Sunday, March 3, 2019

Kills of the Week

The week of February 24th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 2nd @ 23:59 EVEtime was a tragic one for all of the bots and bot-aspirants of highsec. To put it bluntly, they got hammered by New Order forces. There's no reason to shed a tear for them, though (and they shed enough tears for themselves, anyway). Each bot and bot-aspirant was the architect of his own destruction when he consciously chose to rebel against the Code.

(On that note, Agent Xan Staraider's miner-killing contest for February is closing with a vote for the worst-fit miner on the official EVE forums; click the link if you'd like to cast your ballot!)



Despite the carebears' wishes, wardecs continue to be a thing. EDEN HEAVY INDUSTRIES corp learned that the hard way when they were notified of an incoming wardec from the mighty CODE. alliance--and they failed to take down all of their structures. Why would anyone risk a structure in highsec this way? The carebears lost 11.4 billion isk when they were defeated in a battle with Agents Pod-Goo Repoman, Aaaarrgg, Eve Undergr0und, Hek Arbosa, arkon trader, commercial time, Aaaarrggs Scout Alt, comet chaser, Mr Vrix, zykerx, Sorgia, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, and Pod-Goo Repairman.



Largely due to a healthy fear of our Code enforcers, some PvE'ers choose to seek their fortunes in nullsec. Nevertheless, nullsec vessels--including Gandalf Aspen's supercarrier--are sometimes used for target practice. Agents WaTeR Ubersnol, Miyamoto Uroki, Jeronyx, abkiller Outamon, cuffdawg, Intigo, Vordak Kallager, Franky Burns, Tiamat Key, Beandog, and l0rd carlos rode forth into battle and took home another win for CODE.



Fortis spiritus was determined to tank up her Skiff and avoid the fate of all those miners who lack enough hitpoints to survive Catalyst attacks. Yet she couldn't resist indulging in a little bling for herself--a pair of mining upgrades worth nearly 900 million isk. Agents Kaal Aan, Zor Q, Alleil Pollard, Aiko Danuja, Lewak, Minx Mattel, and Hillbilly-2000 enjoy ganking Skiffs, especially blingy Skiffs. Fortis didn't stand a chance.



How do you lose more than 1.6 billion isk on mining ships? Lose two of 'em. Chrixtophe and Czarhiney had a pair of Hulks worth 800 million isk each. They were knocked out in a simultaneous gank performed by Agents Pure Whyte, Darvulia en Chasteaux, Shazna Solta, Knackered Old Goat, Tomas Logan, Zena Hilitari, Resource Collector 5, Resource Collector 4, Resource Collector 3 and Resource Collector 1.


That loss(es) is about to be replaced, eh?



Igor XIII got bored and gave up halfway through the process of fitting his hauler. He was soon blapped by Agents Luna Nightblood, Ralliana, TroubleShooter Maker, and TroubleStarter Maker. Clearly, this guy's heart wasn't in it. Maybe he fancied himself a combat pilot?


Alas, he lost his Marshal without firing a shot.



hero kim was ganked in a billion isk Cerberus. He has a history of going AFK and losing expensive stuff in highsec, so it was no surprise when his pod failed to warp out, despite having a two-minute window before Agent ST0NER SMURF came along.


One might say that hero's implants were well-suited to a Cerberus pilot. The trouble is, he was a miner at heart.

9 comments:

  1. It looks like they caught a miner trying to board an airplane. After being ganked, he insisted upon offering a good fight duel. https://nypost.com/video/irate-man-demands-to-shake-hands-with-fellow-airline-passenger/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How bizarre! They should have told him to Calm down and follow the Code, that would have solved the situation.

      Delete
    2. Miners......you just can't take them anywhere.

      Delete
  2. Here is a story of a miner named alex, he mines and mines and mines for 5 1/2c an hour urinating in empty pepsi bottles in case a new order agent catches him off gaurd.

    He is so bored he has to refresh the comments section of minerbumping to be the first to reply to an agents comments on the hope that somebody will share his misery and agree with his miserable view of superior eve players.

    If you went and visited alex and his 50 cats, the smell of urine in the carpet ( and on alex himself) is plausibly deflected on the cats, but really ,it is alex knocking over the full pepsi bottle in a sideways glance whilst fumbling for the bottlecap.

    Every comment from him is miserable and negative. He just really is that bad.

    Don't be like alex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here is a story of a chode. slave named Frank, he ganks and ganks and ganks for 5 & 1/2 hours urinating in empty pepsi bottles and shitting in buckets in case Jamey catches him mining with his alts instead of ganking.

      Frank is so bored he has to refresh the comments section of minerbumping to be the first to reply to a miners comments on the hope that somebody will share his misery and agree with his miserable view of free eve players, not a slave like his pitiful self.

      If you went and visited Frank and his 51 cats, the smell of urine in the carpet ( and on Frank himself) is plausibly deflected on the cats, but really ,it is Frank knocking over the bucket full of shit, then crying to Mom to come and bring him an empty one, he has ganking to do!

      Every comment from him is miserable and negative. He just really is that hypocritical.

      Don't be like alex.

      Delete
    2. Ooooooo you gankers make me sooooooo mad!!!!

      I WILL kill you! I WILL!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Good thing frank knows not to be like alex.


      Gf

      Delete

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