Sunday, December 30, 2018

Kills of the Week

The EVE community was shocked this week by the destruction of Agent Velsharoon's Fiend, a special Alliance Tournament prize ship valued at 150 billion isk. EVE players were amazed that someone would actually risk such a valuable ship in combat. Those of us in the mighty CODE. alliance, on the other hand, were not surprised. We know that ships are meant to be used--not left sitting in a glass case somewhere. As the old CODE. saying goes, it's not the ship, it's the man. Whenever an Agent undocks something, he intends for it to one day die a glorious death. (In the case of gank ships, "one day" is usually a minute later.)

Carebears, on the other hand, treasure their bling and keep it tucked away in highsec, where they expect it will remain 100% safe even while they're AFK. Our task is to awaken them. A few examples, from the week of December 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Belfi Gor loaded up a 26.8 billion isk jump freighter and sent it to Jita, where she expected sentry guns and CONCORD to look after it while she was away. Instead, the ship was ambushed by Agents Tax Collector Richard, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Max, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Johnathan Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Homoerotic Finger Painting, FidgetSpinning, and Succulent Spodumain. Our Agents took good care of the Nomad.

Haley Harkonnen, too, autopiloted her blingy jump freighter to Jita--a system that's beginning to feel a lot like Uedama. A gank armada was on standby: Agents Taxman Daniel, Joel Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Jackson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Jake Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector BokChoy, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector Aruka, Australian Excellence, Homoerotic Finger Painting, FidgetSpinning, and Succulent Spodumain.

The Loot Fairy was cruel; of the 20 billion isk worth of cargo and modules, only 1 million isk dropped. Nevertheless, our Agents were happy to see the 'Excavator' drones dealt with, one way or another.

rokie164 presented our Agents with a riddle: What's a 4.7 billion isk marauder doing in a 1.0 security system? Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Rungerd, Astrid Tyrfing, Wilhelm Scylding, and Ingrid Scylding had an answer: Dying to a squad of gank Tornadoes.

Assuming Duncan420 was at his keyboard when it happened, he was shocked to see a CODE. fleet in nullsec. After all, Reddit had always assured him that CODE. would never go there. Yet Agents Intigo, CtrlFreak, lady labia, cuffdawg, WaTeR Ubersnol, TigR Kashada, Kadesh Priestess, Tawa Suyo, Pete Tomaszewski, Tiamat Key, Tikktokk Tokkzikk, Ithor Omanid, and Beandog killed Duncan420's supercarrier all the same. Trusting fake news can be deadly.

BuzzFan had two passions: Decadent modules and empty module slots. These two passions came into conflict, of course. The miner compromised by leaving some of his Mackinaw slots empty, while filling the others with bling. However, this arrangement left Agents Malagong Karagalan, Lewak, and Minx Mattel dissatisfied. They came up with a better solution: Enforce the Code and get rid of the Mackinaw entirely.

Oops! Maximus EnvictoTalon lost a 10 billion isk Bowhead, only to have Agent Demi Blanco gank his 3.6 billion isk pod, too. Despite everything going on in Jita these days, our Agents still keep a close eye on Uedama.

Silly Bowhead pilot. Should've bought a permit instead.



    Never forget kalynn shardani - ag moderator killed his infant 1 year old and himself because he was upset over a video game

    1. Jeez. I just read this for the first time.

      Shelley, why are you even flying with these guys? Walk away from the crazy, join us!

    2. Tortuga is trash.
      Not even NOL would take it.

      Keep failing to stop the ganks of meta 1 rigless catalysts Autist tortuga.


  2. What an amazing end to great year! Excellent work agents!

    I have a feeling next year will be even better.

    Praise James!


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