Tuesday, December 4, 2018

MineToo

Jane Cromwell chose to engage in illegal mining in highsec. You can guess what happened next.


Good guess. And can you guess what happened after that?


Yes, Jane sent a confused, garbled rant to the Agent who had brought her to justice.


The Agent in question was Crom Cimmeria. Both ganker and gank recipient had "Crom" in their character names, but neither had time to reflect upon the coincidence. There were bigger issues at stake.


For his part, Crom was interested in selling the miner a permit. That way, he wouldn't need to crush her in elite PvP again. But Jane had a different agenda in mind.


Jane chose to compare shooting a spaceship in a spaceship-shooting game to gang rape. It was the worst decision she'd made since she undocked in an unlicensed Retriever.


Agent Crom gently encouraged the miner to get some perspective. Jane didn't want to be like one of those crazy, foaming-at-the-mouth carebears, did she?


Happily, Jane chose to retract her rape analogy. She then came distressingly close to advocating the genocide of an entire ethnic group, but still.


Agents of the New Order often find that they need to keep a miner "on task". In this case, the miner needed to be steered back into a discussion about the Code and mining permits, rather than expressing her grievances about the Romani. You might say our Agents act as shepherds.


Jane invited Crom to prove that he was allowed to sell mining permits. Miners, be careful what you wish for...


That tweet always comes in handy.


Jane didn't have any photos of her own of CCP devs holding laminated documents, so she resorted to babbling on about in-game sovereignty. Of course, it's a long-debunked myth that the New Order would need in-game sovereignty to claim highsec.


The more she was confronted by Crom's common sense, the more desperate Jane became. It was only a matter of time now: She would either buy a permit, or she would redouble her efforts to hide from the truth.


Jane blocked Crom and ceased communicating with him. On the bright side, now the rest of our Agents have a shot at getting 10 million isk from her.

11 comments:

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/a30gyi/an_accelerating_epidemic/

    ReplyDelete
  2. CCP Shadowcat?!
    Expired license and expired avatar. That was old news; which current CCP dev is running around with a CODE license?
    Yeah, that's what I thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah the lamenting of the women.

      Delete
    2. Not all CODE agents are women!

      Delete
    3. Another foaming-at-the-mouth anonymous crybaby.

      Delete
  3. What a Goofus. Everybody knows that EVE is a player-driven sandbox. The lengths carebears go to just to save 10m ISK.

    ReplyDelete

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