Friday, December 27, 2013

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #48

Eggnog? Forget it. The beverage of choice this holiday season is carebear tears. These are traditionally drunk from a bag--a Grab Bag, that is.

Carebear tears aren't the only things that can be carried in bags, it would seem.

So many EVE players misspell the word "harassment". Even more don't know the meaning of the word. Here's a handy little poem to help people remember:

"Harassment" has one "R",
"Carebear" has two,
The New Order is here to help,
We would
never harass you!

Bloodblister has been in the same corp for nearly a decade. Or at least, he was, until he biomassed himself just a few days ago. I guess that means the New Order was clean?

As an EVE rock star, I get a hero's welcome almost everywhere I go in highsec. I typically travel unescorted. There have been some assassination attempts here or there, but I don't judge the good people of highsec by the actions of a few lunatics.

They say that a million monkeys with a million typewriters would eventually produce the works of Shakespeare, but I'm inclined to doubt it. Shakespeare's plays don't use the words "extortion" or "harassment" nearly often enough.

Ning Bersama breathlessly informed me of the laws against shooting at spaceships in highsec. I have to give Ning and the previous EVEmailer some credit, though: "Reimburse me or I'll get you banned" is an interesting tactic. There's a word for it, but it escapes me at the moment.

J Quillin is another miner who really puts the monkey typewriter theory to the test. The spacing he uses is a little confusing, though. Is he saying "fuck you" repeatedly, or is he saying "you fuck" repeatedly?

At least some carebears "own" their limited vocabularies.

Jean Pelletier has been an ornery rebel for a very long time. These days, he shares with other rebels the tales of his victories. Unfortunately, the lack of rebel victories makes this difficult. For example, I didn't gank during the Memorial Day weekend, or move supplies or stock markets during that time period. In fact, by the previous December, New Order gankers were already using corps like New Order Logistics for the sole purpose of corp contracts to keep supplies off-market. Apparently, Jean's victory consisted of buying random stuff in random systems one weekend. It's such a fond memory for him that he still brags about it several months later.

...Then again, he's an "Alliance Fleet Commander" in a one-man corp with no alliance. If that makes him happy, who are we to judge?

aurora zirud wasn't too bothered by the loss of her Mackinaw. The New Order won't last long anyway.

Experimental Fun Times Corp RELOADED rarely gets applications. When it does, they're scrutinized very carefully. Chi Tawate didn't quite make the cut. However, I wish him the best of luck and I'm sure he will be successful in his future endeavors, whatever they may be.

On behalf of the entire New Order family I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


  1. It must be fun to be James 315 when he logs in every day and checks to see what's in his EVE Mail. I can only imagine...

    1. A post that describes James 315 schedule would be awesome and insightful. A Man with so much to do and cover must have the time management abilities of a secretary for a Fortune 100 CEO.

      All that paperwork and admin and he still manages to undock, that's more than many null alliance diplomats get to do, with I'm sure a lot less entertainment.

    2. Hmm... a comment asking for the Supreme Protector's schedule...

      Ledrian, is that you?!?

  2. Do we have to eat the whole bag? I'm trying to watch my weight.

  3. I'm all for grammar nazism but it's less funny when your own guy uses the completely retarded "you'r" twice in the same sentence.

  4. I LOL'd at "EVE rock star." The delusion of someone who probably is sitting in their parents basement blogging about what their alts "accomplish" in EVE is surprisingly not the most pathetic thing about this "movement." The most pathetic thing is the adoration of the other fat bastards sitting in their parents basement buying into this nonsense. You are not even a good gangster. You are, at best, an "EVE lounge singer." Try the rock star meme when you "control" more than one-tenth of one-percent of highsec.

    1. oh wow! anonymous posted on this blog!!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!!
      we've made it in the world now guys, someone who wont put his name behind his pitiful attempt to insult and scold other people has showed us how much of a grasp on reality he has.
      oh, wait, no he didn't, my mistake.

      Not everyone has a basement, and for the record, you can blog from anywhere on the globe (where you have service) from a smartphone.

      personally, im nearly 6'2", 175 lbs. the miles upon miles i put in weekly, through soccer and running keep me from being in the same body type as your aforementioned "fat bastards" but its good of you to use your imagination. you should try new things.
      also, if you would, please tell us more, anonymous person, about how you're adored by so many, and responsibly control such a massive area as 1/10 of 1% of highsec single-handedly. Please!

    2. "Try the rock star meme when you "control" more than one-tenth of one-percent of highsec."

      100% of highsec is more than " one-tenth of one-percent", so the use of the rock-star meme is expressly approved by you. This approval means that you are a fat bastard in your parents' basement, by your own words. Projecting your unfortunate situation onto others is not going to help you, but at least you've admitted it, that's step 1.

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