!

    1. Nope just kill the miners, freighters, and the noobs. Make em all quit

    2. *Snooooooooooore* Huh? What? Oh... just AG again? *Goes back to sleep*

    3. So how does one sign up for the "high sec militia"? I don't see a corp or alliance to join. Something's sketchy here.

    4. They sooooo cute, I will join if they got tacos

    5. No corp, no alliance, no tacos.

      No militia.

    6. But I love tacos, Ill explode without tacos, that happens sometimes

  6. Nope we like soft targets that don't shoot back

  7. 339 speak for yourself, ag scum.

  8. I know James IRL, he is actually Steve Buscemi. Most of you AG won't believe me, but it's the truth, the guy is a legend.

    1. The rat faced guy really

    2. That "rat faced guy" is more successful and gets laid more than you.

      That makes you the ultimate fail, for posting without thinking.

      Good job ag.

    3. Awwww we gots us a carebear here aint he so cute see how riled up he is whos a lil carebear yes yous a lil carebear aint dat right.

    4. Let me guess Anon530 you measure success with money and sexual exploits. You really need to grow out of that miner mindset, your an agent of code stop acting like a greedy miner and grow up.

    5. This guy is nothing but ag this and ag that. Obsessed much, geez go pop some miners and get off the ag wagon.

    6. Tell me where ag touched you and we can file a report.

    7. James is really Donald Trump, good business sense and he's grabbing all the P***IES.

  9. But we don't like things shooting us back, that why we do miners an freighter an such cuz they cannot shoot

  10. Only ag likes shooting things that cant fight back.

    Gankers love shooting combat targets, ag loves shooting targets that are guaranteed to die and not be able to fight back.

    Gankers have alts that regularly pvp in low/null, ag hides in highsec and waits CONCORD or facpo to fight for them.

    Try harder ag scum.

  11. Dissention among the ranks is not acceptable by code, terminate yourselves.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.