Sunday, April 30, 2017

Kills of the Week

One thing that's remarkable about the practice of ganking Code violators: The fairness of it. Carebears only lose ships that they choose to violate the Code with. If they suffer a massive loss, it's due to their own decadence, and the loss is of a severity of their own choosing. Similarly, if a poor miner spends all of his money on an unlicensed Retriever and goes bankrupt (gankrupt?), it's because he chose to dedicate all his isk to violating the Code. The punishment is always just.

Now to bring those principles to life, with some real-world examples from the week of April 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Andrey Deka starts us off with a bizarre Retriever. This isn't a fit; it's a concoction. Not satisfied with his ore bay, Andrey equipped a cargo expander. He needed to offset the loss in hitpoints by equipping 'Citadella' 100mm Steel Plates. But the resultant loss of speed needed to be offset by a 1MN Afterburner. Just in case that extra speed made it harder to hit asteroids, Andrey equipped a tracking enhancer. Agent Galaxy Pig had an easier job--equip a bunch of light neutron blasters and open fire.



Agent Uncle Flacco was scouting some asteroid belts when he saw an Orca piloted by Catia Levroth. For some unknown reason, the Orca suddenly went suspect. Unsure of the cause, Flacco took it as a sign. He reshipped into a Prophecy and tackled the Orca. The Orca's two friends in Hulks retreated as Flacco and Catia engaged in a duel of combat drones. One of the Hulk pilots returned to the belt in a Brutix, which opened fire on Flacco's Prophecy. Since Flacco hadn't gone suspect himself, the Brutix was CONCORDed for his trouble. The other Hulk pilot returned with logi support, but upon being attacked by Flacco's drones, the logi ran away and left the Orca to die.


Whatever the reason for the suspect status, it provided highsec with content. If you ask me, EVE would get more subscribers if all Orcas were suspect all the time.



Staffner was the latest victim to fall prey to "Deep Space Transport disease", an affliction that causes carebears to think they're being clever when they haul with DSTs instead of freighters. The truth is that our Agents are always at least two steps ahead. Agents Ralliana, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector BokChoy, Luna Nightblood, Australian Excellence, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Max, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Aruka, and Tax Collector HongMei blapped the oddly blingy Mastodon and scooped 4.5 billion isk of loot.



mprotector had a 23 billion isk Orca and just enough common sense to avoid going suspect, so a suicide gank was called for. Agents Jack Fizzleblade, Grant Bant, BAE B BLUE, BAE B PEW, SynthiaGreey, Elite Highsec PvP, Arobaz, Alexis Grixis, Bratok Srayona, Bint Bint, Dewzer Eyre, Jasper Esper, Yojiro, Sigmund Jund, Lanse Lot, Vudu Mama Juju, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, Tarwinz, Hermann Fizzleblade, Gea Stormbound, Whitney Wooberg, Archibald Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Hagen Fizzleblade, Juju Mama Vudu, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion melted the bloated fish.


Among the cargo was a set of 101 'Augmented' Mining Drones worth nearly 4 billion isk. It's good to get those off the chessboard.



Ouch. Jason Ryan's highsec super, a jump freighter worth 41 billion isk, was caught on autopilot and deeply AFK. The gank apparently didn't disturb Jason Ryan's slumber, as he could've activated his jump drive to escape at any time. Agents Hermann Fizzleblade, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Archibald Fizzleblade, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Hagen Fizzleblade, uninstall 01, uninstall 02, uninstall 03, uninstall 05, Johnathan Kusion, Jack Fizzleblade, Joshua Kusion, uninstall 04, uninstall 06, Franz Fizzleblade, uninstall 09, uninstall 10, uninstall 08, uninstall 07, Jake Kusion, Madula Tawate, buttman 5, buttman 6, and buttman 4 took him down. When Jason Ryan did eventually open his eyes, he must've experienced a rude awakening.



Speaking of somnambulists, SleepyBear went AFK in a shuttle--an increasingly rare occurrence in modern highsec. Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri performed his duty, not expecting to receive anything more than the satisfaction that comes with enforcing the Code.


Incredibly, SleepyBear's shuttle contained half a dozen PLEX, all of which were returned to CCP. Looks like six more months of winter hibernation for SleepyBear.

48 comments:

  1. http://imgur.com/a/xAdz0

    XD

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    Replies
    1. Where, oh where, is Zopi-Kip?

      Delete
    2. Those cartoons make me laugh! XD

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    3. Zopiclone won and keeps winning hearts and minds in Code everyday because they live by the CODE. Hope you see the grandkids one day.

      Delete
    4. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/33/7b/83/337b835c00b31430047f6a100631a149.jpg

      Delete
    5. It is well known to all that the comments section of Minerbumping is the most dangerous location in all of Eve. Even more dangerous than High Sec.

      Metagame at your own perile! Ye Be Warned!

      Delete
    6. https://68.media.tumblr.com/4b0ed4f7c3b1bfbb4e0b514200efb5d3/tumblr_inline_o27hvpSKxu1qgp297_540.gif

      Delete
  2. How CODE acts:
    Ganks miners.

    What code forces miners to pay for:
    Content. And Permits so they don't get ganked.


    Minerbumping.com is just like:

    A blog that people actually read. This forces the hisec militia plebs to advertise their failblog in our comments section.


    btw, ag, true Agents of the New Order post with their names. Your fail comments and nazi stuff is fail. But keep driving up that pageview counter for us XD!!!1. #6000000views!

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    Replies
    1. You could not be more right my friend. :)

      -Father Tomas Torquemada

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    2. The plain unvarnished truth, Nitetime.

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    3. http://t03.deviantart.net/0foAKD7zjk0SlLWcHmYJgaF7gYs=/fit-in/700x350/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre07/a7b1/th/pre/f/2014/242/4/a/untitled_by_siriuslyironic-d7xc1gb.jpg

      Delete
    4. You know its easy to bump that page count number up, just spam the refresh button constantly. Spam it till it breaks and then get back to breaking some miners so we can keep em dead. Try telling em something funny on the way out, if they gotta go, make em go with a smile.

      -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
    5. hahafakeagentanon, we don't have to bump the counter up because plebs like you and other anti-gankers keep commenting their drivel in the comments section.

      Delete
    6. AH don't get salty Adult video store, I hear its bad for your cholesterol.

      -HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  3. o7 great job everybody!

    I'm back on kills of the week! Woo space fame!


    -Galaxy Pig

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  4. ANOTHER week of failure for antiganking XD DXDXDXDXD!!!1

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    Replies
    1. Another week of you bitching about your hubby.

      Delete
  5. I got ganked by code and a pilot called brad stole my loot from code he said I could buy it back from him for triple the cost I declined

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    Replies
    1. I'll sell you a permit for normal price (10 mil. ISK/year) and I'll even throw in a new "." key for your keyboard for free!

      Delete
    2. http://pm1.narvii.com/5645/0e75f8edc18f0783fe4e96e78f493480e71119ad_hq.jpg

      Delete
  6. I just wanted to be friends god damn it.
    -Nice Trap m8

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    Replies
    1. This is good content.

      Delete
    2. http://orig03.deviantart.net/5e35/f/2013/042/f/1/alucard_s_trip_to_rio_de_janeiro_by_the_mninja-d5umxwi.png

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  7. How CODE acts:

    Government agencies at all levels aimed to exclude Jews from the economic sphere of Germany by preventing them from earning a living. Jews were required to register their domestic and foreign property and assets, a prelude to the gradual expropriation of their material wealth by the state. Likewise, the German authorities intended to "Aryanize" all Jewish businesses, a process involving the dismissal of Jewish workers and managers, as well as the transfer of companies and enterprises to non-Jewish Germans, who bought them at prices officially fixed well below market value. From April 1933 to April 1938, "Aryanization" effectively reduced the number of Jewish-owned businesses in Germany by approximately two-thirds.

    What code forces miners to pay for:

    During the Nazi era, German authorities reintroduced the Jewish badge as a key element in their plan to persecute and eventually to destroy the Jewish population of Europe. They used the badge not only to stigmatize and humiliate Jews but also to segregate them and to watch and control their movements.

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    1. How code fights:
      Blitzkrieg means “lightning war”. It was an innovative military technique first used by the Germans in World War two and was a tactic based on speed and surprise. Blitzkrieg relied on a military force be based around Light tank units supported by planes and infantry (foot soldiers). The tactic was based on Alfred von Schlieffen’s ‘Schlieffen Plan’ – this was a doctrine formed during WWI that focused on quick military victory. It was later developed in Germany by an army officer called Heinz Guderian who looked at new technologies, namely dive bombers and light tanks, to improve the German army’s maneuverability.


      Minerbumping.com propaganda is just like:

      Films released to the public concentrated on certain issues: the greed of Jews; the greatness of Hitler; the way of life for a true Nazi especially the young and as World war 2 approached, how badly Germans who lived in countries in Eastern Europe were treated.

      Delete
    2. https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/hellsing/images/e/e3/1232849484520.gif/revision/latest?cb=20100609170237

      Delete
  8. Somnambulism - An abnormal condition of sleep in which motor acts (as walking) are performed.

    Thank you for broadening my vocabulary with this article, Saviour.

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    Replies
    1. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/600x315/34/a2/48/34a248e724c2d80c79287e1d830c839c.jpg

      Delete
  9. http://t02.deviantart.net/3zqEJKNAZZsoRzJV3Dtr9w458wk=/fit-in/700x350/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre14/600c/th/pre/f/2010/307/b/7/catholic_churches_by_tsurugikage-d322zjh.jpg

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  10. Good evening, New Eden. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of everyday routine, the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition, the totality of blogs. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, where upon important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with moderator accounts will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, ganking. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, James 315. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. This night, I seek to end that silence. This night, I corrupt the MB to remind this community of what it has forgotten. A great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words; they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this Code remain unknown to you, then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me, inside the gates of High Sec, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Man you must be such a failure in real life that you have to grief people in a video game just to make yourself feel like someone special.

    It's sad you feel like such a loser IRL and have to take it out on others online.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're talking to the carebears and antigankers I assume. The ones who give our elite PvP'ers a hard time over winning in a video game. They violate Godwin's law and try to lay their guilt trips, when they should really just calm down and say gf.

      Delete
    2. Just own it Lawrence, just be a codenazi.

      Delete
    3. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d6/ba/f8/d6baf8464975d1ade0f115711f821fb0.jpg

      Delete
    4. So Coward-Anon 5:16 "you have to be such a looser in IRL to take it out on others online".

      As opposed to what? Being such a looser online, that we take it out on our kids in IRL?

      I choose griefing players in an online pvp game over pvp'ing my kids in IRL with a gun. Way to fail AG.

      Hey AG stop shooting your kids! Start shooting miners!

      Delete
    5. That, for all you newbros and younglings, is a reference to Kaylynn Shardani, the most judgmental and self-pious of all anti-gankers that ever lived... that is until he killed his kids and then himself.

      Talk about achieving your level.

      Hey AG, stop ganking your kids.

      Delete
    6. You mean this ag PHag?

      https://evewho.com/pilot/Kalynn+Shardani

      Yea he was a real ag hero before he became AN HERO. ;)

      And from what I have seen over the last few years from spying with my ag alt, there are a lot more ag shitters as crazy or worse than kalynn.

      Fucking baby killing ag scum must be purged from EVE, at all costs. EVE is a great family game, and I don't really want any of those subhuman PHags around my family or friends.

      Hey CCP, you need to start perma-banning anything that even looks like an afk highsec shitter ag. For the good of the community send them all the the biomass chambers!


      XD

      Delete
    7. Then why bother with the permits no more just kill em and lets all be done with it.

      Delete
    8. Boy trying to permaban all high sec shitters, and biomass them all. Oh my does that sound like something? Oh yeah...... NAZI!

      Delete
    9. 246 is a triggered PHag.

      I bet he supports RL infanticide.

      Delete
  12. It's not the miners, it's the AG shitters. They are worse than miners, they kill minors.

    We should start with AG, hunt them all down to extinction. Then enforce the Code as we see fit.

    ReplyDelete
  13. mprotector is the head bot in the Everyshore bot fleet. It looks like he was planning to convert his fleet to bot orcas instead of bot skiffs.

    ReplyDelete

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