Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Tears of Babble

It's only fair that the New Order conducts affairs of state in English, since English is the most commonly-spoken language in highsec. The second most common: broken English. But that designation barely hints at its diversity. Let's look at some varieties, starting with the best:

I've noticed that when someone prefaces his remarks with an apology about his poor English, his English is often better than that of many native speakers. I'd much prefer reading something written by kikfamilie than by liberty, for example.

Then you have the translated English. toxa Heleneto's "divorce" comment is difficult to decipher, but at least all of the words made it through the translator.

Then there's the hybrid form. Procko Freeman is fluent enough to curse in English, but he spices things up with some of his native Czech, just for flavor. The subject line reads "motherfuckers", and "zasrana" means "fucking". Not sure about the "pico", but whatever it means, it's clear that the Code has been violated here.

Finally, there's the half-translated version. It was run through a translator, but not successfully enough to clear the non-English words. Nevertheless, you can still identify the standard carebear excuses.

Still, it's easier to deal with broken English than the alternative. There simply wasn't time to translate what wolf wolfius was saying. Not when I had better things to do. I assumed wolf wasn't happy, since I had destroyed his ship only a few minutes prior.

From Google Translate: "You asshole / Dick on / Suck dick bastard"

Arron Bichob sent me this wall of text. The only thing I could pick out was the number "10", which probably referred to a mining permit fee. I asked him for a translation. Remember, if a miner's tears aren't to your liking, you can always send them back and request a replacement.

I wasn't happy with what I received. Surely, Arron could do better.

It's tough love, but unless you make a carebear put some real effort into this game, he'll never learn how to apply himself.

At first, Arron reverted to his native tongue.

"You do not like the translation, learn Russian, sir!"

I politely asked Arron to try again. This was much more efficient than learning how to speak Russian. That could take days.

Arron did a little better this time. However, to see if a lesson sticks, you need to gank the carebear again.

Dialogist didn't send me a wall of text, but I felt he still owed it to me to translate what little he did send.

"Shove your Code to go to hell!"

The New Order is big on courtesy. We do you a solid, so we expect a solid in return.

Dialogist learned English in a hurry so he could threaten to stop playing EVE. I don't see why I should take that as a threat, though. Some of the finest, most productive people on planet Earth don't play EVE. There are billions of non-EVE players. What's one more? And if you really think about it, those who spend their time AFK are non-players, too.


  1. Re: divorce comment

    The modern Russian is even trickier than one I studied as a child. Anyway, the same word is used for scam (развод (сущ.), развести (глагол): "развести на бабки") and for divorce (она дала мне развод -- she divorced me). Also, young ex-soviets speak lousy Russian, so I only pity Google translate in his attempts to make sense out of it.

  2. Harassment (/həˈræsmənt/ or /ˈhærəsmənt/) covers a wide range of behaviours of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behaviour intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive.

    1. "It is commonly understood as behaviour intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive."

      Sounds like highsec mining, to me.

    2. Harassment (/həˈræsmənt/ or /ˈhærəsmənt/) covers a wide range of behaviours of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behaviour intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive.

    3. "zasrana pico" is serbo- croatian and not czech (google translate often confuses both languages even though they are completely different)

      however translated it means: pooped pussy

      very creative to say the least

    4. "zasrana pico" can be czech, if the author doesn't care about punctuation. Also in czech "pico" is a more commonly used curse word, than "pussy" in english. More like the word "bitch" (although they have of course different meanings).

  3. A minor logical quibble at best, but the poor bot-aspirant saying "die in hell" seems confused to me. Traditionally, isn't it necessary to die before you can reach hell?

    1. Classical Mythology can be funDecember 23, 2013 at 7:53 PM

      No, consider the examples of Orpheus, Heracles, Odysseus, and Perseus, from Greek mythology, among others. These are older and therefore more "traditional" than any sources you were likely to have been considering.

    2. My mistake. Actually, I was aware of these examples, but considered them exceptions: they are heroes. My mistake was to overlook the obvious fact that Knights of the Order are heroes too.


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