Wednesday, December 27, 2017

The Wager

When miners get ganked in highsec, they typically receive a form EVEmail.


On occasion, the EVEmail is customized. In this case, Tophination received a special termination notice "for a Fancy Venture Pilot".


He certainly was fancy. Despite flying a Venture, Tophination had 1.2 billion isk worth of implants--at least until Agent Lawrence Lawton removed them.


One might expect a Venture pilot to play the helpless newbro card, but instead, Tophination tried to pull rank. The nerve!


Lawrence didn't waste time in explaining that Tophination had it all wrong. Agents of the New Order outrank highsec miners. I mean, basically everyone does.


Tophination wasn't lying about one thing, though: His character was a bit on the older side. He'd been playing since 2009 and hadn't advanced beyond mining highsec ore with a mining frigate. Clearly he had this game figured out.


The miner sent a reply to Agent Lawrence, opening with a heresy so vile as to take one's breath away. And he was only getting warmed up.


There was nothing surprising about the fact that Tophination went into an angry rant after being instructed to obey the Code. But that heresy... Lawrence had to say something.


Our hero was righteously indignant. You know an Agent of the New Order means business when he breaks out italics for emphasis.


The miner continued to drip with bitterness and sarcasm. But what caught Agent Lawrence's attention was the wager that Tophination offered at the beginning of his EVEmail. Thirty million isk for proof that EVE is a PvP game?


Lawrence Lawton is a Code scholar and a senior fellow at the prestigious Lawton School for Pubbies Who Can't Mine Good. He has sold over 3 billion isk worth of mining permits. Yeah, he was willing to accept the wager.


Our Agent didn't ascend to the apex of academia by accident. He knows his stuff. And with the complete and undeniable obliteration of the miner's argument, only one question remained. Would Tophination keep his word and hand over 30 million isk?


Actually, yes. Yes he would.


It was never a fair fight. Agent Lawrence had the miner outgunned, in every way, from the very beginning. In one sense, though, there was plenty of fairness: The Code is available to everyone. Ultimately, everyone in highsec will obey the Code. If you wonder how such a thing is possible, simply consider interactions like the one between Lawrence and Tophination. The good guys are winning.

17 comments:

  1. Wow, a completely new breed of miner, that was unexpected!

    Good job breaking out the New Pilot FAQ there LL. I'm still in shock that the miner made good on his bet though, I actually cheered out loud for Tophination when I saw that deposit.


    The Code always wins!


    Always!

    ReplyDelete
  2. whoooo another happy ending for everyone involved !!!

    But serious questions - why didn't antiganking stop the original gank? were they too busy shardani'ing around?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will never obey Jamey and his CHODE. slaves. Made 12 billion isk last month moving PI through highsec in a freighter. Come and get me Jamey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude932pm I o7 your stand but James 315 won't come get you if you challenge him behind an alias. Anonymous is worth as much as those stupid recruitment disks the rats in Nakugard drop.

      Delete
    2. No, no you didn't chodeanon932. All you did last month was cry and whine and post the same lie about making "Billions". Offering nothing but your tears as proof.

      Until you prove it you are nothing but a scared little shitter hiding in highsec.


      AND, I find it amusing that ehnemapoo is posting as if she knows anything. Why does she now feel the need to speak for James? When someone addresses the savior I'm sure he doesn't need some anti-EVE alpha leech replying.

      All you highsec "miners" need to get a permit or get rekt. If this upsets you then please miners, calm down.


      The Code always wins! Always!

      Delete
    3. I was pleasantly surprised when I scrolled down to see the pleb miner had come to his senses.

      Well done Agent Lawrence!

      On a side note, tell me if there ever a single Ehnea comment on here that doesn’t follow the same predictable format of, “Whilst I agree...”, followed by something pro-Code.

      We all know that Ehnea secretly wishes she was a Code Agent, but then again, I suppose anything is better than a life of scavenging scrap metal out of the empty wrecks we leave behind in Nakugard.

      Delete
    4. Yet here you are in the comments section living as a shadowboxing anon. That fact implies you are salty at the loss of a previous freighter and keep coming back in a vein attempt to whine about your loss.

      Seen it all before.

      In a bloke called shardani.

      Delete
  4. Tophination may be a Goofus, but at least he is a Goofus of his word. His followup question was a bit concerning.

    ok, so if im mining, and get up to take a quick piss, or have to get my child a drink, or have to take my eyes off the screen for a brief period of time, like this last time you hit me, am i going to come back to a brand new clone?

    https://i.imgur.com/voIhejR.png

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see a bright future for that dude. Really bright, like mining barge explosion bright.

      Delete
  5. Well done on killing an un-armed vessel that is very brave! lol
    At least thats 1 less person who will be able to put back into EVE and allow new ships to be built! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey all you shitters that think mining barges can't fight back are all idiots. Procurers have been used as frigate killing bait since forever. Then there's this guy that's NOT a shitter in a hulk from 10 years ago:

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ndWUlntJ58U


      The problem is not the ship, it's the retards flying them that think they know how to play EVE properly. Seriously, it's an ignorant shitter who thinks EVE is for highsec minig. Idiots, the lot of you.

      And if you can't even help support the game with a sub then you really don't count. You are a non-entity. Leeches.

      Always!

      Delete
  6. It is a Code mining alt that was ganked, just to make up this story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, yes. And I am sure the code is only a few people with hundreds of alts. Makes sense.

      Delete
    2. Hey anon250 that meme is so 2013, where you been friend?

      Delete
  7. I haven't seen little johnny pedo around for a few days. I wonder if Chris Hanson finally caught up with him.

    I hope his family is safe.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hear there may be some organized hisec miner murdering happening for the new year.

    X where do I sign up?

    ReplyDelete

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