Sunday, December 24, 2017

Kills of the Week

Facts are stubborn things, and so is the Code--because it's made of facts. Carebears can be awfully stubborn, too. But facts and the Code always beat a carebear, no matter how persistently he refuses to comply. After all, when a carebear disobeys, he ends up with a lossmail. Like one of these from the week of December 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

You have to work pretty hard to lose a destroyer worth 12.5 billion isk. If Xanatos IronSlasher wanted to lose a destroyer, he should've purchased a gank Catalyst and killed a Retriever or something. But Xanatos decided to do something far more sinister, and when Agent Luna Nightblood found out, she punished him for it.

Shocking but true: Xanatos autopiloted with 12.5 billion isk worth of skill injectors. He had a Freedom of Operation License, but it most certainly was not issued by an Agent of the New Order, so it was invalid.

The carebear was greatly displeased to learn that his skill injector gambit had failed.

Unlicensed travel through highsec simply isn't worth the risk.

Marscat lost big, too: 30 billion isk in a single ship. She took a more conventional route to poverty than Xanatos did, though. Marscat piled everything into a jump freighter, breathed a sigh of relief when she reached highsec, went AFK, and died.

The gank armada was a who's who of multiboxers: Agents Joel Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Australian Excellence, Tawny Rozei, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Max, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Avila Maori, Adela Maori, Taxman Daniel, Justin Kusion, Giselle Rozei, Katy Rozei, Trump The King, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector BokChoy, Sherri Rozei, Johnathan Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Christine Rozei, Ruby Rozei, Jeremiah Kusion, Grimhilt Maori, Theudelinda Maori, Jason Kusion, Adelina Maori, Amelia Maori, Ermingard Maori, Erminlinda Maori, Shanade Rozei, Lagatha Rozei, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Gertrud Maori, HSM Fleet Admiral, HSM MasterChief, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, Harletta Quinn, Jayson Kusion, and Lobo El Lobo.

Though the New Order of Highsec operates (surprise!) in highsec, you've probably noticed over the years that we don't do much of our killing in Jita itself. Oizys's blingy black ops ship proved to be the exception. Indeed, Oizys got himself killed on the Jita 4-4 undock while playing station games. His fate was inevitable: That's an ORE cargo expander on that battleship. Needless to say, Agents James Poddington, Padme Love, Lawrence Love, Jet Set Milly, Jack Fizzleblade, ClearLove, Hermann Fizzleblade, dAbOsSlAdY77, Mack Poddington, Padre Gankero, Archibald Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Basic Black Bitch, Hagen Fizzleblade, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Skiff Poddington, Collateralized Contracts, Perlo Tissant, Emergent Gameplay, Walther Fizzleblade, ectweak, Yojiro, and Selina Love won the station game.

One way or another, a Goofus and his isk will always be parted. Galagon had a nice, expensive marauder, but he didn't know what to do with it. Agents Krig Povelli, Ninjesus Christ, and Shin Dragoran, had a few ideas. It only took the three of them to take Galagon down.

...The three of them, plus some assistance from CONCORD. People always seem to lose pricey ships when trying to gank Agent Krig. It makes you wonder what they were thinking.

With these next two kills, we're going to do something a little different. They're both Gnosises, so judge for yourself which Gnosis was worse. murik murashev lost a 1.7 billion isk Gnosis with a staggeringly ineffective capacitor tank. He was killed by Agents Another ShadeOf Whyte, Sophie Whyte, Pure Whyte, Shazna Solta, and Ashley Whyte, whose lasers had no trouble destroying the ship, even if its capacitor was full at the time.

Then there's Universe One's Gnosis, ganked by Agents Spine Ripper and Lament von Gankenheim. Not as expensive, true, but what an abomination. People like Universe One shouldn't be allowed to have battlecruisers.

If you're floating through highsec in a pod and you have a brain, you should be terrified of the New Order. I mean, your odds of being ganked are pretty close to 100%. KRycaro was That Guy. Before long, he ran into Agent JOKEY ST0NER SMURF, a character who has killed 1,166 ships, of which 1,145 were pods. You can probably guess what happened next.

You guessed correctly, though the inevitable came as quite a surprise to KRycaro.


  1. The Code always wins!


  2. "Freedom Operations Licence"?

    That's not a permit to operate in James' space. You silly plebs can't protect 12Bill in illegal haulage with a novelty permit, especially with CODE watching.

    All over the want of a proper 10mill permit. Silly, silly highsec miners.

  3. I am identified as Lawrence Love on that officer spawn blops kill. <3
    Merry Jamesmas and a Happy New Order Year


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